Title: The Choice part 1 Author: Allison M Dexter Here is a fanfic that I have been writing. It is not finished yet. All of the legal stuff about this being David Kelley's show and the characters are his. SO here it is. Love to hear your opinions. Thanks Allison -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Thank you, Ms. Dole. I didn't think that I could get away with it." "Get away with what. You didn't do anything." "You mean that you actually believed me." "What do you mean? Believed you, you are my client, you are innocent." "Wow, you really are virginal. You thought that I was innocent. I didn't think that I was that good." "Wait you mean you did stab that woman!" "Of course I did. Do you know what it feels like to tear through someone's flesh? Ripping the skin apart." "You killed her." "Yes, I killed her. Thank you for getting me off. Now if I could return the favor." Lindsay looked down at her client's hands; he was holding a knife. The next thing she knew, he was stabbing her. The heat rushed through her chest. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Lindsay jumped up. The sudden movement caused her stitches to stretch. The pain caused her to fall back to her pillow. Bobby opened his eyes slightly and mumbled something and then wrapped his arm around her. She knew that he was still asleep. He always slept through her dreams. But he always did try to calm her in his dreams. Lindsay laid back and tried to remember the dream. It was the same dream that she had since she left the hospital. It was always the same, she defended some client who wasn't innocent and then he stabs her. She never sees his face, only his hands. It had been two weeks since she had been released from the hospital. She still hadn't gone back to work yet. Her doctor had advised her to take a month off. She wanted to be completely sure that Lindsay had healed correctly. That advice hadn't stopped Bobby and her from making love. Actually, the first night that she came home they had made love. Lindsay was amazed with how gentle he had been. She loved him for that night. He had made her feel loved and needed. But she was most amazed with how he treated her stitches. He made her feel beautiful. They hadn't told anyone about the engagement. Bobby said that he wanted to relish the feeling, their secret. He didn't want to deal with any of the complications yet, mainly the firm. Lindsay actually wondered how they would react. She knew that they were used to the idea of them as a couple, but as a married couple she wasn't so sure. She knew that there would be a couple of objections. However, none of them would be aired, only mumbled when Lindsay left the room. The thought of going back to work actually hadn't occurred to her in a while. She had gotten use to not going. She avoided the office at all costs. She was scared of the emotions that were in that room. She didn't know if she could do it anymore. If she could stomach defending them. Not anymore, not since the attack. She had never really dealt with the attack. Perhaps because the life that she was living was completely different from the world she was living before it. Most of that difference revolved around her work. Not going in allowed her to act like nothing had happened, the stitches were the only reminder and even they were disappearing. She was now living at Bobby's. Before she had been released they had discussed where she should live while she was recovering and they decided that his place would be more comfortable. Plus it was more comfortable for Bobby to not have Helen living in the next room. He was still a little annoyed about the proposal. So Bobby had moved a lot of her stuff to his place. Ever since she had been home, he came home at 5:00 everyday. He had even taken some days off to be with her. She now is making dinner every night for the two of them. Her life had become so domestic and the weird thing was that she really didn't mind. It' not that she didn't want to work anymore, because she did. She was getting antsy being at home. But she didn't really want to go back to defense work. Now this was something that she hadn't told Bobby. She had talked to Helen though and she suggested that Lindsay should probably wait awhile until she talked to Bobby. The problem was that Lindsay was fairly sure that she didn't want to return to the firm. She knew that it would crush Bobby though. It would be like she was rejecting him. "Penny for your thoughts." Bobby muttered. He had been staring at her for awhile, but she hadn't noticed. "Just thinking." Lindsay smiled and turned to look at this man who lay next to her. "Did you have another bad dream?" Bobby asked trying to look concerned, but the sleepiness was muting his facial expressions. "Yeah, same dream." "Do you want to talk about it?" "No, I just want you to hold me." "I think that I can manage that." Bobby rolled over and brought Lindsay with him. Instead of him being rapt in her, she was now wrapped in his embrace. "What time is it?" Lindsay turned her head to look at the clock, "6:00" "Another forty-five minutes of sleep, not enough time to actually fall back asleep though." "I'm sorry for waking you up." "Don't be sorry. There is plenty of other things that we could do." Bobby looked at her in that way that he always did when he wanted to become intimate. The