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Lincoln Live Music: Alright, since I've never met any of you before, could you all tell me your names and what instruments you play.
Brad: ees thhat onn?
LLM: Oh, yeah.
Josh: Does it work this time?
LLM: It works!
Dave: I don't remember what I play right now, but I play it a hell of a lot better than you play that fucking interview recorder.
(laughter)
Theron: Well what's your name?
Dave: My name's Dave "The American Dream" and I play the drums.
(lighter sparking)
Brad: I p-p-play the respatary sole, the respitiry vakume, and my name's Baddlee.
Theron: I'm Groady. I play the 4 string thunder-broom.
Greg: They used to call me Cindy, I changed my name to Sin.
(lighter sparking)
Theron: What do you play?
Greg: Guitars.
Dave: Rhythm/Lead
Josh: I'm Joshua James, all lead, just lots of leads, mostly leads, mostly.
Greg: Whenever possible.
Josh: Not enough lead.
Greg: Yeah, the next bunch of songs is going to be guitar solos at the beginning, middle and end.
LLM: What are your hometowns, and how did you end up in Lincoln?
Dave: That's a stupid question. But I came here for the ladies.
Brad: I kame heer frum Noorway, 2 a Tatu convenchun, and I deesidid to staa heer.
Theron: The Seven Gates of Hell...riding on Demon's wings...that's how I got here.
Greg: I was from Fargo, and I responded to an ad on the Internet, they wanted a guitar player, so I came down.
Josh: Um, where I'm from is really none of your fucking business, and it's all about where I'm going...and I came here on two donkeys, 'cause one died. I ate it.
Greg: I used it as a blanket.
LLM: What's your songwriting process like?
Josh: Fast.
Greg: Hard. It rules.
Theron: Fast. Hard.
LLM: Are there any songs you have that could break into the Billboard Top 10 soon?
Josh: All of them.
Greg: Are there any that we don't have?
LLM: Yes, that you don't have.
Josh: That is the real question.
Theron: We're answering your question with a question.
(evil laughter)
LLM: Do you have any favorite songs?
Dave: Midnight Ride to Nowhere...kicks ass!
Greg and Josh: Fire to Kill.
Dave: I always like Axes to the Sky. The new one, Chimney Rock is a heck of a fucking song, really.
Josh: I like Opus.
Dave: I've always liked Bit Through and Devoured.
Brad: Yip, yup, awl ov thim.
Josh: I think the next song we're going to write is my favorite.
Greg: Yeah, it's always the next one.
LLM: What bands or musicians most influenced the songwriting style?
(phone rings)
Theron: I got a call I have to take.
Greg: Excuse him while he takes his call.
Dave: Most of our songs are direct rip-offs of Yes songs...er...homages, homages to Yes songs.
Greg: I owe all of my speed metal prowess to Ralph Stanley, actually.
LLM: What can we expect from the new album, how many songs will there be? Is it just on CD?
Greg: Anywhere from 7-10 (songs), anywhere from tape to CD, anywhere from 20-40 minutes, anywhere from now to a year from now.
Josh: Well put!
Brad: I ugreeee.
LLM: How is the recording process for your debut CD coming along?
Greg: Fast.
Dave: Hard.
Josh: Fast and hard.
Brad: Heveee.
LLM: How's Scott treating you, is he good to work with?
Dave: Scott is an amazing musician, and because of that I think he really knows how to work with really, really amazing musicians like us. And his drug intake is close if not exceeding ours, which is always a plus.
Greg: It's good to be up to par.
Brad: Hees a rilly bigg wommaniser.
Greg: Yeah, he's got magic fingers, I can tell you that.
(coughing)
LLM: Should we wait for Theron?
Dave: I don't think so.
(break) (lighter sparking)
LLM: What's the artwork on your album like, and who designed it?
Greg: Brad you better handle this one.
Brad: Eye theenk aisle hand it offf 2 T-T-Theron.
Theron: Alright. Jeff Metal from Wasteoid's doing it. And let's put it this way...it will be the artwork to destroy all artwork. There's a theme to it.
LLM: What can we expect when you play live?
Josh: Buy us a beer.
Dave: That's what we expect at live shows, people buying us beers.
Theron: Shots.
Greg: It's all about buying us shots and beer.
Theron: No fishbowls.
LLM: No cover songs ever?
Theron: Yeah, we're going to do some covers here. Just throw it in the mix, you know.
(coughing)
LLM: Out of all of the shows you've played, which is a memorable one?
(lighter sparking)
Greg: The next one.
Dave: You know what they say about shows...if you remember them, they weren't that memorable.
(everyone agrees)
(lighter sparking)
LLM: Any plans of a tour? When, where, with whom?
Dave: I'll let Brad handle this one.
Brad: We're goeeng on twoer layter thees summmmmer, verree soon, weer go-eng to pLaa wit sum kik-aass deth metul banneds and trashe somme hotil ruums.
(lighter sparking)
Theron: Yeah, late August. Minneapolis, Des Moines, Lawrence, KC.
Dave: Maybe KC, if we have enough time.
Brad: I tought weer plaaing Havannah.
Dave: Yes, Havana!
(lighter sparking)
LLM: Are you guys swimming over?
Brad: Tak dis buss 2 Kuba!
(lighter sparking)
LLM: What is the Axes to the Sky official food or beverage?
Theron: Beer.
Greg: Juice.
Greg: Oh, oh. Sauce!
Brad: Saace...nething Gesus tellz uss knot 2oo consoom.
Greg: And narcotics in general.
Theron: And narcotics.
Greg: Anything we can find that day.
(lighter sparking)
LLM: Last question: Are there any complications with wearing spandex onstage?
Greg: Ah, this one's for Brad.
Brad: Eye feal spandix letts mee feeel morr effemenate und it lettz mee sho afff mie dancc-ng skillz beecuze I tak pryd en mie flecksabillitty und mie finn-ess. Eye'm knot jusst ay singr, i'm a dancerr, a purrforrmer, and n akter as wel.
Josh: Brad's got nice thighs.
Brad: I doo da abb rollir.
Greg: We have a movie coming out.
Theron: We all have various movie projects we're working on too, you know, we're not just musicians.
LLM: Do you guys have any parting words?
Theron: Fucking party.
Josh: Do it.
Dave: Get your fucking Axes to the Sky.
(lighter sparking)
Brad: Thees ees kashed.