I looked at Nickolas and walked over to him. We looked at each other a moment then I hugged him. �I�m so glad you�re home.�
�So am I. It looks like you could use a friend.�
�Definitely and I�m glad it�s you.�
�Anytime. Anything for you.�
�Thanks.� I just held onto him as tight as I could. I didn�t want to leave him go. I loved being in his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and breathed in his scent. Gravity. I loved the smell. I would sit with him for hours and just breathe it in. I didn�t care how much time would pass before we realized how late it was. Right now I didn�t care at all. I just wanted to be with Nickolas and no one else. I tightened my hold on him and just continued to breathe him in.
�Evvie?�
�Hmm?�
�Are you all right?�
�I think so.� We walked over to the sofa and sat down.
�Tell me what�s on your mind.�
�So much, Nicky. I don�t know if I�m making the right decision about marrying CJ. What do you think? You know me best.� I looked at him, as he looked at me. I wanted him to say it was the wrong decision and to call it off. I just looked at him. I could usually tell what was going on in his mind, but this time I couldn�t. I had no idea what he was thinking, as he looked at me.
�Do you love him?�
�What?�
�Do you love Cameron?�
�I guess so. I mean yeah. I just��
�Go on.�
�I just don�t know if I love him enough to marry him.�
�Oh.�
�Yeah.� I left out a sigh. �Aunt Chloe said I don�t love him like I think I do and that I�m just using him to hide my feelings from someone else.�
�Really?�
�Really.�
�Like from who?� I looked at him, as he looked at me interested. �Who could you possibly be in love with if it ain�t Cameron?� �I wanted to say him, but I couldn�t. I didn�t even know if it was true.
�No one.� I got up and walked over to the window. I knew Nickolas knew I was lying, but I didn�t really care.
�Sugar Bear, what�s going on?�
�What do you mean?�
�Don�t play games with me. What�s wrong?�
�Cameron.�
�Huh?�
�Yeah.�
�But why?�
�Things changed from when we first got together.�
�Like what?� He stood behind me and put his arms around me like he always did.
�Where we first got together he was so sweet, but then after about a year together he started changing. The way he is now is the way he�s been the past year.�
�When did ya get engaged?�
�A year ago. June 1st to be exact. We weren�t even together a year when he proposed.�
�Oh.� I nodded. �Why�d you say yes?�
�Cause it�s what I thought I wanted, but now I ain�t so sure.�
�I understand.� I completely relaxed, as he took his fingers through my hair. I loved the way he did it. �I�m always here for you so don�t worry about anything. I got your back.�
�I know.� He kissed my forehead. �I�m here for you too.�
�Yeah.� He took his hand down my arm. �I know that.�
�Good.� His hand found my hand and he intertwined our fingers. How good that felt. All of it actually. Having his arms around me. Having his hand in mine. Feeling his warm body next to mine. I felt like I was in heaven. Come to think of it I always felt like that when I was with him. I was so calm and relaxed. I looked down at my hands again and saw that Nickolas was holding both of them. I looked up and smiled at him. He smiled himself and kissed my nose. �You�re nuts.�
I know, but you�re just as bad as I am.�
�Whatever.�
�You�ll get whatever.� We laughed. �Are you going to go through with this wedding? Or call it quits?� I just looked at him not knowing what to say.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
�Nickolas�
Evangelique just looked at me and said nothing. It was a real simple question with a real simple answer...yes or no. In my opinion she really didn't need to think about it. If she really loved this guy then she would go through with it. If she doesn't then she'll back out and not make a fool of herself. I, myself, was hoping she would not go through with it. She doesn't need to be in a marriage with a guy she hardly loves. Or with a guy who obviously doesn't understand her. This also means that he doesn�t love her for her. I could rip this guys head off right now. It was obvious he's been putting her through hell. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to me either. I could make Evangelique happy and I think deep down she knows that. She just had to open her heart and see that. She that...
�Nickolas,� Evangelique said interrupting my thoughts and I looked at her. �How was Pluto? Find anything interesting?�
�Funny.�
�I asked if you wanted to go for pizza or we could just order in and watch movies all night.�
�Sounds fun.�
�Which part?�
�The second.�
�Good.�
�That Cameron guy doesn�t have to come, does he?�
�No way. Just me and you.�
�That�s all I wanted to know.�
�Ok. First let me get these figures straightened out and then we can go.�
�Can�t that wait until morning?� She just looked at me. �I thought your accountant did that.� She walked away and sat at her desk.
�I fired him.�
�Why?�
�He was ripping me off.�
�Oh. I�ll recommend you to my accountant.�
�You do that.�
�I will and you�ll be in good hands.� She smiled then started looking through her stuff. �What�s with all the pictures of Cameron?�
�He thought that since we�re getting married I don�t need any pictures of you. Where is it? Ugh!� Evangelique getting married to Cameron. I hated even the thought. �Shakira!� She was Evangelique�s other secretary after Trisha leaves at three.
�What�s wrong?�
�I can�t find my ledger.� She slammed a drawer shut.
�Yes, Miss Washington,� Shakira said with her Spanish accent coming into the room.
�Did you see my debit/credit business ledger thingy?� Evangelique asked. �I can�t find it.�
�No I haven�t. Would you like the back up copy?�
�Please. I need to get these numbers done.�
�I already did them.�
�Oh. Then�um�I trust they�re right.� Her phone rang. �Hold on.�
�I heard yelling earlier,� Shakira said looking at me. �Is everything all right?�
�The fianc� is on a thin thread and will soon be walking down the aisle alone,� I replied.
�I understand�really.� She smiled. �I think Miss Washington is taken with you, but that�s just my opinion. I�m a crazy woman.� She chuckled and walked out.
�Very strange woman.� I wondered though if it was possible that Evangelique returned my feelings. I smiled at the thought and looked at her. She made a disgusted face and rolled her eyes. My guess was that she was talking to Cameron. I just met him for ten minutes and I couldn't stand the guy. He was all wrong for Evangelique. She needed someone like me. I would and could definitely make her happy.
�I�ll be waiting, CJ, and it better be here,� Evangelique said. Damn was I good. �It better be here by seven, because I have plans.� What was his problem? �Yes with Nick�I don�t care�goodbye, Cameron.� She hung the phone up. �He�s this close and getting closer.
�When�s the wedding again?�
�In one month�July 15.�
�Will you go through with it?� Please say no. Please say no. She just shrugged. That doesn't help. I left out a disgusted sigh and took both my hands through my hair.
�What?�
�Nothing. It's just that this guy is causing you a lot of stress and shit and you don't know if you're going to go through with his wedding nonsense.�
�Chloe said the same thing.�
�I�m glad.�
�Why is it nonsense?�
�Cause it is.�
�Just remember that when you get married.�
�I don�t plan on it.� That wasn't true though. I wanted Evangelique to be my wife. I didn't realize that until now. �Sugar Bear, you need to make a decision here. You have a month.�
�I know.�
�What�s your head telling ya?�
�To marry him.�
�What about your heart?�
�Not to.�
�Evvie, I�ve known you forever and your heart was always stronger than your head.� She just looked at me. �You said it yourself, you don�t know if you love him enough to marry him. That has to tell ya something. If I were you, I�d go with my heart and that�s it. I wouldn�t do something I was unsure about.� She continued looking at me. �When�s the engagement party?�
�July 8.�
�Then you need to make up your mind by then.� She continued looking at me, as she walked over to me. She stood in front of me and bit her bottom lip. She licked her lips, grabbed the front of my shirt, and then kissed me like she did earlier. And of course, I kissed her in return.
CHAPTER 5