"In the Middle-Earth Bookshelves"

Genre: Humor

Rating: G

Disclaimer: I am in no way, financially or otherwise, affiliated with JRR Tolkein, the Tolkein estate, New Line Cinema, Peter Jackson, Ralph Bakshi, the copyright holders of �Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring: The Motion Picture�, Sony Music, EMI Records, Cheese-In-A-Can, Star Wars, John Williams, Apple Macintosh, the People�s Republic of China, The H.M.S Titanic, Enya, the Millennium Bug, Daewoo or �Digimon: Digital Monsters�.



Some book that are unlikely to be stocked by your local newsagent:

~*~ Care and Maintainance of Ancient Family Heirlooms: by Aragorn

~*~ Samwise Gamgee's Guide to Being Useful, co-written by Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck

~*~ Letting Go of the Past: by Gollum

~*~ It's a Man's World: by �owyn

~*~ Peaceful Walks and Trails Compiled by Frodo Baggins

~*~ If You Go Down To The Woods Today...: by Gimli

~*~ Fatty's Quick-And-Easy Weight Loss Program

~*~ Jaws: by Saruman, aka Sharkey

~*~ The New and Reformed Council Rule Book: by Gandalf

~*~ Get In Touch With Yourself: by Aragorn... Uh, Strider... Well, maybe Elfstone...

~*~ How To Get The Most Out Of Your Horse: by Nazg�l

~*~ Interior Decorating: by The Elves

~*~ The Great Outdoors: by The Dwarves

~*~ Hoard of the Rings: by Smaug

~*~ Counting To Ten On Your Fingers: by Frodo

~*~ There And Back Again. Again: by Bilbo Baggins

~*~ Indigestion: by Mount Doom

~*~ Row, Row, Row your Boat: by Boromir

~*~ Little Scared Walking Hobbit and the Thirteen Dwarves: by Bilbo

~*~ How To Win Friends And Be The Most Desirable Being On Middle-Earth: by Legolas Greenleaf

~*~ Warrior Princessing For Beginners: by Arwen

~*~ Gone With the Wind: by Shadowfax

~*~ The Magic Mirror Programming Guide: by Galadriel

~*~ I Hate Bakshi, Jackson And Arwen: The Autobiography of Glorfindel

~*~ Five and a Half Seconds of Screen Time: by Celeborn

~*~ I�m Not Dead: by Gandalf

~*~ "Black Hawk Down" Is Going To Make A Ton Of Money At The Box Office Because Hormonal Teenage Girls Want To See Orlando Bloom Acting In It (Mwahahaha): by Ridley Scott

~*~ Eye Care: by Sauron

~*~ Me, Myself and Arwen: by Aragorn

~*~ The Do�s And Do Not�s Of Being A King: by King Elessar Elfstone

~*~ The Sixties: by Saruman of Many Colours

~*~ 101 Uses For Big Blue Eyes: by Frodo Baggins

~*~ The Big Book Of Advice For Any Situation: by Elrond

~*~ Tales From Around The Bonfire: by Denethor

~*~ You Can Take Our Freedom, But You�ll Never Take Our Lives!: A Collaboration by the �Free People� of Middle-Earth

~*~ The Great Debate (Volume 1): Who Was The First-Born?: by Tom Bombadil, the Ents and the Elves

~*~ The Great Debate (Volume 2): I Have Wings, Dammit!: by the Balrog

~*~ The Secret World Of Duality: by Elrond Smith

~*~ I Helped Kill The Witch-King And All I Got Was This Lousy Thainship: by Meriadoc Brandybuck



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