She stood in front of the mirror
dabbing make-up on her face
She covers up the bruises
and fixes her hair in place ~
She stares at her reflection
with her tear-filled eyes
And pulls herself together
while silently she cries.

She goes into the kitchen
and cleans up the mess
Broken dishes scattered and crushed
like pieces of happiness ~
She sweeps the floor of eggshells
and cleans furniture of glass
She knows as she restores order
this will not be the last.

She quietly fixes dinner
though she winces in pain
She mustn't show how much she hurt
just to set him off again ~
She never stops to think about it
while he's still around
No time to ponder who's to blame
she never makes a sound.

She dreads the time to go to bed
as the clock ticks away
She knows what will come next
and she know she must obey ~
And while he lay there sleeping
she gets up from their bed
She showers to wash away the filth
and to somehow clear her head.

The only time to be herself
in the middle of the night
She can stop to think and cry her tears
in the shadow of the moonlight ~
She wonders what had happened
to change the man she loved?
So full of love and promises
he was all that she dreamed of.

But time told a different story
after a year of wedded bliss
She cries as she remembers
it wasn't mean to be like this ~
She wondered what went wrong
for better or for worse
No flowers, just a broken jaw
to mark their wedded first.

They had so many dreams they shared
so much they had planned
So why does he now shatter them
with his tight-fisted hand?
She knows it will never be the same
every time she looks at him
The memories of love they once shared
are now growing dim.

So as she wipes away her tears
and pulls herself together
She knows that it will never change
it'll be this way forever ~
And as she climbs back into bed
beside the man who now brings her pain
She turns the light out in her soul
knowing he will always do it again.

©  Christina
4th March, 2001
 

"Domestic abuse was very real to me, and since I feel very deeply for all who experience it.   This poem was not written about anyone in particular, but rather I have remembered all the abuse, the feelings, the emptiness and hopelessness of my previous marriage and have written about any woman in this situation.   For to those who are in this situation, this is how it is for them....and it is very lonely."