White Clouds in the Blue Sky

Prologue - Beast

"Don't die."

Ranma remembered those words, but not who said them.

He felt an ache in his chest, where.... He opened his eyes, running his hand over his chest. There was no wound. It wasn't sticky with blood.

He pushed himself to his knees, looking down at himself.

Had he just been dreaming? He pressed his hand to his chest, and then brought it to before his eyes so he could look at his palm.

There was no blood. Had it been a dream? Had he dreamed everything?

He looked around. He found himself in a field, covered over by flowers. So many colours.

There was a wind. Warm. Gentle.

And the sky. Blue. Not the blue he always imagined it to be, but the real sky blue that always surprised him whenever he looked up. He had always felt it should be softer than it truly was.

"You won't die. I won't let you."

Ranma remembered those words, but he couldn't remember who said them.

And then, there was in his head was a sudden, terrible ache. He grabbed his head, screaming.

He then opened his eyes.

The night had been hard. Ranma barely remembered getting to school, he'd been so tired.

He'd also been numb, but that was the way he usually felt now. Numb and cold.

Bad dreams. He must've woken up at least three times last night.

His hand ran over his chest. The scar almost felt alive sometimes.

He said, after being prompted by the teacher, "My name is Ranma Saotome. I've just moved here from Nerima." He was then shuffled off to a desk beside a girl, behind a guy, both of who watched him with curious fascination.

Thankfully, neither asked him any questions. And the teacher didn't bother him.

He probably wouldn't have acted well if anything had bothered him, because of the beast riding on his back.

It sapped his strength. Fed him dark, disturbing thoughts. And he couldn't get rid of it.

It wasn't really a beast. It wasn't really there. It didn't really exist.

But Ranma knew he wasn't himself lately. And he wasn't feeling very strong anymore. And the beast was so heavy.

His mind.... Sometimes he forgot things, and not just the usual things he didn't bother to remember. It was anything, everything. Even the past that he thought important was going, disintegrating into dust in his now brittle mind.

'Falling apart. Turning into something not real.' Ranma stared at his desk. He knew he should've really been listening to the teacher. 'Fuck the teacher!' he thought. He hated.

There was something important he was missing.

He ran his hand over his chest. The scar now burned.

He noticed the time. He watched it crawl around on the wall, laze, and do anything but move quickly.

Ranma wanted out of school. He didn't want to be there. Nothing for him. He had nothing.

He felt the beast on his back roar at the time, which he felt was on his desk now, sitting there, staring up at him. Maybe it had on its face a mocking smile. Was it making faces? He wouldn't disbelieve it.

Only if he'd been put near the window. Then he could have something. But he was in the back corner, against two walls, and beside a girl who kept looking at him. There was only the desk to look at!

And the beast nagged him. And the time, sitting on his desk, staring up at him, laughed.

What did the beast nag about? There was something important that it hated, that it wished for Ranma to get rid of.

But he thought it maybe had to do with the faintest sound that he could hear, so deeply buried in the back of his mind. It whispered to him, but he couldn't tell the words from a hiss. And he feared that if he didn't listen for it, he'd forget about it. The words would disappear, and, like the rest of his mind, turn into dust.

"Heard there was someone from Nerima comin'," said the guy who been sitting in front of him earlier in the class. "So. You're the only survivor? Was it some kind of monster? The newspapers didn't say nothin', but word gets around. Heard it was a monster."

"Don't remember," said Ranma. He didn't. Things were hazy, and lost. Especially that time. It had all been so confusing, and now, looking back, he couldn't quite remember how everything had happened, or the order of events, or anything of any coherence.

He again felt the scar on his chest. There was also another on his back. It had gone right through him. He remembered that. Right through, and it continued going, despite him. Oh, he'd remember that. It was the only thing he truly remembered. And that was really the only thing he wanted to forget.

Other kids gathered round, but Ranma barely even noticed them because the second beast, which lived in his mind had woken. It frightened the beast on his back. The time creature, playing on the ground ahead of him, stopped still, hoping to not be noticed.

"Gotta go," said Ranma. "Not feeling good." He pushed his way through the crowd, and then ran.

He then found himself lost, but the second creature had fallen asleep. Mercifully. So much so.

Ranma leaned against the wall, relieved. He then slid down, burying his face in his hands, breathing hard.

He desperately listened for the words in the back of his mind. They were his only chance. He rocked his body back and forth, trying to comfort himself. But it was futile.

