humphrey b. flaubert the 7th tells james ridley that as long as there is life, there is tism
"The world is cooling, and everything is shit, and we are all going to die horrible deaths, so in the meantime we're trying to enjoy it."
Just when you thought they were gone for good, Melbourne-bred masked men of mystery TISM, are back (again). "There really ought to have been 50 good reasons why TISM was no longer relevant years ago, but tragically there's still the same shit pouring out and there's still no-one prepared to come along and name names, so we're still around. We're ready to hand over the baton, but no-one's picking it up." Never afraid to speak their mind, TISM rose to fame through their highly controversial, uniquely Australian, no holes barred pisstake style of music and over the top live shows. Humphrey.B.Flaubert the 7th tells me over the phone that the secret to TISM's stalwart success has been based on never taking themselves seriously.
"There is so little fun in rock music, there ought to be so much more... to be funny in the world of rock is incredibly rare. A lot of people out there like to have fun, but it just seems to me that the minute you put into a musical context, all of a sudden the only thing that's worth doing is burying your soul in an terrible angst-ridden emotional manner...it beats me. Then you read articles about bands with such great sense of humour - well I aint fuckin' seein' it that's for sure! Something For Kate apparently have a great sense of humour - well blow me down!"
But as much as they love a big tongue (in cheek),their underlying purpose to bring fun to the saddest people is one big paradox; not being serious, Humphrey says, is serious business. "We're not trying to redefine rock music as we know it, we'd rather leave that to Jet.We're actually really serious about what we do, it's just for some reason this is the way it expresses itself. It's a very laborious process being half-arsedly funny, it takes years.You can fuckin' toss off OK Computer in five minutes, that takes nothin'. Coming up with something that makes a third of the people in the room laugh, FUCK!, it's hard work." What is also hard work, but something they have managed to achieve since starting what Humphrey describes as "an adolescent joke band" has been keeping their identities and day jobs a secret, something very important when you regularly piss so many people off.
"There's been lots of rumours; footballers, novelists, members of the Murdoch family... The real identity of the members of TISM is the guy that's walking past you on the street walking his dog that you don't notice, that's who TISM is. TISM are the guys who were not muscly enough to be jocks and not cool enough to be skaters and not even nerdy enough to be computer geeks; we're the great unwashed majority in society, the 98% for whom the mediocre is the message."
With the mainstream clogged up with whiney songs about not fitting in at high school, it's refreshing to hear someone's representing Regular John.
"This whole kids who don't fit in thing, the whole sort of prisoner of society kind of angle, we completely refute that.We are not outcasts, we are very much a part of society. We're the crowd milling around, trying to get on the 8:35 train to Flinders Street to go work a boring job."
So would TISM say they are the band for the everyday man?
"It's definitely an everyday man kinda thing, in the sense that every man wants to nude-up and wave their flapping genitals around like gorgonzola cheese in front of 18-year-old girls. Really we're like any other band in every single respect... they bang together a couple of chords and think of a few rhymes and that's exactly what we do, except for the fact that we put all this weird shit on top of it."
As can be seen on old footage on the DVD accompanying their new release, The White Albun, the last time they played the Hifi it was supposedly their last gig. I asked Humphrey what took them so long to return and what will be different this time.
"We'll hopefully be having more chicks backstage this time. It takes us a while...we are incredibly old now so the simplest action takes us a very long time. I bet you can cum three or four times a night, but for us it's like once every six months. So if you extend that to the rock process..."
Just like John Farnham.it seems every time TISM tour it's always the last revival tour.
"Our second gig was a comeback tour, because after our first ever gig we split up, so this comeback tour has lasted 15 years so far... I think that puts us ahead of the Screaming Jets. Whilst I can afford Moroccan boys and high quality cocaine, I think there is every reason to continue."
With a list of members totalling somewhere around "the population of Geelong" and more than enough toffs, bogans and general stupidity/absurdity in society to write songs about, it seems TISM are going to be around reeking [sic] further havoc well into the future.
"Frank Zappa was famous for his quote 'the modern day composer refuses to die' but unfortunately he died. If we can keep regenerating members, I can conceivably see us going on for another 50 years. As long there are four, or even five television stations...as long as there is life, there is TISM."
TISM play at the Hifi Bar this Friday July 2 (sold out) and Saturday July 3 with Arkenspace and Daybreak Giants.
