I looked at Nickolas, as he sat silently next to his brother on the sofa. We were talking music, but he wasn�t joining the conversation as usual. That�s how I knew something was bothering him. I watched Claudia finally leave Howard�s side and go into the kitchen with the girls. I looked back at Nickolas and his gaze was on the pictures, placed on the fireplace mantle. I followed his gaze to which picture it was�the picture of Evangelique. I looked back at him and he just looked at the picture for the longest time. That�s when it dawned on me. The boy was in love with her. I smiled and looked at the others. They were looking at Nickolas also.
�Hey, Frack.� He didn�t look and Aaron slapped his brother�s leg.
�Hey, ya little prick,� Nickolas snapped.
�Brian called ya,� Aaron said and Nickolas looked at me.
�Mind sharing?� He looked at us.
�Share what?� Nickolas questioned.
�What�s on your mind,� Kevin answered.
�Nothing,� Nickolas lied.
�Don�t lie. It�s been twelve years.� He got up and walked around the room.
�Is it serious?� Alexander asked.
�Yes it�s serious,� Nickolas replied. �And I have no idea what to do.�
�What is it?� Kevin asked.
�Evvie�s getting married,� Nickolas stated.
�Excuse us?�
�In a month,� Nickolas pointed out.
�I�m happy for her,� Alexander said and Nickolas glared at him.
�The guy�s an ass,� Nickolas stated. �He�s trying to run her life. I met him for like ten minutes and I already hate him.�
�Why?�
�I just told you why,� Nickolas said.
�I�m still happy for her,� Alexander said.
�Did you not hear what I said,� Nickolas questioned. �He�s an ass. He�s trying to run her life.�
�So tell her,� Kevin said.
�I did,� Nickolas replied. �She doesn�t care.�
�How do ya know?� Howard asked.
�Because she gives me that same look she always does when she doesn�t care,� Nickolas replied and we looked at him. �That �shut-your-mouth-and-get-over-it-or-I�ll-kick-your-damn-ass� look.�
�I love that look,� Aaron stated and Nickolas glared at him.
�That�s what I came home to,� Nickolas said. �What makes it even worse is that she doesn�t know if she loves him or is even making the right decision.�
�Talk to her,� Kevin said.
�I did,� Nickolas said. �I said everything I could possibly think of.� He left out a disgusted sigh and I shook my head.
�Why does this really bother you?� He just looked at me for the longest time and we waited for an answer. We watched him walk over to the fireplace and pick up Evangelique�s picture and just look at it.
He sighed and said, �I feel�and I�m afraid that I�m going to lose the bestest friend I ever had.� He looked at us a moment and I saw the pain and fear in his eyes. �She�s been there for me through everything and supported me no matter what. Now she�s getting married and I�ll see less of her. Lesser than I do now.�
�That�s not going to happen, Nickolas,� Kevin said. �Ev knows her friends will always be there.�
�If this Cameron character has his way,� Nickolas started, �I won�t be seeing her now.�
�Why don�t ya just tell her, Nicky,� Howard suggested.
�Tell her what?� Nickolas asked.
�That you�re in love with her,� Howard said and Nickolas looked at him.
�I ain�t in love with her,� Nickolas denied. �She�s my best friend.�
�You can�t lie to us,� Howard stated.
�What he said,� Alexander said.
�I ain�t in love with Ev,� Nickolas denied sighing and putting the picture back. �It�s impossible.�
�Ladies,� Alexander said and we all looked. I looked at Evangelique and saw the blank expression go across her face.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
�Evangelique�
Those words stabbed me in the heart just like a knife. But why did it hurt so much? Nickolas never said anything to hurt me. I just looked at him and wanted to cry. I didn�t though and looked at him a moment longer, as he looked at me. I took a deep breath and walked over to the coffee table. I set the drinks down and sat on the sofa beside Aaron.
�Let�s get this movie started,� Brian said.
�Sounds good,� Alexander agreed.
�What are we watching?�
�An oldie, but goody,� Kevin replied.
�Which is?�
��The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003�,� Howard answered.
�Cool.� I looked at Nickolas and he grinned. I watched as he walked over and sat beside me. He smiled and put his arm around me like so many times before. I looked at him a moment then looked away.