The second beast, in its wake, drained him of all his energy. He was beat for the rest of the day.

"How was your first day?" asked Mister Urameshi, when Ranma entered the house.

Ranma looked up to the man. Where'd he'd meet him again? And was it before or after? He shrugged. "Didn't even notice it."

The beast on his back laughed mockingly.

"Meet anyone nice? It's a decent school. Good people." Mister Urameshi walked past Ranma. "Gotta go. See ya man."

"Ranma? You're back?" asked Missus Urameshi, from the kitchen. "The doctor wanted to see you today, remember?"

Doctor Tofu. He survived too. Wasn't just Ranma alone. He hoped.

But something nagged at him. The doctor wasn't around Nerima then though, was he?

Ranma struggled to remember. His face contorted, scrunching together, the effort to remember trying all his energy. He fell back against the wall.

But now he was sure. The doctor had been gone. He wasn't around then.

And he remembered the screaming. Loud. Painful to his ears.

No. The doctor hadn't heard the screaming.

"Did he say what he wanted?" Ranma asked. He hoped the lady didn't ask if anything wasn't wrong, with his odd behaviour right in front of her.

"He just wants to ask a few things," said Missus Urameshi. "And he said he wasn't going to pressure you into asking. You don't have to go, if you don't want to."

"Alright then," said Ranma. He just wanted to go to bed. Not because he was looking forward to any dreams, but because it was the only place where he could expect to be left alone, anywhere. He didn't have to pretend to be alive.

"Ranma, if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here," said the missus.

"Yeah. Okay," said Ranma, already at the top of the stairs.

He entered his room. A small one.

He walked to his bed, and sat down.

And then there was no other alternative. He laid down.

"Ranma! Let's go!" said Mister Urameshi, from behind the door.

Ranma sat up. Did he fall asleep? What time was it?

"The doc wants to see ya'. You comin'?"

"Yeah. Sure." Ranma stood up. He felt a little better. But how?

"Hi Ranma. It's been a while hasn't it?" asked Doctor Tofu.

Ranma didn't respond. He watched the table. On it, time seemed to relax, almost twiddling its thumbs.

"If you don't want to talk, that's fine," said Tofu. "I'll ask some questions. But if you don't want to answer them, then tell me to stop. I'll let you go." He asked, "Do you remember what did it?"

Ranma didn't want to remember, but he could see it in his mind. A monster that looked like a man, and he was wrapped in fire. He hesitated, but then said to Tofu. "And under the fire, it was like punching rock. And he moved fast. Really fast." He felt his chest, where the scar burned. "And he used a long spear made outta fire."

And the monster laughed so hard cause it was amused by how he didn't just get Ranma with his spear, but the girl standing behind him too.

Ranma ran his fingers along the scar over and over, slightly faster and faster. He listened to the laughter in his memory, and he could feel the second beast waking up. His breathing deepened, and he couldn't stop watching the table, where time stared at him, too frightened to move.

"Ranma?"

Doctor Tofu's voice cut in half the fragile emotion that had building been in Ranma.

Ranma looked at Tofu, feeling himself beginning to drain of the anger. The second beast returned to sleep.

"Do you know what happened to the monster?" asked Tofu.

Ranma tried to remember, but he couldn't remember anything after the laughter had started.

Even the day that had just happened had fallen away into the abyss that was in his mind.

"I don' know," he said.

Next day, Ranma sat in his desk, tired. He couldn't sleep the night before because of dreams, especially one where it felt like a million needles had been slowly sinking under his skin into his body.

It'd been an uneventful morning, with only one thing said to him by Missus Urameshi, which was, "Good morning."

And he'd gotten to school, but he couldn't remember how.

"You look a bit sick," said that girl who kept looking at him the day before.

Ranma felt like ignoring her, but he thought about what she said. "Yeah, I am sick," he said, mostly to himself. His whole body didn't feel right. Every inch felt wrong.

He didn't know why he said next what he said, "I feel like everything's happening all at once. Like I'm inna strong river, and being dragged away."

Ranma then decided there was one wish he could have granted.

He just wanted everything to slow down, or to stop. He needed to remember it all, right from the beginning. But whatever it was, he wasn't sure yet. The whispering trying to have him remember whatever it was, was still just a terrible itch, trapped underneath the surface of a bloody pool of terrible truth.