problem was that intimacy was the last thought on Lindsay's mind. "Do you think that we could just talk for a while? My stomach doesn't really feel good today." It wasn't a complete lie. Her stomach did hurt her. "What do you want to talk about?" "I don't know. Do you have court today?" "No, I just have meetings with some clients. You have your doctor's appointment today right?" "Yeah, she just wants to go over some test results with me. Nothing major." "Do you want me to tag along?" "No need." "Okay. Wait, I know what we could talk about." "What?" "A date." "A date?" "When do you want to get married Ms. Dole?" "Oh that date. Don't you think we should decide where we want to get married and what season first of all." "That could be helpful. But could I make a small suggestion, which you are free to veto. I kinda of thought that it would be nice if Patrick could marry us. Which would mean that we would have to get married in the church." "But Bobby, I'm not Catholic, so we couldn't have a Catholic wedding. Do you think Patrick would still marry us?" "I think for you and me, he would bend the rules. I think that he likes you." "Thanks. But we should see first. So with that decided, what time of year should we choose?" "Doesn't that depend on what kind of a wedding we want and how many people etc.?" "Look at this aren't we indecisive." "So maybe we should go at this at a different angle. What would be your dream wedding?" "My dream wedding?" Lindsay smiled. "Yes, your dream wedding. When you were a little girl with ponytails, what was your dream wedding?" "A little girl in ponytails you're serious, right? Okay, the truth is that I never really thought much about it. I mostly thought about actually being married, not the wedding." "So you never dreamed of walking down the aisle?" "No, not really. I guess I just wanted my family and friends, but nothing fancy." "Nothing fancy. That would say to me that you want a small wedding with family and friends." "Yeah, more like a celebration of our marriage." "I like the sound of that." Bobby looked at his fiancée and smiled. "You know how happy I am right now. I am here talking to this woman about our wedding. I am getting married to you and I never thought that I would say that. When I was little, I never believed that I could ever be as happy as my parents were, but now I am." "I'm glad." "Are you happy?" "Of course, I'm happy." "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am happy. Why do you think that I am unhappy?" "No, actually I have to admit you have been confusing me lately. Ever since you came home from the hospital you have been happy. But I guess I just expected you to want to get back to work as soon as possible. But you haven't. In fact it seems like you are trying to avoid going back to work. Why?" "I haven't been avoiding it. I don't know Bobby. You're right, I mean I don't really want to go back to work. I have no desire to defend them. I don't know if I can anymore. Bobby, I was one of their victims. I just don't think that I can, not anymore" "Lindsay, you have been through a lot. Maybe you should take more time off. Maybe it's too soon for you to think about working." "Okay, I will give it some more time. Helen suggested that I should do that anyway." "You talked to Helen about this?" "Yeah, I thought that she might be a little more objective than my boss." "Your boss, huh. I think that I like the sounds of that." "Cute." And with that Bobby tickled her. Lindsay giggled. She hated being tickled and Bobby knew that. He also knew that she usually tried to stop him and that usually led to other things. And as was predicted Lindsay began fighting back until she was lying on top of him. He smiled slightly and the two began kissing. "You know my doctor thinks that we shouldn't make love for another week." "Oh she does." "Yeah, doctor's orders." "Then I guess she wouldn't be very happy with you, would she?" "No, I think that she would disapprove entirely about what we are doing." As Lindsay was saying this, the alarm went off. "But unfortunately, you need to pay the bills today." "You know how much I want to call in sick today." "Bobby, you can't keep calling in sick. I think Lucy is figuring it out." "It is still my firm. I can come in whenever I want." "Bobby." "Okay I will go, but can't I whine just a little more." Bobby pouted this last request. "No. You are a big boy and its time that you started acting like one." "Meany." Bobby answered back in his best child voice. He then proceeded to roll out of bed and walk into the bathroom. Lindsay heard the shower go on. She laid back in bed and smiled. She loved him and he loved her. But her smile did not last long. She wondered how she was going to tell him. He did not like the idea of her not working at the firm anymore. How could she tell him that she had already been offered another job? One of Anderson Pearson's friends from his firm called her, a week after she had gotten out. He had wanted to make sure that she was okay. Part of the call was on her professor's behalf. Meredith had sent her flowers, so she knew that he knew about the attack. But this guy also wanted to proposition her. He started talking about how much he admired her work and that she impressed everyone at his firm. He then said how highly Pearson used to talk about her. Then he sprung it. He told her that if she ever felt like leaving Bobby's firm and going to a bigger one, that she always had a place here. Not only was he offering her a job, but also he assured her that she would make partner within three years. The talk had enticed her a little and so she agreed to have lunch with him and other partners to discuss the offer further. She felt like she was betraying Bobby during the whole lunch. But she had to admit they offered her quite a package. Twice as much money as she made plus a lot of extra benefits that were cushy. 