How would you explain TISM to someone who'd never heard of them? Hilarious? Anarchic? Worryingly, worryingly deranged? Love or hate their idiosyncratic brand of humour, there's not a band remotely like them anywhere else in the world.
If nothing else, TISM always, always put on a good show and tonight is no exception. The curtain rises to reveal a panel of "celebrity guests" sitting beneath a huge banner proclaiming this to be the "Save Our TISM" benefit show - "hosted by Marcel Proust". For a dead man, Marcel does rather well, explaining that TISM "basically can't be fucked anymore", and appealing for $1m to prevent them from packing it all in. Cue much hilarity as bewildered members of the public are telephoned by the Save Our TISM appeal - "Just a small donation, sir?" "FUCK OFF! FUCK OFF!" After being introduced by Marcel as "the cast of We Will Rock You", the band emerge resplendent in bizarre skin-tight siilver catsuits, complete with masks (of course), silver dreadlocks and what appear to be large inflatable silver cushions around their wrists. This was pretty much a greatest hits set (or, at least, a set of songs that would have been hits if the general public ever decided to buy TISM records en masse). Murder Murder Murder Death Death Death Amway Amway Amway, I'm Interested In Apathy, Greg (The Stop Sign!), Saturday Night Palsy, I Drive A Truck, All Homeboys Are Dickheads - the song titles are probably worth the price of admission alone.
(He'll Never Be An) Old Man River, still gloriously offensive after all these years, sees Ron Hitler Barassi (try explaining why that name is funny to anyone from outside Melbourne, never mind Australia) appear at the back of the house and run around in circles as the crowd attempt to disrobe him. Meanwhile, the general mayhem on stage continues apace, the rest of the band hurling themselves into the crowd, and by the time Marcel re-appears to declare the appeal $1 short, the band are in their usual varying states of semi-nudity. Despite the inevitable hail of coins onto the stage, Marcel is unmoved, and declares after the closing Defecate On My Face that TISM have now split up. Oh, let's hope not. Growing old disgracefully, TISM are a national treasure...
