The last time she was there was the night her and Nickolas almost had sex. The night her whole life almost changed. Maybe it wouldn�t have been a bad thing. They would probably still be together and she wouldn�t be worrying about her current boyfriend trying to off the love of her life. If she could just be honest with herself then she could just be honest with everyone else. She would probably scare Nickolas off if she told him she was in love with him. Even if it did at least he would know how she really felt about him. She would feel better about herself knowing he knew the truth along with everyone else.
She couldn�t though. She wasn�t ready. She�s only known him for six months at least. To her that was a little too soon to tell someone you love them. She wanted him to know though. There might be a time where she wouldn�t be able to tell him. She�d hate herself. Either one of them could die not knowing and it would tear her apart from the inside out. If Nickolas died without knowing how she really felt then she would hate herself for the rest of her life, which probably wouldn�t be that long after he died. Or if she died without him knowing then she would still hate herself. She would have to come back and leave him a message saying she was in love with him and sorry that she never told him. And if she told him now he would probably just run from her and then where would she be.
Plus she was afraid. She was afraid of love. She was in love with Nickolas, but she was afraid. She was afraid of getting hurt, but she fell more and more in love with him each passing day. And remembering the moments they shared together didn�t help matters any. They just pushed her further and further towards him. She had no idea what to do. She wanted to be with Nickolas, but she was afraid of falling in love with him. She was though. It felt good though and she didn�t want it to go away. If there was one thing in her life at the moment that felt right, it was falling in love with Nickolas.
She sighed and Nickolas finally said, �Ya do know the party�s outside right?� Sunshine jumped and looked at him, as he smiled. �Just asking.�
�Yes I do know that.�
�Then why aren�t you out there and in here?� She just shrugged and he walked over to her.
�Why aren�t you out there?�
�I had to get cups and stuff.�
�Right.� They stood there looking at each other. �Nick, are you sure you understand why I broke it off?�
�Yes I understand.�
�Positive?�
�Yes. Why do you keep asking me the same question every time we talk?�
�I just don�t want you to hate me for it. I want you to understand.�
�I do understand so stop it already.�
�I�m sorry.�
�If I didn�t understand and I wasn�t cool with it you would know.� She just looked at him. �Ok, well I really ain�t cool with it, but I do understand. And I�m really not cool with you and Howie.� She grinned. �I mean, c�mon, it�s Howard. He�s got to make sure he looks better than the girl. Do you really want to be with someone that looks better than you when you go out?�
�I always thought you looked better than me when we went out.� She smiled. �Howie and I never went out so�I guess it really doesn�t matter. He does worry about his mane a lot. I guess that�s part of being a Leo, because my sister is the same way and she�s a Leo. And so is Josie.� They both chuckled. �Do you need any help?�
�No I got it under control, but I forgot the ketchup. Do ya mind?�
�Not at all.�
�Thanks.� She nodded and started walking away. �Also I got some tea in the fridge ma made if it ain�t too much trouble.�
�Not at all.�
�Thanks, Sweets.� She just nodded and Nickolas watched her walk from the room.
Sunshine walked to the kitchen and went over to the refrigerator. She got the ketchup out and stood there looking in. She didn�t see any tea, but she saw a bowl of strawberries. She took a strawberry and put it too her mouth, as hands went around her waist. She jumped and turned around, dropping the ketchup bottle, and she saw Nickolas.
�What the hell are you doing, Carter? Trying to give me a heart attack?�
�No; sorry.�
�Yeah.� He smiled and kissed her. �Nick�you�we�� She put her arms around his neck and kissed him in return. �You know my weakness.�
�So I have to play on it.�
�Nuh-uh.� He pushed her against the open refrigerator and pushed himself against her so she could feel his arousal. �Mmm�Nicky�hard already.�
�Like you wouldn�t believe.� She smiled between the kisses and unzipped his pants. Her hand found its way inside and in his boxers. She started rubbing him with her hand and he moaned into her mouth. �Damn, girl��
�I�m next, right?�
�If ya want to be.�
�Yeah.� She started rubbing him harder and faster just as there was singing coming from the other room.