9 to 5 office hours. They paid for one-year maternity leave plus they paid for daycare. The health insurance package was amazing and then there was the 401K. If she took this job she would be bringing in more money then Bobby and doing a lot less work than she did now. She would actually have time for a family. She wanted to take this job. But the problem was Bobby. His life is the firm and part of their relationship is that she is also a part of the firm. But the couple thing had been so difficult with the firm and she knew that everyone else would not look kindly about Bobby and Lindsay tying the knot. She knew that her leaving would be a good thing for both the firm and herself. But the problem was in trying to tell Bobby this and whether it would be the best thing for their relationship. At that thought she heard the shower turn off. Lindsay got up to go and make some coffee. Time for their morning ritual. -------------------------------------------------------------------- End part one --to be continued--- -------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Title: The Choice part 2 Author: Allison M Dexter Disclaimer: The concept of 'The Practice' and its characters belong to David E. Kelley, 20th FOX and ABC. This story and the non-Practice characters belong to their author. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Bobby sat in his office writing a deposition. Although he was working, his mind wasn't really all there. He kept thinking about the conversation that they had. It makes sense that she would be hesitant about going back to work, but he never thought that she would actually want to leave. He also didn't understand why he was so hurt that she would want to leave. She was the reason that the firm had become partners. Lindsay kept everyone going. Okay maybe he was exaggerating a little, but she definitely kept him going. In fact, the office had seemed so weird without her. He had gotten used to waking up with her and then working all day together. She was right, that he had trouble pulling her out of her job. Maybe if she was working for another firm, their relationship would be healthier. However, it all came down to the simple fact that he would miss her. He did miss her. And it was becoming a distraction. Bobby shook his head and pulled himself out of where ever he was and tried to focus on the papers that were in front of him. He really needed to get this done today. Someone knocked on his door, Bobby yelled come in. He was frustrated. He couldn't concentrate anymore and now someone wants to see him. "Well you're in a good mood." Lindsay said as she opened up Bobby's office door. "Lindsay!" Bobby almost jumped out of his chair. He was so shocked to see her. "I didn't know that you were coming. Why didn't you call?" Bobby rushed over and hugged her. "It is good to see you." Bobby had been so excited that he had forgotten that this was her first time back in the office since the attack. He noticed that she looked very pale. "Come and sit down." He guided her towards the couch and sat down. "I just thought that I would come by and say hi." Lindsay smiled. "Hi." Bobby said quietly. "How does it feel?" "I'm fine. It's just an office, right." "Just an office. But this is also the first time you have been back to this office since you were" Bobby always had a problem finishing that sentence. "Since I was stabbed. Yeah I know and I kind of made a beeline for your office. I knew that you would protect me." "Yep, that's my job. And no ones going to do anything to you on my watch." "That's good to know." "You had your doctor's appointment, right?" "Yeah." "How did it go?" "Well she says that I am healing remarkably quickly. Actually she is amazed at much energy I have. She did run some tests though. She was a little concerned about my stomachaches. My blood pressure is still low, though." "I didn't know that your stomach was bothering you that much?" "It's just been sensitive lately, that's all. You know Dr. Fitzpatrick, she likes to be thorough." "So anything else?" "Nope, like I said she thinks that I am healing well. How are you?" "Still working on the Mackinzie's deposition. I just don't seem to be able to do much work today. You know I was thinking, since you are here and everyone is in the office that maybe we should make our little announcement." "I don't know Bobby. I mean it took a lot out of me just coming here, I don't know if I have the energy left today." "Okay. That is fine, I just was thinking . . . I guess I wanted you to know that I do want to tell people. I am not hiding or anything." "I never thought that you were hiding from anything." "Good because I am not. It is so good to have you here. You don't how weird this office feels without you." "Um, Bobby, do you think that we could talk about that a