MONSTERS END

The creature looked at me. A hugely distended nose terminated in a grey stub. Two small eyes were flanked by large ears the colour of old flesh. Around its chest, it bore the distinctive mark of its species. A yellow circle and a black semi three-quarter circle inside. In it�s arms it held something. Some large and grey. This too bore the symbols of the beast.

I approached. I knew that if I touched it it would scream. It�s vocal chords, twisted beyond all recognition, would shred my ears and those of surrounding animals with noise. I didn�t even want to acknowledge the creatures existence, let alone the fact that it stared at me reproachfully with large, unblinking, eyes.

Nervously I touched it, trying not to arouse it. I didn�t want to be reminded of what happened the last time i heard it�s voice. Of a time when I wasn�t so cynical, so bitter, so faithless. Faith is believining in things when common sense tells you not to. I used to believe in love.

She gave me this 364 days ago. On it�s chest were just eight small words. �I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK.� : but she couldn�t even love me until the summer. She might have thought she loved me, but four months later, we were history. I was exiled to the moon. With no way back.

It�s over. I was raped by love. Used, abused, and thrown away. Nothing is permanent. Every heart breaks. Every lover leaves. Nothing lasts forever anymore.

And so this creature, this thing, was the last manifestation. To throw this totem away is to admit : love did not prevail. Love failed. Or, more correctly, someone failed me.

In a wardrobe in the countryside is a wedding dress that once made me the happiest I thought I could be. Now, along with every photo, every video, every remnant of a life I once had, it is neglected. Ignored. As if I never existed. An unperson. An unhusband.

Time for a new life. Like she threw me away, I picked up The Clanger and threw it away. Time to pretend. I was never married. To learn from my mistake. The biggest mistake I ever made. The biggest lesson I ever learned. There are bad people. Some bad people are men. Some bad people are women. But you've got to keep loving. There isn't enough love in the world. It's easy to be cruel. It's much harder to be kind. It's much harder to love. It's a brave man who loves in the face of cruelty and in the face of lovers who betray everything and everyone.

I am that man.