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Multinational Record Companies
Commercial Radio Programmers
-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL-
NOT TO BE SEEN BY THIS IS SERIOUS MUM FANS
My Dear Sir,
I have long admired with fervent rapture your contributions to the Australian Music Industry. Your radio station/record company (delete whichever not applicable) has not only been instrumental in nurturing genuine rock talent, but also has made plenty of the folding green stuff.
I'd like to take this opportunity - and I mean this most sincerely, I really do - to say that we here at TISM are often branded as some sort of avant-garde anarchists terrorising the entropic capitalist overloards of Oz Rock. This is totally true. Our principles are very dear to us. However, that don't mean they have to be dear to you. In fact, coupla plays of MARTIN SCORCESE IS REALLY QUITE A JOVIAL FELLOW b/w BABIES BITE BACK during drive-time, and our principles are yours, no deposit no obligation. Christ, this is the 6th god-forsaken single from 'Truckin' songs - if that doesn't make us like Whispering Jack, what does?
In conclusion, Mein Fuhrer, we're prepared to swap all this left-wing Dada confrontationalist artistic garbage for self-complacent, flatulent, flaccid dinosaur mainstream rock stardom, and here's a dollop of pre-fabricated musical tripe to convince you of the fact.
Yours in total obedience,
TISM
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