Kevin walked down the basement stairs to check on Jenai, but she wasn�t there. He heard the rain and saw that the door was open. He walked over and looked out and saw Jenai sitting there. She was wrapped in a blanket watching the rain and Kevin saw her red wet cheeks. He sighed and walked over to her. She looked at him and he sat next to her.
�Do you want to talk about it?� Kevin asked.
�There�s nothing to talk about,� Jenai replied wiping her eyes.
�So you�re crying because it�s raining?� She chuckled. �Jenai, we�ve been close since you came into our home; I know when something�s wrong with you.�
�Maybe this time nothing is wrong with me.�
�Don�t lie to me.� She wrapped the blanket around her more.
�I�m just not feeling well.�
�Ever since you were eight you never cried when you got sick. Tell me what the hell�s going on with you.�
�I don�t want to talk about it.�
�Does it have to do with Nick?�
�Nick doesn�t have anything to do with me or anything.� She got up and went to the opposite end. �I wish people would stop trying to push me towards Nick. It�s my decision not to want anything to do with him and no one else�s. He�s a cop and I ain�t into cops.�
�You�re so stubborn, Jenai.�
�It�s my life and I�ll live it the way I want to.�
�In solitude and not letting anyone in?�
�No one gets hurt that way.� Kevin shook his head and they just stayed silent a few minutes and Jenai walked back over and sat next to him. �I�m sorry.�
�There�s nothing to be sorry about.�
�I�m just not having the best of days lately.�
�Do you want to talk about it?� She shrugged. �You�ll feel better if ya do.�
�I don�t think anything will make me feel better right now.�
�Why not?� She didn�t say anything and just watched the rain. �Ok, I understand you don�t want to talk about it.�
�It�s not that I don�t want to. It�s just that if I talk about it then it means its real and I don�t want it to be real.�
�Ok, but you�re not helping me any.� She gave a little grin. �Please tell me what�s going on.�
She waited a few moments then said, �Remember the cysts I had on my ovaries?� He nodded. �Well back in October I went to the doctor to have them checked out and�well Dr. Lima diagnosed me with ovarian cancer.�
�What?�
�It�s gone now. I had surgery to get it removed.�
�Why didn�t you tell me?�
�I didn�t want to worry you.�
�You still should have told me.�
�No one knows, Kev, except Kristin.�
�What about mom and dad?� She looked at him. �Not even them?� She shook her head. �Damn it, Jenai, why do you think you have to go through everything alone? Just because your birth parents left you alone doesn�t mean the rest of us are. You have people that love you now and care for you. There�s no reason to go through anything alone.�
�I don�t want to put you guys through it�ya know, seeing me sick and everything.�
�It�s called love, Jenai. We�re a family and we stick together no matter what�s going on.�
�I know I just�� She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. �I was just afraid you�d try to run my life once you found out. I didn�t want that to happen.�
�And it wouldn�t have or is going to happen. I can�t tell you how to deal with this cancer. I don�t know the first thing about it.�
�Neither do I and I�m the one that had it. I could still have it. That�s probably why I�m sick.�
�What�d the doctor say?�
�Dr. Lima said I was fine and that the cancer�s gone. I know better though, because it�s my body. I know my body and I know something�s wrong with me. I�m scared the cancer came back.� She started crying all over again and Kevin embraced her.
�I�m here for you, Jenai, and you know that.�
�I�m just so afraid. I don�t want to be afraid.�
�It�s ok to be afraid once in a while. There�s nothing wrong with it.�
�I know, but I don�t want to be afraid. I�ve been afraid since Brianna died and I don�t want to live like that anymore.�
�You don�t have to live your life afraid. Let the ones that love you help you.�
�I don�t want anyone to know.�
�Jenai, you can�t keep this a secret.�
�I don�t want to put them through this, because I love them so much.�
�Is that why you�re pushing Nickolas away?� She looked at him and nodded. �Why? He cares about you so much.�
�I know and I care about him. The thing is though he wants children and I can�t have any.�
�I�m sorry.�
�So am I. It�s all my fault too, because I ignored the cysts on my ovaries. If I got them removed when I was told to this wouldn�t have happened.�
�It could just be a hereditary thing.�
�But I�ll never know, because I don�t know my real family. I can�t even remember my birth parents names or what they looked like.�
�It happens.�
She left him go and said, �Please promise me you won�t tell anyone about what�s going on.� He sighed and went to speak, but Jenai stopped him. �Please, Kevin, keep this to yourself�at least just until I know if it�s back or not. I don�t want people to worry if it�s nothing and if it�s nothing no one has to know anything.� Kevin shook his head. �Can you please respect my wishes just this once? It�s my life and my choice.�
�I know that, but I just want you to have all the support you can get.�
�I just need you and Kris for now. If it�s worse than I think it is then I�ll think about telling the family�including Marty.�
�And Nick?� She shrugged. �What about Jakob and Justin?� She shrugged again. �So you know, if it�s worse than you think and you don�t tell them then I will. I don�t want to argue about this either. My minds made up; you don�t tell then I will.� She didn�t say anything and just nodded. �I just want the best for you.�
�I know.� He hugged her again and tried to take in what she had just told him.
CHAPTER 4
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