White Clouds in the Blue Sky

There had been dreams in the night, Ranma was sure. The whispering had been trying to be heard, through the dreams, or above the dreams.

He stared at the floor of his room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, having just woken up. He had shivered while sleeping, which is why he had wakened.

A single, lone gasp because he had heard the whisper for just a second, but why?

Why did he gasp in his sleep from a dream about a whisper?

It was dark. He had never felt it for a long time since his childhood, but there was a fear of the dark now in his chest. It was painful. He wasn't supposed to be afraid, because he was supposed to be a man. He had that from before still, at least. Be a man. Don't be afraid.

When it was night though, it felt cold.

His fingers traced the scar on his chest. He felt it through his fingertips, but not through the skin on his chest.

He knew the second beast lived in the scar. It slumbered, even though it didn't want to.

It was a cold beast. It felt nothing.

Whenever he felt strongly, the beast wanted to wake, and devour him whole.

He wanted it to, but he couldn't let it, for someone had said to him once, and he listened to her, "Don't die."

He couldn't die.

Ever.

Chapter One - Whispers

Missus Uremeshi knocked on his door to wake him up, but he was already awake. He didn't sleep at all through the night.

He sat up. It was time to eat, Missus Uremeshi had said through the door.

He was then in the kitchen, sitting at the table with Missus Uremeshi. She mentioned something about the mister leaving for work early in the morning, so that's why he wasn't with them.

The food was good, but Ranma felt he couldn't truly taste it.

Taste had left him, along with so many warm things. He couldn't be sure of everything he had lost. It was all dust, covering and hiding everything under a shallow layer.

He didn't mind though. It was better to lose everything warm to the dusty wasteland than to the second beast.

The second beast would devour everything, leaving nothing.

But the dust, even though he would never again feel warm, his important things would be preserved, in a manner. That way, he might be able to hear the whisper too. To let the second beast have its way was to lose the whisper. He couldn't lose it.

Missus Uremeshi asked him a question. He looked at her, feeling confused.

"Ranma, are you okay?" she asked. Her face was covered in concern. She reached out for his hand, but he suddenly withdrew it.

"Yeah, I'm alright," he said, weakly, but trying to sound strong.

She reached, and Ranma withdrew his hand away even deeper into himself, but Missus Uremeshi instead grabbed his empty soup and rice bowls. She looked as though she wanted to say something, but felt Ranma didn't want to hear what she had to say.

He did and didn't. He hated where he was, but felt afraid at wherever he might go.

He didn't want to lose, so he kept his hand close to him. He looked from Missus Uremeshi's eyes down to the table, shame running through the whole of his body. Instinctively, his fingers ran along the scar.

And he could feel the first beast waking up, and it was already laughing, its mocking tone shaking the whole of his spine.

The fucking coward! He wanted to come out! Right now! The little boy! The coward who hated the first beast.

Ranma felt cold, through and through. He was shivering.

Standing up, suddenly, he turned away from Missus Uremeshi, and walked out of the kitchen. She wouldn't see the coward. Only the coward cried, and remembered, and allowed the second beast to feast on all that was warm.

In the backyard, his face soon dry, after some time alone, Ranma looked at his sleeve, which was wet. He couldn't leave until it was dry.

It was time to leave for school, he had heard Missus Uremeshi say behind him. She packed a lunch for him, which she hoped he'd eat this time, she mentioned.

The grass and garden were very green and colourful, Ranma noticed, before leaving the yard to the house. And the sky, its depth was still surprising. But he was grey. He was losing his warm colours, and he wanted to, but the whispering pleaded for him not to, so he had to fight for them.

He couldn't hear the whispers, but he decided he understood its message.

He left the house, his lunch and books in hand.

There was a feeling in his head though, as he was walking to school.

It led his eyes from the ground towards a young man leaning against the school gate.

Dry blood covered half the young man's head, and it had dripped onto his shoulder, and then down both his front and back.

He was kindly smiling at Ranma, who had decided to ignore him by not looking at him.

"I sense you've decided something Ranma," said young man. "That's good. I was getting worried that you'd just give up."

Ranma stood for a moment in front of the young man, so he could whisper, "Why don't you stay dead?"

"I have to pay you back, Ranma," said the young man. "I owe you that much at least."

"Your glasses are bent," said Ranma, quietly. "And you're all bloody."

"That's you who sees me like this," said the young man. "It's because that's how you last saw me."

Ranma looked down at the ground again. "I don't want to be helped." He just wanted to float.

The bloody young man faded away, and with it, so did the sense Ranma had of knowing who the young man had been.

Who had that been? It was somebody who showed up before it happened, Ranma was sure. He had known the guy's name before too.

To float. That's what the second beast promised him, when it was awake.

It would be eternal peace, being caressed by the waves of peace. It was the feeling assured to him if he dared allow the cold from his scar to awaken into the second beast and then devour him, body and mind.

Spinning. His head wasn't feeling right, as though he was looking down the side of a tall building all the way to the bottom where people were so distant, seeming like ants.

"Ranma," quietly said the girl from the day before. "The teacher's looking at you."

"So?" said Ranma, after a moment. The teacher could do all he wanted.

The time creature had settled atop his head, and was pressing a great deal of its weight down onto Ranma.

