Tittle: the star of christmas Author: Michal, hashavit@research.haifa.ac.il Author's note: this is my response to Tracy's challenge. All you have to know is that this is set after the first season (nor Helen or Lucy exist yet, although I love them). I know christmas isn't my holiday, but it's B&L's so I just hope you'll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it! Disclaimer: these beautiful characters aren't mine, they belong to the amazing DEK. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sure, mom, no, I understand, it's a crazy time during the holidays. Yeah, I know... it's my fault too, this case is taking up a lot of my time... sure, no problem. But hey, you and dad have a great time, call me when you get back ok? By, love you..." Lindsay hung up the phone, feeling disappointed. This year she wasn't coming home for the holidays. She missed that time with her family. She was so caught up with work she forgot about feeling happy. Lindsay looked at her tree with the decorations on the side which she didn't got around to hang. Suddenly, she felt longing and sadness, her eyes became filled with tears when the door bell rang. Lindsay got up to open the door. Bobby stood there, smiling. "Merry Christmas" "Hwy. I thought you were working late" Lindsay tried to sound casual and wiped her wet eyes. "I hate working late during the season of miracles" Bobby flashed his adorable smile again. "I guess it is a miracle if you stopped working" Lindsay smiled back "come in, you must be freezing" she stepped back to let him in. "Hey, what's wrong?" Bobby asked, noticing that something was wrong. "Nothing" Lindsay tried to avoid the question, still standing next to the door. "Feeling blue?" Bobby had that worried look. "Do we have to talk about this?" she asked, almost desperately. "No, we don't" Bobby raised his hand to stroke Lindsay's cheek and then her hair. "Good" she smiled a bit and then saw that passion in Bobby's eyes. He kissed her hard on the lips, dropping his briefcase, closing the door with his leg, wrapping his arms around her waist walking forward while Lindsay was walking backward until they managed to get to Lindsay's room and bed. Lindsay wanted to be taken away with his kisses, to feel him, and what ever it was she was feeling, Bobby helped her forget... --------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsay was sitting on her couch, drinking chocolate milk under the blanket. Bobby was in her bed. But she couldn't stay there with him. Lately, she has been thinking about their relationship. There were moments where she felt that they were connecting. Even the sex was so much more than sex. She felt love in the soft touch of Bobby's hands on her body. But the definition they gave their relationship or the "no strings attached" rule they made...broke her heart. Lindsay wasn't looking forward to the holidays, all it had installed for her was loneliness. Or so she thought. "hey, can I join you?" Lindsay looked back to see Bobby standing next to the couch. "sure you can" he sat next to her and covered himself with the blanket. "so...you want to tell me what's going on?" Bobby had this understanding look in his face. "nothing. it's just the holidays getting me down..." Lindsay raised her head from her warm cup and explained. "I'm not coming home for Christmas. My parents are going away on vacation and everybody else is too busy so... we've decided to pass this year" "oh." "what are you doing this Christmas?" "oh nothing much, the usual, lunch with my dad" "sounds nice" she sighed. "you know.. when I was a little girl my father let me hang up our family star...this decoration we used to put on the top of the tree and... we would put it up and wish what we wanted to happen that year... but I guess that's just a little girls game, that's over" as she kept talking, Lindsay felt her voice shaking with tears, and Bobby's warm hand on hers. He wiped her tears with his thumb, and then moved closer to kiss her softly on the lips. It wasn't that passionate kiss like before. It was the most sweet and tender kiss Lindsay has ever experienced...but then, like reality, Bobby's cell phone woke them up and Bobby reached to it and answered firmly "Bobby Donnell.. yeah Ellenor, sure. Right now? No that's ok. I was just on my way out anyway... ok, I'll see you back at the office" Lindsay felt disappointed. She knew Bobby had to lie on the telephone. But there was something in their kiss...she wanted to believe that they were a couple. Everyone of Bobby's actions has made believe that, but now she realized she was just fooling herself. "listen, I have to go. Ellenor needs me on the Whily case and Eugene is nowhere to be seen..." Bobby got up and quickly put his cloths on. "I'll see you later ok?" "sure" Lindsay forced a smile to Bobby. He leaned towards her and kissed her shortly on the lips. Before moving back he whispered "bye" and then hurried to the door. Lindsay just sat on the couch, staring at him as he left. "I love you" but Bobby was way gone... --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Bobby, I'm packing up, you need anything?" Rebecca pocked her head in Bobby's office before leaving. "no, that's ok, I'll see you tomorrow, I'm leaving anyway once I'll finish this" "leaving where?" Rebecca now looked