�Are you all right?� Nickolas asked me and I nodded, even though inside I was hurting. I looked at him and forced a smile. He smiled in return and kissed my forehead. I leaned forward and picked up my drink. I also got Nickolas� and handed it to him. He smiled a thank you and looked at the TV.
I just sighed wondering, wondering why Nickolas� words hurt so much. Of course he didn�t love me, romantically anyway, we�re best friends. I didn�t love him romantically either. It�s impossible like he said. I was marrying Cameron. I love Cameron. My future is with Cameron. Or do I? And is it? Of course it was. I said yes after all. Minus his conceitedness, arrogance, controlness, and every other bad thing about him, he was all right. Now that the wedding was getting closer Cameron�s getting worse. Today wasn�t any better than the last couple weeks. I left out a disgusted sigh and I felt everyone�s eyes on me. I looked and they were all looking at me.
�Are you ok?� Howard asked.
�Perfectly fine. I think anyway.� I got up. �Excuse me.� I put my glass on the stand and walked away. I went out to the back porch and shut it. I walked over to the banister and looked out to the night. What if Chloe and Trisha were right? What if I am in love with Nickolas? What am I going to do? Sure we do stuff that only lover�s do, but he�s my best friend and I�m marrying Cameron. I don�t care what anyone says. Nickolas� words still hurt though. I felt completely awful. How could I be in love with him? It�s been 21 years and we�ve been nothing more, but friends. Except that one night back in 2000 on Valentine�s Day. That�s probably the best night of my life. Other than that we�ve been friends. I turned to look in at my best friend, but to my surprise he was standing right in front of me. �Nick?�
�Hey.�
�Why ain�t you watching the movie?� He shrugged.
�I guess it�s because you�re not sitting beside me like you always do.�
�Sorry; I just needed some air.�
�Are you sure you�re all right?�
�Yeah; why?�
�I can usually tell when something�s bothering you.� I looked at him. �And something seems to bothering you.�
�I�m fine.� What a lie that was and Nickolas knew it, because he gave me a grin.
�I hope ya know you�re not a good liar.�
�Neither are you.�
�So I guess that means you don�t want to talk about it.�
�Not really.�
�Alright.� I knew he was disappointed so I hugged him.
�I know ya just want to help, Nicky, but I don�t think anyone can.�
�Let me be the judge of that.� I didn�t say anything. �We would tell each other everything no matter how difficult, complicated or whatever. I still do, but you seemed to have stopped. What happened?� I still didn�t say anything. �Is it me?�
�Of course not. You�re he greatest.�
�Why couldn�t you tell me you were getting married?�
�I don�t know. I just didn�t have the heart to do it.�
�You could�ve told me the last time we seen each other.�
�I just couldn�t bring myself to do it.� Why was this hurting so much? Why wasn�t he hugging me in return? What did I do? �You�re everything to me, Nicky, and I just didn�t want the whole marriage thing to alter our friendship.�
�I ain�t going anywhere. I�m always going to be here. I promise.�
�What if something changes that?�
�Like what?�
�I don�t know�anything.� I couldn�t tell him �perhaps the fact that I might be in love with you.� It would probably definitely change everything.
�Nothing�s going to change anything between us so forget the thought.� He finally hugged me in return, but something was different about it. It wasn�t one of those squeezie big bear hugs he always gave me. It was a nice loving sweet hug. It made me feel different. I got this weird feeling I got when we made love and when we were together earlier at my office. It was wrong, but it felt so good at the same time. �You have nothing to worry about.� His breath in my ear felt so good. �Nothing at all.� I felt his lips on my neck. One kiss�two kiss�three kiss�d�j� vu.
�Nicky.� Damn, it felt so good. I felt his hands go up my shirt, but didn�t care. He pulled me even closer and left me feel what was hidden under his clothes. I still didn�t care. It was Nickolas and not Cameron.
I collapsed in his arms just as we heard Alexander, �Are you guys coming back in? Or spending the night out here?�
�We�ll be right in,� Nickolas said not looking at him.
�Brian just wanted to know,� Alexander stated and I watched him go back inside. I looked at Nickolas and grinned.
�Remember what I said earlier?� he asked.
�Yeah.� He just looked at me.
CHAPTER 8