"More Lessons"
I love you all so much! You guys are so nice! And thanks, Rowz, for encouraging me to write this chapter today. Only four lessons this time,
I ran out of ideas, so if you guys have some, please let me know! Thanks for the reviews, everybody! Here's chapter 4 for ya!
ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to the overwhelming 'bring Aragorn back' votes, we (whoever 'we' are) have decided to let Aragorn do more lessons.
Aragorn: Woohoo!
Boromir: Hey, just how many votes were there?
D45: Well, Arien Ranger and WaNdA both said he should teach. And AngelsFall said she'd 'like to see more, (even Aragorn)' and Future Ruler
of the World mentioned his name, so I guess those count as votes, too. So, four.
Boromir: Out of how many reviews?
D45: Eight. But the other four didn't say one way or the other.
Boromir: Hmph.
Aragorn: Face it, Arrow Boy, you just wanted to be the only Man. I would like to thank those of you who voted for doing so. Consider
yourselves promoted to high seats in Gondor. Hey, one of you could even take Boromir's place!
D45: Oh, and WaNdA gave me this wonderful idea for a lesson with you, Aragorn! Anyway, let's get started! Roll fic!
Aragorn: o.O *gulp*
More Lessons (Or, Here We Go Again!)
Lesson One
On The Usefulness of Immortality
With Legolas Greenleaf
Legolas: Hello, everybody! Today's topic is 'The Usefulness of Immortality'. Immortality is a great thing to have. First of all, you have a
lot of time to learn stuff. Why do you think I'm such an expert with a bow? Also, I learned how to draw, play twenty different instruments,
arrange flowers, sew, braid, sharpen knives, bake a souffl�, twist almost anything to my advantage, say as little as possible while still
getting the point across, be the perfect background character, and execute a killer game of poker with all those extra years!
Frodo: So that's how you beat me!
Legolas: That and you're short. I can see your cards.
Frodo: Oh.
Boromir: If you're immortal, why do you fear getting hurt in battle?
Legolas: Elves are immortal, not invincible, Son of Gondor. There is a difference.
Pippin: But I can see you as plain as day!
Legolas: That is invisible, Peregrin. I am not invisible or invincible.
Boromir: So you can't grow old, you can't be hurt, and you can't be seen?
Pippin: No, no, Boromir, he said he was invisible and invincible, but not immortal.
Boromir: Oh, of course. Silly me. *slaps a hand to his forehead*
Legolas: No.but.that.I'm immortal.or was it invincible.or.but.Aaaack! *runs off*
Boromir: *high fives Pippin* Obviously that was too much for him. ^________^
Frodo: *far away* No, Legolas, don't run that way! You'll fall over Rauros Falls if you go over that next hill!!!
Legolas: Ack!
Lesson Two
On How to Pester Elrond Into Letting You Join The Fellowship (Instead of Glorfindel)
With Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck
Pippin: Well, all you've got to do is refuse to do anything else! Besides, I'm cute! Who could resist this face?
Merry: Yeah, it really is easy! Just look at all the Mary-Sues that did it!
Pippin: Shh! You know Aragorn has forbidden us to say that dreaded word! It makes Legolas go into spasms.
Sam: *looks at title of lesson* What's with the (Instead of Glorfindel)?
Merry: Oh, that. Well, the Fellowship was supposed to include him, but he got booted when Pippin joined.
Aragorn: I would have preferred Glorfindel. I wouldn't have had to chase his butt all over Rohan.
Boromir: Yes, and I might have made it through that last battle.
Aragorn: *thinks for a moment* Hmm. Maybe it's better that we had Pippin.
Pippin: I think he just insulted you, Boromir.
Lesson Three
On Avoiding Women Who Have Unhealthy Crushes On You (Suggested by WaNdA)
With Long-shanks Strider/Aragorn-Elessar
Aragorn: This is a wonderful idea?! Who came up with this?!
Frodo: One of the people who said you should keep doing lessons.
Aragorn: Ehehe. This is a wonderful idea! So, umm, how do I start?
Legolas: How 'bout how you got away from Eowyn?
Aragorn: Oh, yes.Eowyn. *shudders* Maybe it was my complete and total indifference and amazing immunity to her flirtatious maneuvers?
Legolas: That really didn't seem to be it to me.
Aragorn: Well, I don't know then. Oh wait! I've got it! All you've got to do is march off to battle and take the Paths of the Dead, where she dareth not to tread!
Legolas: O.o?
Pippin: Or just make sure she falls in love with a certain Gondorian by the name of Faramir.
Aragorn: That works.
Lesson Four
On the Finer Points of Gardening
With Samwise Gamgee
Sam: My first lesson in a while! Ahh, gardening, that beloved pastime. To watch a tiny seedling break free of the earth and taste its first sunrays, to tend each leaf with love, to read in the sweet fruits that nature has given you. That, my friends, is really what life is about. Forget that confounded 'quest' and that evil ring, and live again!
Merry: Help me, someone! He's drawing me in, I can't help it!
Aragorn: Me too! I have an overwhelming urge to sow some seeds!
Frodo: Must.resist.urge.to.garden!
Sam: But it's wonderful! Just think, plants are beautiful, useful, and some of them are tasty, too! Come on, Merry, you like tomatoes! And Aragorn, what about your beloved athelas plant? Frodo, you used to love your garden! What happened to you? Come, garden with me!
Fellowship: We love gardening. @.@
Sam: Mwahaha! I have converted them to. 'The Green Side'!
D45: Ta-da! Well, there's another four lessons for ya! So, in alphabetical order, here we go! Aragorn, what did you learn today?
Aragorn: ^______^ I am liked! Oh, and I just got lucky about getting away from Eowyn. If she hadn't been injured, I might not have a lovely Elven wife! And I love gardening.
D45: o.O Boromir, you're next.
Boromir: I learned that Elves go psycho if you confuse them. I learned I'm your favorite character. I learned someone named Eowyn is in love with Faramir (that's weird). I learned that Aragorn would rather me die than not chase Halflings all over Rohan (glare). And I learned that I love gardening.
D45: O.O Umm.right. Frodo, did you get anything of value out of today's lessons?
Frodo: Legolas cheats at cards. Aragorn needs to pay better attention to whom his rude comments are aimed at. I like gardening.
D45: Uh oh, I'm sensing a pattern here. Gandalf, you're up.
Gandalf: I didn't learn anything. I didn't even have a line. But I love gardening.
D45: *looks over chapter* Oops, sorry, Gandalf. Legolas?
Legolas: We're somewhere near Rauros Falls? But really, a hobbit and a Man can drive an Elf insane with similar words, I can do anything if I have enough time on my hands (flying is next!), Aragorn is useless when it comes to avoiding people, and I love gardening.
D45: Yup, we're at Amon Hen.
Legolas: Then where did the snow come from a bit back?
D45: It snowed. Merry!
Merry: Pippin and I are just too cute! Also, tomatoes are good and I love gardening.
D45: Hmm. Pippin, what did you learn?
Pippin: I'm too cute, Legolas in easily freaked out, Boromir is a good partner in crime, it pays to be an honorary Guard of Gondor, and I love gardening!
D45: *raises eyebrow* No, really. Sam, what didja learn?
Sam: I might have preferred Glorfindel. I like doing lessons. And everybody loves gardening! Mwahaha!
D45: *gulp* Um, well, that's all for today! Suggestions are, as always, greatly appreciated! Thanks again for all the nice reviews! Thanks for reading this! Have a nice day!
Hobbits: And support P.E.T.H.! Hobbits will thanks you!
Now be a nice reader and fill out the review form!
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