Thundera Tiger presents...

The Somewhat Less-Than-Definitive Middle-earth Mary Sue Classification Quiz

So the other day you "accidentally" found yourself Middle-earth...

You say you're in Middle-earth but that you don't actually belong there? Chances are you've fallen victim to the Mary Sue Effect. The past few years have witnessed a surge of individuals caught up in this strange phenomenon. Large numbers of people born in modern times have inexplicably found themselves transported in one way or another to Middle-earth. Inspired by a ground-breaking scientific report offered up by top field researcher Bryn, I have attempted to document and categorize several varieties of Mary Sue. So if you are one of the many that has been mysteriously pulled into Middle-earth and have consequently interacted with its denizens, answer these simple questions to see where you fall in the Mary Sue classification.

Note: Some classifications DO overlap. This quiz is only meant to find which category BEST fits you. Several may apply. Also, the broad class of Romantic Mary Sue has been omitted since most already fall into that category. This survey seeks more defining classifications.

Another note: You must have JavaScripted enabled for this to work, and you might need to disable your pop-up blocker to see the quiz results, though many pop-up blockers will allow the results window to open anyway. The pop-up blockers that I've tested will.

Disclaimer Note: This survey and its results are done in fun and are not meant to offend or single out anyone. Middle-earth and its denizens are the property of the Tolkien Estate, and the pictures used on this site are the property of Jonathon Earl Bowser. Please visit his website for information on legal uses of these images. Additionally, much of the code used was inspired by Geoff Ellingwood's "What D&D character are you?" If you have any questions or wish to comment, feel free to contact me (Thundera Tiger) via email or post a comment in my Livejournal.

1. You are in Middle-earth because...

I was born here. Where else would I be?
I don't remember. There was a strange light and then...nothing.
A call was issued for the bravest and the best. I was chosen.
No clue, but I'm here and I'm loving it!
I was seeking after darkness and fell into shadow.
I cannot reveal that. Ilúvatar has not told the Valar all that he intends.

2. What is your relationship to the story and/or the characters?

I am a randomly selected tenth member of the Fellowship.
I am the tenth Ringwraith.
I am Aragorn's long-lost older sister.
I am a refugee from Gondolin considering solace in the West.
I am the favored target of Orcs, trolls, wraiths, and Neekerbreekers.
I'll get back to you on that one. First, I need to find out where the story's going.

3. What was the first thing you did in Middle-earth?

I saved Frodo from a pack of rabid wolverines.
I swooned and was rescued by a group of passing Rohirrim.
I became separated from my people, who were summarily destroyed.
I was born.
I panicked.
I commandeered a party of Orcs and began hunting.

4. Your Middle-earth experiences include... (select all that apply)

A discussion with Glorfindel on Balrogs and wings.
Seducing all the cute elves and Rangers.
Single-handedly defeating Boromir in unarmed combat.
A visit to my ancestral kingdom.
The routine chores of a peasant girl in a rural village.
Regularly scheduled fainting episodes.
Spilling the blood of my family's murderers.
Burning and pillaging.
A desperate search for answers. Any answers.

5. What character is easiest to connect with?

Eomer. He is a worthy comrade in battle.
Isildur. We're related.
Morgoth. Long have I studied his works.
Imrahil. No one seems to know who he is, despite the fact that he takes command of Minas Tirith after Denethor dies.
Pippin. He's blamed for everything, but he means well.
Legolas. He's hot.

6. What is your favorite location?

Aman. I imagine what Laurelin and Telperion looked like.
Faramir's arms. I feel safe there.
Any battlefield. I love the smell of blood.
Rivendell. Things forgotten are remembered there.
Mirkwood. I brood in the darkness.
Home. Which, of course, is a small and unassuming hovel just outside of Minas Tirith strategically placed to become the site of many important plot points.

7. What is your favorite weapon?

An axe. Wonderfully efficient when it comes to death.
A secret and mystical pendant which only I comprehend.
A Morgul knife. Good for stalking at night.
A composite static recurve bow. Enough said.
A sword. It is the weapon of a true warrior.
Anything I can master quickly.
I don't believe in violence.

8. Has another character ever died for you?

Yes. Many times. Over and over again.
Yes, but it was part of the natural story process.
Yes. Once. I have vowed to avenge him.
No. I am humble and demure. None would ever die for me.
No. I need no protection. My sword slays all.
No, not for me. Because of me, but not for me.

9. Have you ever brought another character back to life?

Yes. I created a magical elixir from my tears and a mystical plant.
Yes. Then I forced my will upon his unsuspecting mind.
Yes, but I'm not entirely sure how.
No. The giving and taking of life requires Eru's power.
No, but the character's death made possible my ascension to the throne, so it was a worthy sacrifice.
No. They all perished, and I couldn't bring any of them back.

