How come you've been able to keep your true identities a secret for so long?
Because we are quite possibly the most boring people in all of Australia.
What is the "serious" thing referred to in the band's name?
That refers to Yahoo Serious who, of course, is right up there with Scorcese as one of the great film-makers of our time. Everything we do is a complete conscious artistic borrowing from him.
Does your mother know you're in TISM? Thank you for asking me that question, Glen. I have never had that asked of me before.
Who's your favourite TV chef?
Again, thank you for asking me that question. My favourite TV chef is a very important question which cuts to the heart of what it is that I do. I think about my favourite TV chef all the time. When I'm writing songs, when I'm slaving over a hot sampler, I think, `who is my favourite TV chef?'. I can't answer it because I'm simply too uncreative to live up to a question of that standard.
If someone were to play you in a movie, who would it be?
I think I would like any of those film stars who died before they were allowed to become mediocre - James Dean, Montgomery Clift, that bint who was in the Dracula movie not long ago who crashed her helicopter. Only because they are the opposite to me, in that I have become mediocre.
If someone gives you an item of clothing as a gift and you hate it, how long do you keep it before throwing it away?
I'd like to think my answer would be a groovy one but I only wear the clothes my mum buys me.
What is your earliest memory?
Probably about 8.30am.
Do you watch professional wrestling?
Sometimes people associate professional wrestling with a certain genre of bands, which includes TISM. They seem to think the masks and buffoonish behaviour is in some way connected. I would like to personally suggest that each of those people have a hot poker plunged through both eyeballs and then I would like them to hop into a bath with a hairdryer. Then I would like them hung, drawn and quartered and displayed in Whitlam Square.
