What was she supposed to do? She loved Nickolas, but he couldn�t see that. Everything was coming between them. Maybe they�re not supposed to be together after all. But why? After all they�ve been through. They�ve beaten so many odds. Why couldn�t they beat this? Whatever it is.
She held the picture to her chest, put her head back, and said out loud, �Nicky, what�s happening to us? I love you so much.� There was a knock. �Go away.� She put the pillow and picture on the sofa and got up. When she got to the door, she opened it, and said, �Jo, come in.�
�Thanks,� Josephine said walking in and Sunshine closed the door.
�You don�t need to knock.�
�I just thought you were with Nick, because I heard about the other night.�
�Don�t remind me, please.�
�Why? What�s wrong?�
�Nick.�
�What happened?� They sat on the sofa.
�I don�t know. One minute everything�s going great and then the next he�s lying, walking out, and without an explanation�again. I actually thought we were going to get back together last night. What a joke that turned out to be.�
�I�m sorry.�
�It�s not your fault. Unless you called him and made him leave. Did you?�
Josephine looked at her a second then quickly said, �Of course not. I was at Kev�s all night.�
�I want to know what the person said to him. Cause after the phone call he left. I�m thinking it has something to do with Brad.�
�Why do you say that?�
�Right before he went out the door, he told me to go find Brad, because he might give me what I want. He thinks I�m shacking up with Brad. I�m not though.�
�I believe you.�
�But Nick doesn�t.� She was ready to cry, but stopped herself.
�Whoever he was talking to must�ve said you and Brad are sleeping together.�
�I wish I knew who it was so I can go kick their ass.�
�But everything was fine before that.�
�Yeah; it was terrific. We were getting along like nothing ever happened.�
�Don�t give details please.�
�I wasn�t going to.�
�What are you going to do?�
�I have no idea. He�s not going to listen to me.� She wiped away a tear. �I�m so mad at him right now. I didn�t even stay and have lunch with Kev and them, because Nicky was there.�
�I don�t know what to tell you, but just wait.�
�What if I can�t?�
�I�m sure you can, because your love for each other is so strong. You�ll beat whatever this is.� Sunshine wiped away another tear. �Stop crying.�
�I can�t help it. Nick�s making me cry.�
�That�s because you love him and he�s making it impossible for you.�
�You know what. I�m not going to cry hurt tears over him anymore. They�ll be tears of joy when we get back together. I promise you that.�
�As long as you promise.�
�So how�s it going with D?�
�I�m not sure. I�m just�I don�t know. He�s trying to make it right, but I just can�t get pass the fact he�s in love with you. It still hurts.�
�Jo, I��
�I know. I guess maybe if the girl wasn�t my best friend it�d be easier.�
�I�m sorry. Maybe if I never kissed Howie things would be different between you two.�
�You can�t blame yourself.�
�You�re right. Let�s blame D.�
�There�s a plan. We have no luck with guys.�
�Nope. So when are you coming back home?�
�What do ya mean?�
�I�m going to need some company. The sooner the better.�
�Alright I guess. This weekend fine?�
�It�s perfect. I miss you too.�
�I miss you.� They hugged.
�Do you want to eat ice cream from the container and watch action flicks all night?�
�Sure; it�s better than a sappy romance.�
�You pick the movie and I�ll get the goodies.� Sunshine began walking to the kitchen then stopped and turned around. �Anyone but �Nowhere To Run�.� Josephine only looked at her. �Me and Nicky would watch it together.�
�Ok.� Josephine said and Sunshine walked into the kitchen.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was after midnight and Sunshine sat alone on the beach outside the condo complex. She was watching the yachts out in the harbor and thinking. Nickolas had a yacht; a big yacht. They took it out a few times when they were both home and made love under the stars. That started to feel like it was a very long time ago. Everything seemed like it was a very long time ago anymore with Nickolas. Everything except what happened the other night.