little tonight." "Talk about what?" "About me and this office. I really have been thinking about it a lot." "You have?" "Yeah and there are some things that I think we should discuss." "I am not going to like this discussion very much, am I." "No, I didn't say that. What I said is that we need to discuss it. Okay?" "Okay." "Good, now I think that I should let you get back to your work." "Yeah, I do need to finish that deposition." "Okay, well I will see you tonight." Lindsay got up and Bobby walked her out of the office and went with her to the car. "You didn't need to walk me out." "Of course, I did you are still on my watch." Lindsay laughed. "Besides it gives me an excuse to do this." Bobby leaned over and kissed her. "I like that." "Me to." "Well then thanks for walking me out and I will see you at home." "Okay, drive safe." Bobby stood there and watched Lindsay pull away. Good, so we are going to discuss it tonight, Lindsay thought. She was so sick of hiding this from him. She was tired of hiding a lot of things from him. Like every time she gets tired when he is home. Or when she stretches wrong and it hurts. She never tells him about her nightmares or how often she has them. He gets too worried. God, she thought, I have already become my mother. She also didn't tell him about what the blood test that she took today was. She knew he wasn't ready for that, so its better not to worry him until she knows that there is a reason. "You did what!" Bobby yelled. The conversation had not gone very well and it had turned into more of an argument than anything had. "Bobby, it was just a meeting." "No, it wasn't just a meeting, you had an interview with another firm. You had an interview and I knew nothing about." "I knew you would be upset." "That's an understatement." "Plus I just wanted to see what they would offer." "And what did they offer Lindsay." Bobby's tone had gone from surprise anger to a bitter kind of anger. "Don't talk to me like that." This was the first time that Lindsay had raised her voice. "No, I really want to know what they offered you." "Bobby, it wasn't a challenge. I don't know if I can defend them anymore. I didn't know if I could in the beginning and do you remember that I told you that when you interviewed me. You told to give it a few years. Well I have given it a few years and I have defended drug dealers and murders. I have gotten so many people off; it's a wonder that I can go to sleep at night. And I did like it, most of the time. But then a client attacked me. And I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't think my heart is into it anymore." "Well if your heart isn't there, then why stay?" "Bobby this isn't about you." "It's about what I do." "No, it's about what I do and you are not listening to me. My heart is in the firm. My heart is with you. But I don't think my heart is into defending murderers anymore." "So you just give up and go to some cushy job at a big firm and try civil cases for the rest of your life." "I am not giving up." "But isn't that what you always wanted. You always wanted to be in that office and I was just your stepping stone." "You were not a stepping stone and you are not listening to me. This is not about you." "Of course it is about me. This is my firm and you want to leave it." "No, it is a firm that I am thinking about leaving, not your firm. Don't you understand?" "I understand perfectly." "You are not listening. I can't talk to you when you are like this." "Good because frankly I am sick of hearing." "Bobby, do you hear yourself? Do you know what you sound like? It is not about you, it is about me. It is about my career and my life, not our life." "You know this is very telling about our future." "What do you mean?" "This is about our life." "I can't talk to you anymore." And with that Lindsay left in tears. She decided that she needed to get away. She ended up driving for hours. Finally she decided that she should go back and stay with Helen. "He called." Helen said as she opened the door for her friend. "Did you tell him anything?" "I told him that I didn't know where you were and I will continue to say that until you tell me differently." "You should have seen him." Lindsay broke down. "You knew that he was going to react that way." "I thought that I could reason with him. I thought that he would understand." "Lindsay, you know that Bobby Donnell can't separate his career from his life." "This sounds like a speech I would have given you." "So his faults are haunting us. But I remember at one time, when you found his devotion incredibly sexy." "I still do." This made Lindsay laugh a little and Helen was satisfied that she could cheer her up at least a little bit. "You didn't tell him about the other" "No. I didn't even get a chance." "Didn't the test come through quickly?" "The doctor said that she rushed it." "So what did she tell you?" "She wants me to come in tomorrow and discuss my options. Helen she doesn't think that my body can handle this." Lindsay looked up at her friend, whose eyes were full of concern, now if only Bobby's eyes could look like that. For the first time in Lindsay's life she was really scared about losing it. She was scared that she might just lose everything. "You need to tell Bobby." "I know." -------------------------------------------------------------------- End part two