�But I did.�
�I ain�t going to hold it against you. It�s just a tough time for you with everything that�s going on.�
�I just want it to be over.�
�I know you do.�
�I�m so sorry, Nick.�
�Don�t worry about it.�
�I love you.�
�I love you too.� He kissed her neck lightly. �Do you still want to get married?�
She didn�t say anything for a moment. �Yeah; yeah I do.� They looked at each other.
�Are ya sure?�
�Yeah; I am still scared shitless of marriage though and think I�m still too young, but it�s what I want with you. I still want to get married in July.�
�Loni, I want you to do what you want and not what I want.�
�I do want this. I may not be as excited as you are, but I do want to marry you in July. I want to become Mrs. Nickolas Carter this summer. Yes I was thrilled when Charisma didn�t want us to get married on her birthday, because it gave us more time. I never wanted not to marry you though.�
�I was disappointed that you didn�t want to get married this past July. I was so looking forward to it, ya know.� She nodded. �I just wanted you happy though and if waiting to get married made you happy then I was happy.�
�You put your happiness on hold for me?�
�No.� She looked at him while wiping her eyes. �I did it for us. You are my happiness. I�d do anything for us as long as I don�t have to leave you.�
�Never.� They hugged.
�I was never going to leave you. I was just angry when I said it. You wouldn�t tell me what was going on and I just�just know I�d never leave you; especially for Bridgett.�
�I hope not.�
�Of course not. I�m going to love you and be with you until the end of time.� She hugged him tighter. �And also satisfy you of course.� She chuckled. �Which brings me to the next topic.�
�What�s that?�
�Christmas and when we first made love.�
She looked at him. �What about it? Wasn�t I your first? If I wasn�t��
�Calm down, Princess.� He smiled. �Of course you were my first so you have nothing to worry about.� She gave a relieved sigh and Nickolas had to laugh. �You�re so paranoid.�
�Well it�s just that you said I was your first and everything. I thought I was going to have to kick your ass for lying to me.�
�I didn�t so don�t worry.� He kissed her. �You were a great first time.� She grinned. �I wouldn�t take it back.� He kissed her again. �Ever.� He gave her another kiss. �I just want to know if you slept with me because you were ready. Or because you thought you had to?� She looked at him. �I just don�t want ya doing things ya don�t want to do, ya know.�
�Yeah.�
�Did we make love because you were ready or not?�
�We made love because I was ready, Nicky; and not because I thought I had to. Yes I was afraid that I was going to lose you to Bridgett, but that�s not why I slept with you. I love you and that�s what made my decision for us to make love.� He smiled. �I�ll admit that you accident scared me something bad.�
�I know it did.�
�That got me thinking about us, really thinking, and I just�I knew then how much I really loved you.�
�I love you too, Princess.�
�When I got that phone call I was so ready to die. I thought you were in really bad shape, because the nurse didn�t say anything. I thought I was going to lose you and I wanted to die. I didn�t want to live the rest of my life you and you now knowing how much I really love you.�
�So the accident played a part in your decision of sleeping with me?�
�Just a tiny part.� She grinned. �I did it because I love you and wanted to show you how much.�
�But you left your fear of losing me make your choice, Lon.� He got up. �You didn�t do it because you were ready��
�That�s not true, because I was ready.�
�No you weren�t and that makes me angry.�
�Why does it make you angry?�
�Because it makes me feel like I took advantage of you and forced you into it.�
�But you didn�t, Nick; it was my choice.�
�Because of me.�
�No.� She got on her knees in front of him. �Why would you even think that, Baby?�
�He sighed. �Because of Bridgett.�
�Why?�
�She�s my ex and has been making your life a living hell since she came back. I can�t help it, but think that it�s my entire fault.�
�It�s not.�
�Yes it is.�
�No it�s not.� He didn�t say anything. �Listen to me; it ain�t your fault that she came back. She learned you were happy and wanted to ruin it. I almost left her do it, but I held onto you and to us. I didn�t want her to win although she was making me crazy with all her stupid stories and shit.�
�You had nothing to worry about.�
�I know that now.� They hugged. �And you didn�t force me into sex or anything.�
�Oh, Loni D.�
�What?�
�I love you and I�m sorry I forced you into anything.�
�You didn�t so shut up.�
�Yes I did and I�m really sorry.�
�I was ready so let�s just leave it at that.�
�But��
�I insist, Nickolas.�
�Fine; we�ll just discus it later then.�
�No we won�t because this conversation here is over.� They looked at each other. �I mean it.�
�Ok.� She smiled. �You�re so beautiful.�
�No, you are.� She kissed him.
�But we�re all right though.�
�Yeah. I hope so.�
�Good.�
�I feel better now that we talked. It feels like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.� He nodded. �It feels great.�
�I�m sure it does.�
�It does.�
�Good.� The both smiled and she kissed him. �Just promise me that you�ll tell me if anything is bothering you again.�
�I promise.�
�Thank you.�
�I�ve learned my lesson.�
�I�m glad. I don�t want to have to tell you I�m leaving again and walk out just to get ya to talk.� She grinned. �Do you know how hard that was for me?�
�Not as hard as it was for me to hear. Before you walked out I was going to tell ya that we can talk after the concert. You walked out before I could and wouldn�t wait. That really hurt me too ya jerk.� She hit him playfully.
�I�m sorry. I just wanted you to talk to me and I thought that was the only way.�
�I�m glad you did though, because it made me realize how stupid I was being. I was hurting the both of us and I�m sorry.�
�I�ll forget about it if you�ll let me make love to you�yet again.� She smiled. �We got five months to make up for.� She continued smiling. �What?� She continued smiling as she grabbed his shirt and threw him on the bed. �I guess that�s a yes.� She straddled him and continued smiling as she leaned down and kissed him.
CHAPTER 10
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