�Shit!� they both said and Sunshine quickly pulled her hand from Nickolas� pants. He quickly went up the back stairs, as Alexander walked in.
�We need the ketchup, Short Shit,� Alexander said.
�Right,� Sunshine said picking it up off the floor and handing it to him. He slowly took it from her, as he raised an eyebrow. �What?�
�Nothing,� Alexander said grinning and then walking from the kitchen, as Sunshine closed the refrigerator.
�Oiy!� Sunshine said leaning against it and sighing. She stood there a few moments and Nickolas walked back in. They looked at each other and smiled.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sunshine sat on the deck with the others and played in the leftover ketchup on her plate from the French fries she made herself. She sat there doing that a moment and her and Nickolas looked at each other. They both smiled at each other and she reached her foot over and touched his. He smiled, as she put her finger in her mouth and sucked off the ketchup. She slowly took her finger from her mouth and bit her bottom lip.
She pulled her chair in closer to the table and rested her head in her palm, as she got a strawberry from the bowl in front of her. Nickolas watched, as she put part of the fruit in her mouth and took a bite. She smiled at him and he felt her foot go up his leg. She just continued looking at him and he pulled his chair in closer. She put her foot in his swimming trunks and he grinned, as her foot got to his penis. He pushed himself against her foot and she started moving it around. Nickolas cleared his throat and they all looked at him.
�Are you all right, Nick?� Brian asked.
�Uh, yeah,� Nickolas replied, as Sunshine continued arousing him. �I think I�m getting it in my throat. Nothing to worry about though.�
�Ya better drink some tea with honey before you go to bed tonight,� Brian stated.
�Right, man,� Nickolas said.
�Honey,� Sunshine said trying not to smile and she and Nickolas looked at each other.
�What about it?� Destiny asked.
�Hmm?� Sunshine said.
�You said �honey�,� Kevin reminded her. �What about it?� Sunshine looked at them not knowing what to say. �What about honey?�
�Um, I, uh�� Sunshine began trying to think of something to say.
�Well�� they all said waiting.
�Um, well, I really didn�t want to say anything,� Sunshine began clearing her throat, �but a couple of weeks ago I got this honey rub down by this really�this really sexy guy.�
�Was he straight?� Danielle asked.
�Um, no,� Sunshine replied and Nickolas looked at her. �The massage was really good so of course he was gay. I mean, I asked to call him sometime, but he said he had a boyfriend.�
�Damn,� Danielle said.
�My thoughts exactly,� Sunshine agreed.
�When did ya do this?� Josephine questioned.
�A few weeks ago,� Sunshine answered not totally lying. �We got these certificates from work for a massage.�
�I never got one and I work at Vicky�s Secret with you,� Josephine stated.
�You didn�t get hired when I did,� Sunshine reminded her. �They were only giving them out that month I got hired.�
�Damn,� Josephine said. �I knew I should�ve stuck my app in at the same time.�
�Oh well,� Sunshine said. �If you�ll excuse me though.� She got up and went inside. She went upstairs to Nickolas� bathroom and locked the door behind her. She stood at the sink and took a couple deep breaths, as she remembered what she and Nickolas did with the honey. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn�t get rid of the sensations rushing through her body. She took the phone Nickolas gave her from her pocket and dialed his number. The phone rang three times before someone picked up.
�Hello,� Venus said. Shit, Sunshine thought to herself and then grabbed a rag and covered the mouthpiece. �Hello.�
�Yes,� Sunshine said disguising her voice. �Is Nickolas there? This is his cousin.�
�Just a second,� Venus said and she heard talking in the background.
�Hello,� Nickolas said into the phone and Sunshine removed the rag.
�I need you,� Sunshine said.
�Excuse me?�
�I need you�now.�
�Um, hang on a second.� Sunshine waited a few moments then Nickolas asked, �Where are you?�
�Upstairs in your bathroom.�
�What for?�
�Just get up here, because I need you.�
�Alright, I�m coming. How bad is it?�
�Really bad.�
�So do it yourself. I did.�
�It�s just not the same, Nickolas.� There was a knock. �Is that you?�
�Yes.� Sunshine quickly unlocked the door and opened it and saw Nickolas standing there.
