She hides under her bed
as she hears him call her name
Saying that he will punish her
and that she is to blame ~
"You know you mustn't do it
don't get daddy mad
You'll be sorry when I get you!"
why must she be so bad?

Too afraid to even move
as tears sting her eyes
Knowing that if he catches her
she mustn't tell him lies ~
She has to say it was her fault
it's what he wants to hear
He'll teach her not to answer back
inflicting her with fear.

She hears his footsteps on the stairs
and anger in his voice
Knowing that he'll still find her
she doesn't have a choice ~
Bracing herself for what's to come
she dare not even breathe
Fearing his horrible punishments
and the scars that they leave.

Shivering with fear she sees him
walk into her room
And crouch to where he sees her
as she feels a sense of doom ~
He takes ahold of her arms
and drags her along the floor
Chastising her with angry kicks
till she can take no more.

He smashes things and yells at her
"Do you think we're ****ing rich?
Why must you always be so bad,
you ungrateful little bitch?"
"Please, Daddy, I didn't mean to!
I'll clean it up you'll see"
Thinking as tears blinded her,
maybe then you will love me.

But daddy has other plans
to teach her once again
That she must not disobey
the palm of his hand ~
He takes her to the cupboard
that sits beneath the stairs
As she screams in fear that she'll behave
but he ignores her pleas.

He throws her into the darkness
tells her not to make a sound
Sneering at her with such distaste,
as she huddles on the ground ~
He then double locks the latches
and quietly walks away
While he leaves her locked in silence
for another two more days.

With no food or water
she becomes very weak
She doesn't have the energy
to breathe or to speak ~
As she lays in the darkness
she can't do it anymore
And as she begins to close her eyes
daddy opens up the door.

He picks her up gently
a loving smile on his face
There's no sign of his anger
with that look of distaste ~
He's not the man who punished her
he is her loving dad
Who loves her when she is good
and hates her when she's bad.

This is the daddy she remembers
not the monster he becomes
When he wants to take out his anger;
see the damage that he's done ~
The little girl that he adored
once the essence of his pride
Now is but a frightened child
who now only wants to hide.

As he reads her a story
and tucks her into bed
He smiles at her with apologies
of the horrible things he said ~
"You know why I had to do it
you shouldn't get me mad,"
Nodding she knows it was her fault,
as she says "goodnight, dad."

That night while she lay sleeping
the dreams in her head
Told her to be careful
of all she did and said ~
For no matter how hard she tries
to rise above her pain
Daddy will always punish her
for making him mad again.

©  Christina
2nd November, 2001

"This is the first poem I have written on child (physcial) abuse, and it wasn't entirely easy as it took me months to write this poem.  I couldn't complete it some months ago, but did so now.  Here I depict the child in fear of her father and his anger, and the monster he is when he's like this....but then he changes back to the daddy she knows and loves.   She doesn't understand why he changes and why he is so angry ~ she only knows that he is sometimes, that she is to blame and that she must pay for it."