She's a beautiful girl of just 15
with sorrow in her eyes
Masked by a smiling face and laughter
while a part of her dies ~
Her clothes are baggy, tattered and worn
to hide what can't be seen
And while she pretends to all her friends
inside she feels unclean.

She imagines she is still a girl
when she's all alone
Trying to hide her new beauty
and how much she has grown ~
She wears no make-up or fancy clothes
and doesn't style her hair
But still she shines from deep within
though she doesn't seem to care.

She was just twelve years old
as she started to grow
Becoming so much more beautiful
than she will ever know ~
Then in the silence of one night
when daddy's little girl
Became a woman in her bed
trapped in a different world.

She was old enough to understand
but too young to disobey
Confused by her morality
the shame of it would stay ~
She did not want to disappoint
the daddy that she loved
While he took her into another world
of this new "family love".

She has hidden this dark secret
for three lonely years
With the shame and the sadness
of her silent tears ~
The beauty of her innocence
has been taken away
By the one she loved and trusted,
she has been betrayed.

No one knows her secret pain
he told her not to tell
The scars she carries for those sins
she knows only too well ~
The shame in everybody knowing
the "family love" they share
Their pointed fingers and silent whispers
are more than she can bear.

So as she carries her silent guilt
her eyes fill with tears
Thinking that it will be like this
for the rest of her teenage years ~
To hear the creaking of her door
in the middle of the night
Opening to reveal the one
who will be with her tonight.

The tears she weeps in solitude
behind her closed door
Reflects the pain that tortures her
until she feels no more ~
Her innocence no longer fills
the emptiness of her soul
As she forgets she lost her youth
when she was twelve years old.

© Christina
27th June, 2001

"Child sexual abuse is a sad crime ~ and silent.   This poem portrays a young girl who has endured the horror and shame of incest, when she lost her youth at twelve years old.    The tears, the loneliness and the shame of her secret stays with her.  She dare not tell anyone.   Her youth is lost, her innocence is lost.   And she never forgets the end of her innocence...."

Child sexual abuse is not only incest, but sexual crimes against children.   It is a sad crime that many do not see, but the victim will always know.   In my words I hope to show the pain and loneliness one feels in abusive situations.   And when a child is a victim of sexual abuse, sadly it is the end of their innocence.