hey everyone!!

i doubt anyone even remembers me! but i was having my finals, and i
wasnt allowed to use the net. but now thats all sorted out, and its
good to be back:)

i hope you like this fic, i'm not sure where i'm headed with it, i
guess it'll depend on the feedback i get.....

luv
Sahiti

----------------------------------

Title: Pretty Love

Author: Sahiti (funky_angel_here@hotmail.com)

Summary: I can't sleep. It's raining and the weather is beautiful.
Just inspired me to write this fluff piece. Its about B/L, although
this part is only about Lindsay- they aren't a couple yet, and its
just one more story about how they get together... its set before the
Pearson trial... its kinda really long, and, well, fluffy. Oh and the
few verses I use are from a poem that I wrote when I was eleven years
old, its called "Pretty Love":)

Disclaimer: Not my characters. Belong to DEK and 20th Century Fox....

Feedback: I'm posting a fic after AGES, I'd die if I don't get any
feedback! Please, you have to tell me what you think!
____________________________________________________________

It was raining. The sky was a deep grey, although Lindsay couldn't
really see it. The droplets pelted against her window and dropped to
the sill. She opened it completely and a spray of water made her pale
pink nightdress stick to her skin, making it instantly cold. She
stared into the window, freezing up the image to make it just one
motionless frame. Dark, wet and solemn. Kinda what was feeling like.
She shivered a little from the cold, yet making no attempt to move.
The rainwater felt a lil' nice. For once, the weather matching you,
she thought sarcastically. She hated it when one felt like crap and
the day was sunny and bright and beautiful, coz it happened more than
once to her. She watched with a smile as the rain turned to a
drizzle; she held out her hand, letting the drops rest on her arms.
She felt like a kid who trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth; but
the drops felt colder against her skin.

Nevertheless, it was a beautiful night, to say the least and Lindsay
didn't want to crawl back into her empty bed.... Sure it was
comfortable, hell, it was one of the things she dreamed about getting
into when she was working- it always felt good to come back to her
room, which was her salvation. But tonight, it was different. Tonight
she just felt lonely. And the empty bed was a door waiting to open
all the feelings she had bolted up inside. Normally, she wouldn't
feel so bad about it, because she had enough things to keep her mind
going for the whole day. But tonight....

Maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was the fact that every one of
her cases had just finished today leaving her a lot of free time, she
really didn't know why, but tonight, she was thinking about what she
had told Bobby a few weeks ago. That she had fallen in love with him,
that she was going to stay right here.... She hadn't really meant to
tell him all that, but it had felt so right to tell him then... or
rather *shock* him then with the revelation. Now things were really
awkward between them, but nothing got between their professional life-
 She was still Lindsay Dole, one of the best lawyers of Boston, and
he was still Bobby Donnell, leading one of the best law firms in
Boston. But something between them had turned *off*. She couldn't
really pinpoint it, but she was sure about it.

She made her way back to her bed and was just, unwillingly, settling
into her bed when she heard the phone ring,

"Hello?" she spoke into the receiver, thankful for a distraction.

"Hey Lindsay!"

"Helen, hi!"

"Watcha doin?" Helen asked.

"Nothing much, just watching the rain."

"Yeah, me too, so I take it you're free?"

"Yep, what's up?"

"I'm bored, that's all, wondering if you wanted to watch movies or
something..."

"Actually, I'm pretty pooped. Sorry..."

"Lindsay, I'm bored!" Helen whined into the phone.

Lindsay sighed a little, "Ok, listen, why don't you just come over?"

"Yeah, sure, are you ok? You sound... I dunno... pooped."

Lindsay smiled, "That's what I told ya. But it's ok, I'm not really
sleepy."

"Oh good, coz even if you were, I'd still come over."

Lindsay had to grin at that, "I know. See you in twenty, bye," she
said before hanging up the phone. She sighed again, trying to shake
up the mixed emotions welling up within her. She *really* didn't want
to be thinking about Bobby now. It made her already gloomy mood, more
gloomier, darker. Funny, she thought, isn't thinking about the person
you love supposed to make you feel happy? And immediately, she
thought, When you're *with* them, sure, but when you're like this, it
just plain sucks.

*It's being loved back that's prettier, not just loving,
It's being loved back that's prettier, than just loving.*

***

A little while later, she heard Helen's unmistakable screech on her
patio and went to open the door. After throwing in their "hey"s,
Helen walked in saying, "God, it's cold out there."