�It�s about time.� She grabbed him and pulled him inside. She relocked the door and started kissing him.
�I guess it is bad.�
�Yeah; and only you can satisfy it.� He smiled and picked her up. He sat her on the sink and she kissed him again. �The talk about the honey was just��
�Too much to handle.�
�Yeah.� He undid her shorts and put his hand inside. He touched her and she moaned, as she slid her hand in his trunks. She started rubbing him, as he started massaging her. �Oh, God, Nick��
�Mmm�Sunnie�� He stuck a finger inside her and her hold on him got tighter and he moaned out, as she rubbed him harder. �Fuck�� He put another finger in her, as he continued massaging her and her hold got even tighter and harder.
�Nick�� He inserted another finger and she arched her back moaning out.
They both started rolling their hips against the others hand and Nickolas stole a few kisses. Sunshine made her movements on Nickolas� faster and just as hard, as Nickolas did the same to her. Sunshine used her free hand and grabbed Nickolas� shirt, as her orgasm neared. Nickolas pulled her closer to him and they continued their movements together and the pleasure raced through them both. Sunshine�s hold on Nickolas got even tighter, as she exploded into his hand at the same time he exploded into her hand. They stayed where they were and just looked at each other smiling.
A few moments passed and Sunshine said, �Thank you.�
�No; thank you.� He kissed her. �Ya know it would be a lot easier if ya just had sex.�
�I ain�t ready and I thought you understood that.�
�I do.�
�Alright then.� She kissed him.
�So about that gay thing?�
�What about it?�
�What was that all about? I am not gay.�
�I wasn�t talking about you.� He just looked at her. �Well not entirely. I did get a massage by a gay though. That wasn�t a lie. There wasn�t any honey involved.�
�Right.�
�What�d you want me to say, Nick? That you and I covered each other in honey and then satisfied each other.�
�Well��
�That�s no one�s business.�
�I guess not. Then it�d be something Howie would try to out do, ya know.� She nodded and kissed him. �Now what?�
�You just go back downstairs and tell them I have a headache and lying down. I�ll be down in a few minutes.�
�Ok.� He kissed her.
�And tell Howie he can go if he wants to. I think he�s getting a little impatient.�
�Whatever.� He kissed her again and walked from the bathroom. Sunshine stood there a moment and walked from the bathroom herself.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sunshine sat on the deck with the others and played in the leftover ketchup on her plate from the French fries she made herself. She sat there doing that a moment and her and Nickolas looked at each other. They both smiled at each other and she reached her foot over and touched his. He smiled, as she put her finger in her mouth and sucked off the ketchup. She slowly took her finger from her mouth and bit her bottom lip.
She pulled her chair in closer to the table and rested her head in her palm, as she got a strawberry from the bowl in front of her. Nickolas watched, as she put part of the fruit in her mouth and took a bite. She smiled at him and he felt her foot go up his leg. She just continued looking at him and he pulled his chair in closer. She put her foot in his swimming trunks and he grinned, as her foot got to his penis. He pushed himself against her foot and she started moving it around. Nickolas cleared his throat and they all looked at him.
�Are you all right, Nick?� Brian asked.
�Uh, yeah,� Nickolas replied, as Sunshine continued arousing him. �I think I�m getting it in my throat. Nothing to worry about though.�
�Ya better drink some tea with honey before you go to bed tonight,� Brian stated.
�Right, man,� Nickolas said.
�Honey,� Sunshine said trying not to smile and she and Nickolas looked at each other.
�What about it?� Destiny asked.
�Hmm?� Sunshine said.
�You said �honey�,� Kevin reminded her. �What about it?� Sunshine looked at them not knowing what to say. �What about honey?�
�Um, I, uh�� Sunshine began trying to think of something to say.
�Well�� they all said waiting.
�Um, well, I really didn�t want to say anything,� Sunshine began clearing her throat, �but a couple of weeks ago I got this honey rub down by this really�this really sexy guy.�
�Was he straight?� Danielle asked.
�Um, no,� Sunshine replied and Nickolas looked at her. �The massage was really good so of course he was gay. I mean, I asked to call him sometime, but he said he had a boyfriend.�
�Damn,� Danielle said.
