GULF WAR 2 : OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM

GULF WAR 2 : OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM is certainly a better conflict than the last one. Like any sequel, it has to go one better than the original. There�s more guns. More explosions. More veiled women. And more everything. Bigger bombs! Bigger lies! Bigger bodycounts! And it�s all delivered free to your TV. You don�t even have to go to the cinema to witness the spectacle of the apocalypse.

First and foremost, there�s the plot. There�s no way to take this war seriously : the plot is just a tad too ridiculous to be anything other than a parody of a war. From the pre-credits sequence (where cunning terrorists hijack planes and fly them into the World Trade Center) to the Doomsday Final Battle that climaxes the war and results in the destruction of the world, this war is EPIC in scope and epic in the brazen liberties it takes with the truth. .

Remember at the end of the first war, where Saddam appeared defeated? Well, unable to think up a new bad guy, the sequel has him miraculously still in power - despite being defeated in the last one. And now President Bush, well, not the original one - but his near-identical clone son - has taken the throne and is seeking to save the world from war by starting a war. Admittedly that is stretching it a bit, and the idea of a Mini-Me returning to avenge his fallen father is a bit akin to a bad Friday the 13th movie, but plot isn�t the strong point of this sequel.

Sounds difficult? Trust me, the plot�s pretty darn bad, and the dialogues pretty darn sucky too - the all-powerful �New World Order� has been replaced by the less-ominous �Axis Of Evil�, and the new Bush isn�t as good at delivering his lines as the one in the first movie. He looks like he�s reading off a cue card. Still, the Bush in the first movie had been in a war before, whilst the new Bush is a draft-dodger, so he�s Shatneresque performance is understandable, if not exactly excusable.

To compensate for this, the new War has some amazing special effects. There�s an all-new 21,000 pound MOAB. We don�t know what that stands for, but we think it�s the Mother Of All Bombs. It�ll give you widescreen viewing pleasure with explosions that dwarf the original war. Surprisingly enough, this is Bush�s latest killer gadget. You just wait until you saw the awesome specks of dust that Saddam has as the ace up his sleeve. Chemical Weapons that nobody can find. Which is good for the budget, because America�s running out of money and they haven�t got enough money to build a secret Chemical Weapon Base in a Hollowed Out Volcano - instead all we get to see is a load of rubble. Which is a shame, but Bush�s awesome new 21,000lb gadget and all those explosions should keep the propellorheads happy.

The music�s better than the last one as well. Last time round, the Gulf War Movie suffered from �off the shelf� artists such as EMF, Iron Maiden, and Betty Boo. Thankfully this time round the soundtrack�s a bit more apt : todays top acts have specially recorded music, largely inspired by the previous War, as well as a few charity albums of their own. A quick listen to concept albums by bands such as Ministry�s �Psalm 69� and Roger Waters �Amused to Death�, all of which deal in apocalypse, global conflict, and television and were recorded immediately after the first Gulf War, are more than enough to convince me the �Music From And Inspired By The Movie� soundtrack CD is imminent. This War, and make no mistakes, Rocks, Shocks and Awes you.

Extras on this updated war are the audio commentaries and multi-angle options. With an ever-present multi-angle option the viewer can enjoy the war from a variety of perspectives. However, you should be aware that all the footage on this Special Collectors Edition war has been vetted by the US Censor. In order to secure a PG rating, video footage of charred corpses and headless soldiers have been removed. Similarly the bad guys have all been reduced to badly-overdubbed towelheads in moustaches. Just like any other American sequel. Which is a shame, but typical of a dumbed down blockbuster.

The audio commentaries are also fascinating : you can flick through the variety of options : CNN, NBC, ITV, New24, and the BBC, but unfortunately all seem to be repetitions of the same. Insert the war into your computer for an altogether more illuminating experience as �easter egg� commentaries by Al-Jareeza and other independent sites offer you exclusive behind-the-scenes footage of what really happened during the war.

Overall, GULF WAR 2: OPERATION IRAQI FREEDOM is a typical American Sequel. The plot has more holes than Swiss Cheese, the bad guys are portrayed as gibbering chimp loons, but the effects are stunning and the extras features are superficially fascinating, but soon pale when you realise you�re just being told the same thing five different ways. If you absolutely must watch, switch your brain off and accept it for the rollercoaster ride of hypocrisy and explosions it is, because if you want a honest depiction of war, and the causes of war, then GULF WAR 2 isn�t it.

3/5

Gulf War 2 is now available on all major news Channel as streaming audio and video.