"Yeah," Lindsay said, "but it's pretty...."

"You? Liking COLD? Not happening!"

"No, really." Lindsay protested, "Come on, it's beautiful!"

"Something's wrong, what is it?" Helen asked, spreading her wet over-
coat on the floor before walking in. Lindsay slightly rolled her
eyes, "What, I like the weather, so something's wrong?"

"Yep, spill."

"Stop it."

"Sure, you're gonna spill sooner or later anyway." Before Lindsay
could protest, Helen continued, "Any good movies showing on TV?"

***

Holding her can of Diet Coke across the lower portion of her face,
pretending to be drinking (although the can was empty), Lindsay hid
the silent tears that fell from her eyes. It wasn't really a touchy
movie, even for a chick flick, but the woman in the movie, Anne, was
waiting to get a guy, Tyler, to ask her out, and she was finally
giving up on him not knowing that Tyler really liked her. Helen
noticed her sniffling and said,

"Linds, are you *crying*? Jeez, it's just a TV movie! What's wrong?!"

"Uh... noth-nothing," Lindsay stammered.

"Yeah. Right." Helen handed her a tissue, "First, you say you love
the cold, now you're crying over an awful TV movie, and you expect me
to believe nothing's wrong? Next time, gimme a little more credit,
ok?"

"It's just.... Anne loved Tyler, sh-she waited two seconds before
giving up on him, that's just so... so unreal, it doesn't happen like
that... when you're in love, you... wait..."

"You're crying over *that*? What, are you pregnant or something?"

Lindsay thew her tissue at her, "Yeah, as if..."

"Listen, you wanna play twenty questions, fine by me, but it would
save a LOT of time if you just told me-"

"Anne LOVED Tyler!" Lindsay interrupted, "She should wait for him to
come along and give him a chance before giving up on him... he could
love her too... they could have a chance to have something so
beautiful.. just because Bobby holds up his emotions, doesn't mean
I'm giving u-" she stopped suddenly, realizing what she just said.
Shit. Oh shit, she thought, please let Helen have not heard that,
please.... But, *of course* Helen had heard her. She stared at
Lindsay,

"Bobby. Wow, I shoulda known..."

"It was just a slip of tongue! Nothing-"

"I really don't wanna say 'Listen, this is ME you're talking to' but
it IS, so quit the crap."

Lindsay sighed, she might as well get it over with.... "I love him,"
Lindsay said staring into Helen's eyes, she paused a little before
she continued, "And I told him that."

"Yeah, and?" Helen urged, growing excited with each second. "You'd be
perfect together!" she couldn't help adding.

"Sorry, not happening--"

"Why?!"

Lindsay snorted a little, "Cuz we haven't talked about it, coz we
haven't been able to even make eye-contact, coz I think I scared the
shit out of him and cuz I think he doesn't want it," she said in one
breath.

"Yeah, you must've scared the shit out of him," Helen responded.
Lindsay looked at her as if to say, 'Yeah, that helps,' but Helen
ignored that and continued, "but there's no way you would know
whether he wants it or not unless you talk to him!"

"Yeah, but.... we haven't even *looked* at each other before feeling
all awkward, you really think--"

"That's cuz you haven't talked yet!"

"I really don't think I can."

"Why? You just said you loved him-"

"And he *knows*. How do you think it'll be? He'll probably hate to
see me right now."

"Yeah, happens all the time, girl tells guy she loves him, they don't
talk, guy hate the girl, yup, happens all the time," Helen said
sarcastically.

"I don't think I can handle it Helen!"

Helen softened, "Handle what?" she asked, even though she knew what
it was.

"I don't think I can take it when he say's he doesn't want it...."

"*When* he says it?" Helen asked a little surprised, "What makes you
so sure that he doesn't want it?" Lindsay looked up suddenly, her
blue eyes searching, "I just... thought, he wou-wouldn't."

"Linds, as far as I know, any guy would die to go out with you,
you're amazing, there's no way he wouldn't want to at least give it a
*chance*!"

"Ya think?" Lindsay said, hopefully.

"You bet. And well, if he doesn't" Helen began, laying back on the
sofa with a smile, "you'll at least know he's a jerk." And a second
later, <whack> a pillow comes hurtling across her face from her best
friend.