curious and suspicious. "what? Home" Bobby got defensive. "a-ha, at six o'clock?" "what?" "I don't know Bobby, you seem different lately, happy... I might as well risk it and say in love" it was sort of a half question. "what are you talking about?" Bobby did his best to council the truth. "nothing, I didn't say a thing..." Rebecca just smiled and walked away, leaving Bobby to just stare at the door. Bobby was more confused than ever. Rebecca just said out loud what he has been trying to deny lately... to himself. Lindsay never seemed like she wanted to talk about that subject. It was almost as if she was trying to avoid a certain truth: The fact that neither of them felt happy with their current status. They both wanted more, but were too scared to admit it, and even more scared to talk about it. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsay got back at her apartment at around 7pm. She was exhausted. It was a long and hard day but it was worth it. She won her big case and was able to put behind her all of her thoughts. Lindsay threw her coat and briefcase on the chair beside the naked tree. She didn't even get the chance to sit back and relax before the doorbell rung. She opened it to discover Bobby. "hey" he just entered and kissed her quickly on the cheek. "I heard you deserve congratulations for the Robertson case" "yeah, I guess so" Lindsay kept smiling and moved closer to Bobby. "thanks" she wrapped her arms around his neck when he lifted her up and spinned her around himself. Lindsay laughed, and felt happy. When Bobby stopped spinning her she was hugging him tightly. He kissed her. First softly while laying her on the couch, and then passionately as they began undressing each other. Lindsay felt how another situation between them became about sex, and as much as she loved feeling Bobby's body against hers she couldn't help but feel her heart being shattered into a million pieces. Suddenly, without really realizing it , with that exact fierce passion, she felt her sadness bring tears that broke free from her eyes. "Bobby, no... stop it..."Lindsay stopped him , almost begging , or crying. Bobby stopped kissing her and removed his hand from underneath her blouse to discover her painful look. "Lindsay, what's the matter?" Bobby asked, totally oblivious, yet concerned for her. "I don't want to do this anymore, Bobby" Lindsay tried to sit back, as did Bobby, and closed the buttons of her blouse. "Lindsay, I'm really not getting what's going on in here" Bobby tried to make sense of what was happening. "what's going on in here is that I'm sick of what we're doing here. don't get me wrong Bobby, the sex is great but I need more than that... and I can't do this anymore!" Lindsay got up from the couch, not being the only one surprised by her words. Bobby was in total shock, and as usual, being in a state like that made him speechless. That minute his feelings were spoken out by somebody else, allowing him to face it, but still not admitting it to himself, or right now- to Lindsay. "Lindsay, I.. I don't know what to say..." Bobby tried at least get out any words he was able to say. But that made it worse. "that's ok Bobby. You've made it clear where you stand. Now we both know." Lindsay looked deeply hurt, but her pride wasn't allowing her tears to break free from her eyes again. She turned to her bedroom but Bobby grabbed her in his arms "no, Lindsay, you're not walking away from this!" "Bobby leave me alone!" Lindsay couldn't help the tears that were now striking down her cheeks. "leave me alone!" she yelled and went to her bedroom, slamming the door and collapsing on her bed in tears. Bobby hated to feel like this. His lover, his LOVE was in her room, crying over him. He felt frustrated for keeping his feelings bottled up inside. In a way he felt relieved to know Lindsay felt the same way. But how was he going to tell her his real feelings? --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Lindsay, you're late" "I know, I'm sorry. I got caught up at the courthouse. That DA Michael won't leave me alone" "well maybe you should just say yes to a date already" "Rebecca..." Lindsay gave her a warning look and then smiled. She just got back from the courthouse and was late to the Christmas party at the office. Everybody was in there. Including Bobby who was talking to Eugene , but kept stealing glances at her. Lindsay went to talk to Ellenor and Rebecca about the case she had won, and everybody was so proud of her. It made her feel a little better. "hey, Lindsay can I talk to you for a second?" Bobby almost sneaked behind her. "sure, talk." Lindsay tried to sound as indifferent as possible, especially since all their friends were in there. "in private?" "hmm" Lindsay bit her lower lip, trying to decide. But she didn't get the choice to do that. Ellenor came up smiling. "oh Lindsay, there's somebody here for you.." she had that teasing tone. "who?" Lindsay had no idea. She turned around to see Michael talking to Rebecca and then, looking at her. "Michael, hey" Lindsay felt a bit uncomfortable. "what are you doing here?" "oh, I just came by to wish you a merry Christmas since you said no to a date" he was trying his best to charm her when he came up to her and kissed her on the cheek. Bobby stood on the side, watching them, getting