mortal musings when i've had too much too drink...
It amazes me how you look cuter every day. How I want you more every day.
How are you so glorious to my eyes when you are
the same day in day out? Does my love transform you? Does it
help you transcend your mortal world? Do you do the same for
me? I can't be sure.
At night, the light hits my windshield, and as the dirt and the dark make it refract through grimey glass, I see clouds in the featureless skies. If I had to explain all of this and my feelings to you, I don't think that I could find words to capture the things that float through my mind. The way I see you in a perspective at an angle that only my eyes can see. No Hollywood director could make anyone else see you in the light and shadow the way you live in my mind's eye. Your image trembling and quaking there in replay.
Don't make me hold onto this love, and don't let it implode. If it does, it will backfire and consume me like it did last time. I want it to shine out of me like a lighthouse beacon. This little light of mine and i'm gonna let it shine. let it shine?
Right on into the night. And I don't regret. I don't look back. White memory. Dark light. Randy thoughts and intimations. Only you could save me. No one else could. Do you see me in the light I see myself? Does anyone? Does anyone love me the way I love myself? And in the real world anyone could define me.
And the way your brown eyes peer into me. Sometimes I think it sparks in you. I think we're crossing boundaries we have no right to pass. I think we're opening doors we'd rather keep closed. But I think it's too late and we've gone too far. And, I'm not sure if I want to go back now.
I'm musing on subjects better left alone. Too concerned with my inner monologue, reworking it for dramatic effect. Need to live more and think less. I need to drink and party and have lots of fun. The guy of my dreams is out of reach, and life is short. I should get out there and enjoy this ride while I'm on it, cause I'll only live once and you're not coming back.