*Its finding out that you're in love that's prettier, not moving on;
Its finding out that you're in love that's prettier, not giving up;
Gettin' over it doesn't help, coz the pretty love is still with you.*

***

Lindsay woke up with a start, blinking her eyes to get adjusted to
the darkness that was only illuminated by the glow from the TV. She
was curled up on one end of the sofa, and Helen was sprawled on the
rest of it. She got up and brushed herself, before bringing a thick
rug and covering Helen with it. Helen mumbled something incoherently
and Lindsay said, "Yeah, g'night to you too."

She switched off the TV and walked to her room, surprised to realise
that she was now wide-awake. She began to think about what Helen had
said. I'm just like Anne, she thought, I'm just waiting, not doing
anything. She realised if she wasn't going to do anything soon, she
was going to lose something amazing- The freshness of being in love.
It was what Helen and me used to call in college  "Pretty love,"
Lindsay reflected.

She *had* to do it. She was right when she had blurted out to Helen
that Bobby locks up his emotions. She understood that. Although that
wouldn't be a brilliant excuse for him not initiating anything, it
certainly shouldn't stop her. So what if he wasn't doing it? It would
just make her feel better about being the first one. Then she felt a
tingle in her body... Ok, maybe not directly talking, maybe she would
just try to look him in the eye without flinching, to work around him
more confidently and *then* talk to him- unless of course he takes
the hint and talks to her first. That made her feel better. Until the
next question hit her anyway: What if he doesn't want it? Well, she
thought with a smile, that would mean Helen's right, he's a jerk. She
sent a silent thank you to Helen, whose snoring Lindsay could hear
till her bedroom.

But something inside her whispered: He's in Pretty Love too. An
unintended smile escapes her and as she turns to switch off the
light, she catches a glimpse of the city beyond her window, which was
still open. She walked up to it pulled her knees up on the damp stool
beside it and looked out. All the roads, or as many as she could see,
were wet and the cars that went by splattered water every where like
tiny little bubbles. The sky was clear, with absolutely no clouds. It
was a beautiful deep blue, with silver, sparkly stars dotting it
endlessly like diamonds. It was so pretty, like hoping for a brighter
day the next day. Lindsay smiled again, Yep, she thought, weather
that matches you.

*In the end, it's the hope that's prettiest,
Whether it crashes down or soars high,
It's the hope that's prettiest,
And it's the hope you have,
Coz you're in that thing you call Pretty Love.*

___________________________________________________________

Wow, you made it till here? I'm impressed:) You know, I could just
end it right here, it sorta makes sense with the title, although I
initially thought about doing it till the end and giving you a happy
lil romantic ending:) Lemme know if you want me to continue, coz then
I will....
Thanks for reading!
-Sahiti

Title: Pretty Love - Part 2

Author: Sahiti

Summary: I can't sleep. It's raining and the weather is beautiful.
Just inspired me to write this fluff piece. Its about B/L, this part
is about Bobby- they aren't a couple yet, and its just one more story
about how they get together... its set before the Pearson trial...
its kinda really long, and, well, fluffy.

Part 2: Bobby's turned psycho. Nah, you'll agree with me when you've
finished reading it... oh and it's on the same rainy day that the
last part took place and this is only about Bobby...

Author's Note: i know i should've edited this, but Livvy convinced me
otherwise, so if you hate it, you know she's to blame.... (there u go
Livvy, now dont sue me)

Disclaimer: Not my characters. Belong to DEK and 20th Century Fox.
The songs I use are both by Scorpions - "Lady Starlight" and "No One
Like You"- I gain nothing from using them- except for some nice
feedback which will make all this worth it:)- so don't sue me.

Feedback: all i'll say is, please be gentle, i bruise easy..... i can
take construtive critisism though.... ok, now read:)

__________________________

Bobby stared at the rain splashing on his car window. It was brutally
cold, and the damned heater wasn't working. *And* his car was stuck
in a bumper-to-bumper traffic. Some drunk idiot had crashed his Jag
into a truck, and there was no way Bobby could turn back and go as he
was on a one-way road and for miles ahead, he could see nothing but
vehicles. It can not get worse than this, he thought stressing on
each word distinctly, cursing under his breath.

The sounds of the raindrops were soothing... like a rhythmic dirge...
he had always loved it. But not like this, in his CAR! He would much
rather be on his couch right now. With nothing else to do, Bobby
tuned the radio station to his favorite station and smiled in
recognition as 'Lady Starlight' by the Scorpions began to play. As he
heard the lyrics, he began to realise just how close they were to his
life right now. He stared ahead, at nothing particularly, but
listening to the song with a slight frown on his face.