Maybe if she was just honest with Nickolas and tell him that yes she did sleep with Bradley, but it was a long time ago. But it would hurt him. He believed he was the only one that she ever slept with and he seemed happy with that. If she ever told him that she slept with Bradley he would be devastated. Maybe someone found out about it and that�s why Nickolas was upset. He hated the fact that she lied to him and made him believe.
Perhaps she was to blame in a way, but he could�ve been honest with her instead of just walking out. Maybe if he was honest then she would�ve been honest. Instead he decided to take the coward�s way out and break her heart more. Decided to forget what they shared the past four years and break her heart. Decided to forget all those special romantic nights they spent together tangled in each others arms sharing eternal bliss. Decided to forget everything that meant so much to the two of them.
Sunshine looked at the pill bottle she was holding with shaking hands. She used one shaking hand and wiped away the tears streaming down her face. She stared at the bottle for the longest time and then with trembling hands she finally opened it and took two pulls out. She didn�t hesitate any and put them in her mouth. She picked up her bottle of water and washed the pills down. She looked back out to the yachts and started crying all over again for Nickolas.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Nickolas was walking that same beach. He was only a few steps away from the condo complex and looked out to the harbor at the yachts. He had a forty foot yacht of his own. He took Sunshine out on it a lot and they spent all night making love under the stars. How could he forget? Those nights felt like they just happened. Everything felt like it just happened. Especially the other night. He felt horrible for leaving the way he did.
Maybe if he was just honest with her they wouldn�t be in this mess. The mess that he caused by breaking Sunshine�s heart. He would only admit it to himself though. For some reason he couldn�t admit it to anyone else. Not even Sunshine. He wanted to make things right with her that night, but it was ruined by one phone call from Josephine. She had to ruin it. He was better off not knowing that Sunshine was sleeping with Bradley Fischetti of all people. 'We�re just friends�, Sunshine�s words echoed in his mind. What bull that was, he thought.
Perhaps he should have just been honest with her. Maybe she had an explanation for Josephine�s accusation. He didn�t want to believe that she would do it purposefully, but something was making him believe it. He wanted to believe that she did it because she was so vulnerable, because of him and Bradley happened to be there. Everything was so screwed up and he was the only one to blame.
He chose cowardness instead of honesty. She probably believed he forgot what they shared the past four years. Believed he forgot all those special romantic nights they spent together tangled in each others arms sharing eternal bliss. Believed he forgot everything that meant so much to the two of them. He didn�t forget any of it though. He couldn�t forget. He remembered it all. Sunshine meant the universe to him and she always would.
He continued walking and noticed someone lying on the beach; not moving. He got closer and saw the skull tattoo on the left shoulder blade under the moonlight. He knew right away that it was Sunshine and rushed over to her. He quickly knelt beside her and checked for a pulse. He was relieved when he found a normal one and just looked at her for a moment. Even at night, under the moonlight, and while she was sleeping, he could tell she was a wreck.
He pushed the hair away from her face and said, �Sunnie.� She didn�t even flinch. �Sweets.� Still nothing. �I bet you knew I was going to be here and wouldn�t let ya out here by yourself.� He put one arm under her neck and the other under her knees then slowly got up. �Come on.�
He carried her back into the building and up to her condo. The door was already unlocked and he took her inside and back to her bedroom, as a tired moan escaped her. He looked at her and laid her on the bed. He watched her stir in her sleep then stripped her. He left her in her under garments and took the pill bottle that was still lodged in her hand. He looked at it a second then put it on the nightstand; next to the first picture that was taken of them.
He stared at it a moment, before he heard, �Nicky.�
He looked at Sunshine. �Shh! Go to sleep, Sweets.� He pulled the blanket over her and kissed her lips softly. �Sleep sweet, Sweets.�
He forced himself from the bedroom and then had to force himself from the condo. He wanted to stay to make sure she was all right, but he couldn�t. If she woke up and saw him there she would get the wrong impression. But what was so wrong with that. He wanted her. He wanted to be with her. He never wanted to be with anyone like the way he wanted to be with her. He loved her for crying out loud. Everyone knew that, but they didn�t realize how much.
CHAPTER 23
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