ticked off. He couldn't believe he was jealous. Although he knew this was about to happen if he doesn't tell her how he feels. After all, "no strings attached" they made that rule together. "hey Bobby, here's your beer" Jimmy came up to Bobby and started talking to him. Bobby tried to focus on their conversation but couldn't help but looking over Jimmy's shoulder to see Lindsay talking to Michael. He was whispering something to her ear and she began to laugh. Bobby felt good to see her laugh, but he felt bad that he wasn't the one making her laugh... He was the one making her cry, and that most of all broke his heart. The moment he saw the two of them leave the office he followed to see what was happening. Bobby saw that Lindsay was just walking him out to the elevator. He looked outside to see them but Rebecca was blocking him. "Bobby! Will you leave those two love birds alone" she smiled but he looked dead serious, or more accurately furious. When Lindsay got back to the office and closed the door, she saw Bobby standing near her desk. She just stood next to the door staring at him. Their locked gazes were loved, but sad. "can we talk now?" Bobby said quietly, looking at her, wishing that she'll say yes. "well, what did he tell you?" Ellenor and Rebecca interrupted looking at Lindsay with anticipation. Bobby lowered his head, surely felt he was missing yet another opportunity with Lindsay. "hmm, listen, I'll talk to you in ten minutes ok? I need something from Bobby's office" Bobby now raised his head with a smile on his face, walking to his office after Lindsay. After Lindsay got in, he also entered and closed the door, leaning on it, looking deep into her eyes. "so... did this guy asked you out?" he asked. "yes" Lindsay nodded, trying to read his expression. "did you say yes?" Bobby gazed at her eyes, almost afraid to hear the answer. "no" Lindsay stated simply. Bobby couldn't help but sigh with relief. "good" "excuse me?" "good. I don't want you going out with anybody else but me" "but we're not going out Bobby, remember?" "NO" "what?" Lindsay didn't understand. "Lindsay, I want you to be my date. Tonight. It's Christmas Eve and I want to spend it with you...will you let me?" "a date?" "yeah. I'm sure you remember the concept. Y'know, two people enjoying each other's company... you want to try it?" "ok" Lindsay smiled. "dinner at my place?" "sure. We'll cook it together." Bobby regained his smile, glad to see hers too. "fine but watch out Donnell I'm a great cook" "we'll just see about that" "oh yeah?" Lindsay grinned at the challenge. "come on, let's go out there, everybody wants to know what happened with Michael" she began to walk towards the door. "just tell them you got a better offer" Bobby kissed Lindsay's cheek and opened the door "after you" Lindsay smiled at that and got out. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "this is the last time I'm letting you into my kitchen" Lindsay laughed at Bobby as he tried to cook some pasta. "come on, Lindsay, this is a Christmas Eve dinner a-la Donnell" "yeah, pasta and fudge" "well, I've always told you I'm original" "yeah, you have". Bobby and Lindsay spent together Christmas Eve. Eating pasta, talking, laughing near the fireplace, and decorating Lindsay's tree together. "I can't believe you've waited so long to decorate your tree" "me neither. I guess I wasn't in the spirit of the holidays" "and now?" Bobby glanced at Lindsay. "now, with you?" she raised her head and smiled with joy. "yes." "hold that thought" Bobby got up and went to take something from his jacket. He stopped and looked at Lindsay, sitting peacefully, finally decorating her tree. 'I love her' he thought to himself. As he walked quietly behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her long neck. Lindsay looked at the little box he held. "what's that?" she turned to him as they were both sitting on her carpet cuddled up next to her tree. "this is for you" "well, what is it?" Lindsay felt so excited and opened the box. Inside she saw the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. "Bobby..." "Lindsay. This is our special star. And every Christmas we'll put it on our tree and make our own wish for the New Year" Lindsay was shocked and happy. "so? What is you wish?" she asked, both of them holding the star. "I wish that every Christmas from now on, we'll spend together" a tear of happiness slid on Lindsay's cheek as she got up and put the star on the top of the tree. "come on, turn on the light" Lindsay closed all the lights and turned the light of the tree. She and Bobby stood up, looking at the tree, at their star. Lindsay turned to Bobby and wrapped her arms around his neck. "merry Christmas Bobby" she moved close to kiss him a long sweet kiss. "merry Christmas Lindsay, I love you" Bobby laid her on the couch and kissed her tenderly. "I love you too Bobby" Lindsay looked deep into his eyes and as the clock rang midnight she whispered to his ear "make love to me" "I thought you'd never ask" Bobby smiled and let them drown in their passion, desire...and love. Merry Christmas! THE END. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I'd love to hear (in our case read) what you think! please e mail me...Michal. ---------------------------------------------------------------------