Walking through a rainy night,
Counting the stars
And passing time,
I dream about the summer days,
Love in the sun
And lonely bays
I see the stars,
They're miles and miles away,
Like our love,
On one of these lonely rainy nights.

Dreaming through a rainy night,
Memories of you
Are passing by
It seems to me like yesterday,
I think you knew I couldn't stay
I see the stars; they're miles and miles away,
Like our love, Lady Starlight,
Help me to find my love
Lady Starlight help me tonight,
Help me to find my love.

Walking through a rainy night,
Counting the stars
And passing the time
Rain dances with the wind
I wish, I could be, with you again
I see the stars; they're miles and miles away,
Like our love, Lady Starlight,
Help me to find my love,
Lady Starlight, help me tonight,
Help me to find my love.

Lady Starlight, help me tonight,
Help me to find my love.

Bobby felt his mouth go dry. His tongue felt awfully thick, he
*really* didn't need to hear that song. Not now anyway. He tried to
stop himself from thinking...... but thought anyway. Thought about
the woman he might as well beg Lady Starlight to help him with. About-
--

Bobby drove his car forward to close in the few inches that had
cleared up ahead of him. He quite literally lied to himself by
pushing down what he was feeling, by concentrating on the trails of
water left by the rain on his windows, watching them slither down
onto the bonnet. That was one thing about himself that he felt
thankful about right now- he was very easily distracted. VERY easily.

Or so he thought.

As he continued to watch the rain, his mind began to fill with
pictures that he just couldn't push away. They were taking their own
form, out of his control, taunting him with their independence......

~~ He saw himself trying to look at a person standing on the other
side of the thick sheet of rain. He narrowed his eyes in
concentration, trying to put a face to the figure he could see. Not
that he could see much anyway. He was certain that it was a woman and
she was wearing white. All white. There was a blot of pink- or was it
red?- in the middle, although he couldn't make out what it was. He
could hear his name being called out, slowly, and softly, like it was
coming from far, far away. He tried to walk through, to reach her and
answer her... but he couldn't. He turned back to see what was keeping
him from reaching out to her. He saw...... a priest. He was looking
down at a book he held in his hands. Bobby looked at it in confusion-
it was a Bible. He turned again at the figure across rain. He looked
back and forth and then looked at himself. He was wearing a tux...
finally he understood. He was getting married. But he still couldn't
understand why it was raining in a church! So he looked up and water
inadvertently blocked his view from whatever it was that he wasn't
able to see. One thing he knew for certain...... he was confused,
bloody thoroughly confused. And, slowly as if light was dawning on
him, his bride was walking toward him, down the aisle. He smiled
unconsciously... she was almost there- just a few more steps and he
could see her face, hold her hand, and give himself up to her......
He waited breathlessly... She came nearer, and though he couldn't
make out her features yet, he could see her hair- a glowing sandy
blonde. The sandy blonde hair he knew so well, which he had so often
ached to sweep away from her forehead; the hair which framed the face
he knew he wanted to hold in his hands...~~

Bobby was startled out of his reverie by the loud honking from the
BMW behind him. It took him a moment to clear his mind and start
driving, choosing to ignore the words being hurtled at him from the
people behind. But as he finally got out of the God-awful traffic, he
couldn't help but curse at BMW-guy. He couldn't even touch his bride!
And as soon as he thought that, he cursed out loud, "Who the hell
talks like that??" And just as soon, got an (again) uncontrolled
response- Someone who's GONE, someone who's a love-sick moron...

He seriously didn't need this.

He wondered if he could mentally shake himself him- as ridiculous as
it sounded (atleast to him), it would be nice not to have to go
through this. But he couldn't hold himself any longer... He could
just get it out of his system, couldn't he?

So he did.

"Lindsay," he breathed out in a soft note.

It was as though the name was a substitute for 'Open sesame'-
everything that he had tried so hard to control were pouring out of
him, rushing out and overwhelming him. If he thought he was out of
control before, now he was truly gone... But this time he didn't try
any smart-ass stuff... he just lived in the moment, *for* the moment
really, because this was all too precious to let go of, and he
finally admitted to it. Admitted to just how much he wanted her. If
it could be, he'd say his testosterone had found a one-way direction
to just one woman, and that, of course, was Lindsay. And as he
thought about it, he realised it was true, even if it could or could
not be. This woman had changed his life. Not in a complete 180 degree
turn kind of way, but in the way where he couldn't seem to look at
another woman without feeling like he was betraying Lindsay (and
himself); in the way his toes curled up and his pulse raced when she
was anywhere in a meter radius around him; or the way his breath
quickened and his heart thudded loud enough to break his ribs when
she was standing *really* close to him in those wonderful (admittedly
looked forward to) moments in a crowded lift...

