[From the Collected Recordings version of Great Truckin' Songs of the Renaissance.]
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Fans! Liggers! The avant garde,
Lend me your ears
I've got this theory about rock n roll
It confirms your very worst fears
I've got this theory, I'm almost too ashamed to say it
'cause I've studied all the people who like rock
And all the bands who play it
And you know, it seems like folly,
But one man invented rock, and it was not Buddy Holly
And it wasn't Elvis, or Little Richard
Oh, the bell does toll,
It's time to say
Adolf Hitler did not die
He invented rock'n'roll
Well! Fuck you, smartarse!
Can you think of something better?
You're the sort of brainless turd
Follows rock to the letter!
You say Adolf couldn't
You can't see the wood for the trees
Let me tell you some other things
That a rock fan believes
Do you believe in Mick Jagger's charismatic lips
Do you believe in what hangs between Jim Morrison's hips?
Do you believe John Lennon was a man, truly great
Do you believe that Morrissey chooses to remain celibate
Have you seen the way a person acts when they're in a band?
If you want the greatest proof of all... have you seen the fans?
You! who seem totally prepared to follow that sort of tripe
Dare to slag me off when I say it comes from the Third Reich
Yes! When Elvis Presley lay dyin', gurgling, on his bathroom floor,
And his fat, white, bloated body couldn't take it anymore
The last thing that went through his mind before his eyes in their sockets did roll
Was that Adolf Hitler did not die...
He invented rock'n'roll.
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