price for her sin and
at last the outside
matches the in."
-Escape by Camryn
Everyone tells me I'm so lucky. I have a wonderful family, get good grades, live in a beautiful house in a wealthy area, have great friends. If only they knew the truth.
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| .Quotes.from.A.Bright.Red.Scream.by.Marilee.Strong. | ||||||||||||||
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| By silencing their children's voices they force them to find another language - primitive and destructive - to speak their truths. | They are secretive and their activity is often unknown by those around them. Shame, rejection, and the disparaging labels they face when they are dismissed as simply 'crazy' or 'psychotic' or 'attention seeking' (If I wanted attention there are easier ways to get then with a razor blade) all conspire to keep them silent, isolated, and underground. | |||||||||||||
| .Click here to go to Self-Injury Quotes II. | ||||||||||||||
| The discovery that a child is a cutter sometimes causes parents to make matters worse. When the scars are uncovered and the depth of their child's pain is revealed, some parents respond with anger and annoyance rather than sympathy and understanding. | ||||||||||||||
| Self-injurers are often bright, talented, creative achievers - perfectionist who cover their pain with a happy face, people-pleasers who push themselves beyond all human bounds. | ||||||||||||||
| "She pays such a terrible price for her sin and at last the outside matches the in." -Escape by Camryn |
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| In actuality, we were all at war with out bodies, although eating disorders are much more socially acceptable. | ||||||||||||||
| The first time I cut I just wanted people to see how much pain I was in. I wanted somebody to notice me. | ||||||||||||||
| I knew I would cut again. I loved my scars too much. I loved the control that cutting gave me over my body. | ||||||||||||||
| It would be nice if someone just asked, "Why?" | ||||||||||||||
| She felt empty inside, like a black hole was consuming her, cell by cell. "When I'm silent and still I can fell that hole; it feels like my chest will cave in. I am afraid that beneath the surface - beneath all my false fronts, all my walls, all my pretending, all my protecting, all my years of being unable to speak what is inside me - that there is no me left." | ||||||||||||||
| Suddenly I saw my future as so bleak and hopeless... | ||||||||||||||
| I watched the blood well up and I felt relief, like opening a safty valve or letting the steam out of a covered pot. | ||||||||||||||
| I would carry a razor blade around in my pocket book and sometimes even go into the ladies' room at work just to nick at myself a little - anything not to explode. It was a lot safer than keeping it all inside. | ||||||||||||||
| All I could envision was this void of darkness so empty that I felt like throwing up. I cried because I knew that it would always be inside me - this empty sadness that would never go away, that could never be explained. | ||||||||||||||
| Too Deep For Tears: Everyone tells me I'm so lucky. I have a wonderful family, get good grades, live in a beautiful house in a wealthy area, have great friends. If only they knew the truth. |
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| There is no hazy line. If I'm suicidal I want to die. When I'm self-injuring, I want to relieve emotional pain. Suicide is a permanent exit. Self-injury helps me get though the moment. | ||||||||||||||
| There are times when I just hurt too bad - too deep for tears - so I cut and it lets out some of the hurt. It's like when you see the blood flowing out, the pain and fear are flowing out with it. Or at least I want them to. I guess they never really do. | ||||||||||||||
| Scars, like blood, are also richly symbolic. They provide a permanent, physical record not only of pain and injury but also of healing. "Scars signify an on-going battle that is not lost." Scars are especially usefull as historical markers when one's own memory and consciousness cannot be trusted. | ||||||||||||||
| Sometimes I self-injure to make myself feel something because I'm just totally numb. Other times I cut to make myself numb because I can't deal with what I'm feeling. It's just something I need, and probably will for a long time. | ||||||||||||||
| Cutting has great meaning for those who do it. That meaning, however, is ofter kept hidden and unspoken because of the secrets it reveals and the shame it attracts. It is like a secret code known only by those who take the time to listen. | ||||||||||||||
| I'm still here. God knows why, but I am. I don't know my plans for the future. I guess to live until tomorrow, to make it one more day. Right now, my goal is to make it five more minutes, then five more. | ||||||||||||||
| He fantasizes about showing his mother his scar-riddled arms on Mother's Day and telling her, "The cheerful, happy, perfect boy you think you raised doesn't exist." | ||||||||||||||
| We all feel good when a wound heals, but cutters need that feeling. It gives them the illusion that they are healing, that their skin and psyche can hold themselves. | ||||||||||||||
| If you've ever experienced a terrible trauma, like the death of a loved one, have you ever noticed that you feel like you're not walking on the ground? You're just so numb... | ||||||||||||||
| "Scars are stories, history written on the body."-Kathyryn Harrison | ||||||||||||||
| When a child's feeling and perceptions are actively denied or minimized by her parents, the child's ability to develop a language of feelings is stunted, and she is left with a mute hopelessness about the possibility of communicating in a way that will help her ger her critical needs met. Words then seem to take on terrifying proportions; they are both too poerful and completely useless. Emotions are so damned up that sadness seems annihilating, rage ofter feels murderous. | ||||||||||||||
| Self-mutilation provides concrete expression for the pain they feel inside - a language written on the body through blood, wounds, and scars. | ||||||||||||||
| When words fail us, tears will spontaneously fall. Tears communicate powerfully, forcefully, and honestly what we feel inside. | ||||||||||||||
| Cutters, however, are either too numb to cry or find tears woefully inadequate to express and release the overwhelming, pent up emotions they feel. | ||||||||||||||
| They say I have all these options: I can call people, I can talk to people. I know I have options but they aren't even on the same level as cutting. If they were I wouldn't have to go to such extremes. | ||||||||||||||