Hell, he was in love.

And she loved him too. She had told him. And the only reason he
couldn't bring himself to say it back was because he was such a
*wuss*. He was terrified of the possibility that if he committed
himself to her, he would lose her. It was the only reason he was
completely dumb when she was around. The reason he never looked
straight into her eyes anymore, and if he absolutely had to, he would
stare at the bridge of her nose (which he would admit to finding
incredibly sexy if only he didn't think people would call him a
pervert) but somehow, he knew Lindsay didn't buy it. She was smarter
than that. She was smart enough to realise everything he was doing in
order to avoid confronting her. He knew she was waiting for a
response, and what had he done? Nada, zilch, zippo. He reasoned with
himself saying that this way, there was always the hope that he could
have her. He could fantasize ridiculously like he had today. He could
get sworn at by BMW-guys, who he could curse back at for not letting
him touch her *even* in his dream. Always the damned hope that it
*could* happen...

"Only it never will," he said out loud as he parked his car in his
driveway. He hadn't expected it and so was surprised when that one
sentence cut through him with laser-like precision, like ice. It hurt
him like he couldn't imagine. And it scared him.

Ignoring the water drops that stained his jacket as he got out and
stood there in the rain, he looked around him- for the first time, he
*looked*.

Empty house. Alone as hell. Dark, boring, solemn... Lonely.

Then he closed his eyes. And almost as if he was expected to close
them, his mind slipped into itself, breaking into his fantasy once
again- just where he had left it- Lindsay. All white. Red flowers.
Vows. Rings. Kiss.

Bliss. Pure untroubled bliss.

He was beyond gone...... And for once, didn't mind it.

Before anyone could see him looking like he needed a tranquilizer
(not that he cared really), Bobby hurried into his apartment. If
anyone needed any evidence that he leaded a pathetically lonely life,
all they needed to see was this. He sighed as he looked at the stark
neatness of his apartment. It was like no body even lived there...
like something out of a museum. It desperately cried out for some
signs of life, silly as it sounds.

His mind was still a jumble of emotions that were crashing into each
other, making no sense whatsoever, but giving him a crystal clear
image of the life that was in store for him...

Bobby stared at the nothingness that stretched across him. And that's
all he could see right now. Nothing.

And in that single frozen (even frightening) image, he knew what he
had to do. He wanted Lindsay. He *needed* Lindsay.

And he sure as hell was going to do something about it.

Coz, simply put, Bobby thought, there's just no one like her. And
even if there was, he knew they wouldn't be able to do what she did
to him. He sighed in satisfaction as he put in a Scorpions CD into
the CD player, and the music filled the room. And as the lyrics once
again filled him, he realised his life wasn't really all that bad...

Girl, its been a long time
That we've been apart
Much too long for a man
Who needs love,
I miss you since I've been away
Babe, it wasn't easy
To leave you alone
It's getting harder each time that I go,
If I had a choice, I would stay.

There's no one like you.
I can't wait for the night with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you,
No one like you
I can't wait for the night with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you

Girl, there are really no words
Strong enough
To describe all my longing for love
I don't want my feeling restrained
Ooh, babe, I just need you like never before
Just imagine you'd come through this door
You'd take all my sorrow away

There's no one like you
I can't wait for the night with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you
No one like you
I can't wait for the night with you
I imagine the things we'll do
I just wanna be loved by you.

No one like you.

*

Bobby was grinning like an idiot now, he just couldn't help it. He
could almost feel every cell in his body bouncing up and down... and
he was sure he looked like a ten-year-old kid with a crush on his
teacher.

And for no reason but for that, he remembered what Helen had told him
when they were dating- Lindsay and Helen used to call this... he
racked his mind to come up with the words... he did, however,
remember that it had sounded very silly...

Yeah, he thought grinning, they called it.... Pretty Love.

And suddenly, he *really* wanted to thank the drunk idiot who crashed
his Jaguar into the truck.

______________________

We-ll??? Whaddya think? ....... That horrible huh? Yeah, I can
understand... it sucked, and I told ya, Bobby's psycho, you should've
listened to me... I could still end it right here, will still make
sense, but whether or not I continue this depends on feedback, so
please tell me if you want me to write more.
Thanks for reading!
-Sahiti