10. Have you ever died?

Yes. More times than I can count.
Yes. In Haldir's arms. Wow, what a rush!
You know, that's a distinct possibility.
No, but everyone around me seems to.
No. I try to avoid dangerous situations.
No. None can overcome me!

11. Have you ever been brought back to life?

Yes. It's now something of a habit.
Yes. Those who opposed me were greatly surprised.
Yes. It is part of the epic hero journey.
Yes, and it was great! All these hot guys were standing over me!
Not yet. I am still within Mandos.
No. I never died in the first place.

12. What did the Fellowship do in Moria?

They discovered the remains of my ancient kingdom.
They found some nasty bones and the dwarf threw a fit, but the elf looked great!
Moria? Where is that again?
They rescued me a lot.
They found the Chamber of Mazarbul, roused a Balrog, and lost Gandalf.
I don't know about the Fellowship, but I defeated the Watcher, the Balrog, the troll, several hundred Orcs, and carried everyone across the bridge.

13. What is your favorite Middle-earth creature?

A horse. It's good for travel.
A unicorn! It's so pretty!
A spider. I can extract its venom for my weapons.
A swan. It reminds me of Alqualondë.
A puppy. It's safe.
A Warg. It possesses unbridled fury.
A mûmakil. It is a suitable mount for one so gifted as I.

14. While in Middle-earth, you saw... (select all that apply)

Many glorious battles.
The rebirth of a new order.
Tinker Bell.
The awesome might of a Dark Lord.
Heroes worthy of worship.
Needless destruction.
Very little. I was usually unconscious.

15. Have you ever slain a Balrog?

That's the big, ugly, fiery thing in the dark place, right?
Yes. Several times. Want to see the scars?
Yes. I destroyed the one that ransacked my lost kingdom.
No. I make sure that Gandalf, Glorfindel, and Ecthelion are around to do that.
No. I tried to, but I died instantly.
No, but I am taking notes about those who have.

16. Do you speak Westron, Rohirric, Khuzdul, Sindarin, Nandorin, Quenya, Adûnaic, Doriathrin, Avarin, Orkish, Entish, or any other language of Middle-earth?

No, but I've got English. I'm good.
Westron only, though I can pick up on the others sometimes.
I know everything but Entish. I also know a bit of Telerin and Taliska.
I am a master of all tongues.
You mean I'm supposed to know another language?!

17. What was your greatest accomplishment during your stay in Middle-earth?

I reformed Sauron!
I set a new record for number of kills.
I enhanced the Tolkien canon.
I saved Aragorn the trauma of looking into the palantír and did it myself.
I recalled a long-forgotten spell that filled Mordor with cute bunnies.
I was captured by every breed of Orc from here to Rhûn.

18. Did Arwen marry Aragorn, and if so, did she become queen of Gondor?

Yes to both, and they took me under their wing to protect me.
Yes, because I counseled them to do so. And under my guidance she made a very good queen.
Yes, Arwen married Aragorn, but the throne of Gondor was actually mine so she didn't become queen of Gondor.
No, because I remembered that I was actually betrothed to Aragorn, so Arwen couldn't have him.
No, because Aragorn decided to remain a Ranger and travel the wilds with me.
No, because Arwen was secretly behind the destruction of my home. Aragorn refused to marry her when he found out.

19. How did your sojourn in Middle-earth conclude?

After my death, the Argonath was torn down and a statue of me built in its place.
I returned to my own time and place.
I lived out a normal life and died in my hometown where all attended my funeral.
It didn't. I still haunt the plains of Rohan in the night.
I sailed over the seas with Legolas and Gimli.
Mandos finally said I couldn't go back anymore. Something about death not having a revolving door policy.

20. If a friend of yours decided to travel to Middle-earth, you might advise her to... (select all that apply)

Keep her hands off the elf. He's mine.
Stock up on non-perishable supplies. They run out faster than you'd think.
Invest in armor. Sword wounds are no joke.
Keep a detailed journal of all the characters. By the end of the story, they're crawling out of the woodwork!
Keep doctored pedigree charts on hand at all times. Rank counts for a lot.
Visit historic Barad-dûr and journey through Mordor's backcountry. It's nicer than what people lead you to believe.
Venture out on her own once in a while. The Fellowship actually does more walking than fighting.
Adopt a convincing and believable alias. Not everybody accepts you on face value.
Avoid taking on an entire army of trolls all by herself. It's not as easy as it looks.

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