The first beast, the time creature, and the second beast. None truly existed but in his soul. They weren't real, just like him.

There was the coward too though. He hated the coward, who wandered through the mind, as though trying to live in the dusty wasteland. All the coward did was cry from sorrow and scream from rage, loudly and constantly. But only the coward was still real.

He should've been staring ahead, but the weight of the time creature was too great, so he stared at his desk.

"Ranma, he's coming this way," said the girl.

Ranma looked up to see the teacher staring down at him. "So, Saotome. Are you here or not?"

Ranma shrugged. "Whatever," he said. Whatever was a good word, as it had neither friendship nor hate contained within it. It was an empty word, and suited the moment, he felt. It matched himself, too.

Even standing outside the class, two buckets held in his hands, it suited him. 'Whatever,' he thought.

Empty.

What exactly was he supposed to do now?

All that mattered were the words he couldn't hear, so he didn't have to be at school, around people who were alive.

He was too out of place, so he didn't belong. Not anywhere. Not at the Uremeshi's. Only in the cold earth.

Cold earth. The words were suddenly a trigger, reminding him of the pain in his head, which flashed for a brief from the back of his eyes as though alive.

It was terrible agony, and he couldn't think, but only scream.

Dying. Only enough strength to keep one eye open, and even though he could see, he wasn't sure what it was that was in front of him. It was too dark, and scarlet dominated all the other colours.

The strength in his hand was fading. It was holding something else, which was warm, and which squeezed tightly.

Somebody's hand, he realised. Somebody whose lap his head was resting upon. And this person was whispering, ever so gently, so softly.

"Ranma," said the young man, whose head was bloody. "Ranma, come back."

Opening his eyes, Ranma looked at the young man. He saw he was in what was in the sick room, which had its lights turned off.

"Thank goodness," said the young man. "I was really worried there for a moment." He half-smiled.

"I don't remember you," said Ranma, tiredly.

"You don't really remember anything," said the young man. "But that's how it is, for now."

"I know you're dead though," said Ranma.

The young man said nothing.

A door opened, letting light into the dark room. It was the girl who sat beside him. "You're awake!" She sighed. "You scared us all! The teacher ended up bringing you here." She then said, "Your parents are coming to get you."

'No, they're not,' thought Ranma. He looked back at the young man, who was smirking at him. "What's your name?" he quietly asked.

"My name?" The girl stammered for a second, in the background, as Ranma wasn't really listening to her, "Um, it's Rei."

However the young man, whom Ranma had been asking, didn't reply, but only continued to smirk as though enjoying what he was watching.

Looking at Rei, really for the first time, Ranma noticed her long hair, which reminded him of a certain day in a different time, oh so very long ago. Before it all happened. When the other life had truly started.

"Be careful, Ranma," said the young man, his face suddenly covered in concern. "Don't go back there."

Heeding the words, Ranma quickly redirected his thoughts to the young man.

The thoughts of the other time, he noticed, seemed to make the scar grow even colder, which Ranma felt was the second beast feeding.

No, he couldn't let that happen.

"How come you're here?" he asked the young man.

"I was given the chance to help you," replied the young man, at the same time Rei said, totally flustered, "Ah, I just wanted to, um, see how you were doing!"

At the end of her words, the young man started to laugh. "You've got a fan, Ranma! Already!" He looked at the girl. "She must be very kind, to worry about the new weird kid from that place." He had emphasized the words 'that place', and then gave a sigh. "Anyhow, I'm not allowed to tell you my name, Ranma. It's a rule. You need to remember on your own, if you choose to want to." He barked out a laugh. "God, do I ever hate mysteries." He then faded away, leaving Ranma alone with the girl. He also left some words for Ranma, before totally disappearing, "It won't be easy, Ranma. If you go through with it, I mean. It'll hurt, every step. More an' more."

Somehow though, even when the boy was in the room, Ranma already had felt alone with the girl, whose name was Rei.

"Um, maybe I'm bothering you?" said the girl, who seemed to expect no response from Ranma.

The darkness of the room before was changing, Ranma noticed. Before, there had seemed to be something in it, making it worth bearing. But now, whatever it had been in the room, it was withdrawing. And what was taking its place was a feeling like hot cooking oil spreading over the bottom of a frying pan.

It was in his mind, this feeling. And with the creeping of this sensation through his mentality did the first beast roar with delight, as though preparing for the fear to begin to emerge from the coward, who shivered in the darkness from the cold and nightmares.

"No," said Ranma, to himself and to Rei.

"No," he said again, but now only to Rei.

He again said no, and not to anyone but perhaps the world, because there seemed to be some comfort in it. Where though, he didn't know. But, he was supposed to find it, because there, he would hear the whispering.

Rei warmly but shyly smiled at Ranma, and then bowed, saying a parting.

And, following a path towards the comfort, Ranma felt pressed to say, before she left the room, "Thank you."

Yet, whatever comfort there was, it wasn't enough.

Rei had left the room, so now it left him alone.

The scar on his chest slowly grew cold, spreading through his whole body, right to his bones.

And then, he shivered, having returned to where he belonged from the brief moment of being where he could never again be.

He closed his eyes, wondering if the first beast were real, then would it be laughing manically?