�My thoughts exactly,� Sunshine agreed.
�When did ya do this?� Josephine questioned.
�A few weeks ago,� Sunshine answered not totally lying. �We got these certificates from work for a massage.�
�I never got one and I work at Vicky�s Secret with you,� Josephine stated.
�You didn�t get hired when I did,� Sunshine reminded her. �They were only giving them out that month I got hired.�
�Damn,� Josephine said. �I knew I should�ve stuck my app in at the same time.�
�Oh well,� Sunshine said. �If you�ll excuse me though.� She got up and went inside. She went upstairs to Nickolas� bathroom and locked the door behind her. She stood at the sink and took a couple deep breaths, as she remembered what she and Nickolas did with the honey. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she couldn�t get rid of the sensations rushing through her body. She took the phone Nickolas gave her from her pocket and dialed his number. The phone rang three times before someone picked up.
�Hello,� Venus said. Shit, Sunshine thought to herself and then grabbed a rag and covered the mouthpiece. �Hello.�
�Yes,� Sunshine said disguising her voice. �Is Nickolas there? This is his cousin.�
�Just a second,� Venus said and she heard talking in the background.
�Hello,� Nickolas said into the phone and Sunshine removed the rag.
�I need you,� Sunshine said.
�Excuse me?�
�I need you�now.�
�Um, hang on a second.� Sunshine waited a few moments then Nickolas asked, �Where are you?�
�Upstairs in your bathroom.�
�What for?�
�Just get up here, because I need you.�
�Alright, I�m coming. How bad is it?�
�Really bad.�
�So do it yourself. I did.�
�It�s just not the same, Nickolas.� There was a knock. �Is that you?�
�Yes.� Sunshine quickly unlocked the door and opened it and saw Nickolas standing there.
�It�s about time.� She grabbed him and pulled him inside. She relocked the door and started kissing him.
�I guess it is bad.�
�Yeah; and only you can satisfy it.� He smiled and picked her up. He sat her on the sink and she kissed him again. �The talk about the honey was just��
�Too much to handle.�
�Yeah.� He undid her shorts and put his hand inside. He touched her and she moaned, as she slid her hand in his trunks. She started rubbing him, as he started massaging her. �Oh, God, Nick��
�Mmm�Sunnie�� He stuck a finger inside her and her hold on him got tighter and he moaned out, as she rubbed him harder. �Fuck�� He put another finger in her, as he continued massaging her and her hold got even tighter and harder.
�Nick�� He inserted another finger and she arched her back moaning out.
They both started rolling their hips against the others hand and Nickolas stole a few kisses. Sunshine made her movements on Nickolas� faster and just as hard, as Nickolas did the same to her. Sunshine used her free hand and grabbed Nickolas� shirt, as her orgasm neared. Nickolas pulled her closer to him and they continued their movements together and the pleasure raced through them both. Sunshine�s hold on Nickolas got even tighter, as she exploded into his hand at the same time he exploded into her hand. They stayed where they were and just looked at each other smiling.
A few moments passed and Sunshine said, �Thank you.�
�No; thank you.� He kissed her. �Ya know it would be a lot easier if ya just had sex.�
�I ain�t ready and I thought you understood that.�
�I do.�
�Alright then.� She kissed him.
�So about that gay thing?�
�What about it?�
�What was that all about? I am not gay.�
�I wasn�t talking about you.� He just looked at her. �Well not entirely. I did get a massage by a gay though. That wasn�t a lie. There wasn�t any honey involved.�
�Right.�
�What�d you want me to say, Nick? That you and I covered each other in honey and then satisfied each other.�
�Well��
�That�s no one�s business.�
�I guess not. Then it�d be something Howie would try to out do, ya know.� She nodded and kissed him. �Now what?�
�You just go back downstairs and tell them I have a headache and lying down. I�ll be down in a few minutes.�
�Ok.� He kissed her.
�And tell Howie he can go if he wants to. I think he�s getting a little impatient.�
�Whatever.� He kissed her again and walked from the bathroom. Sunshine stood there a moment and walked from the bathroom herself.
CHAPTER 40
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