markreed.cjb.net : The Matrix : Reviled

WHAT IS THE MATRIX?

The Matrix is some incredibly successful, slightly paranoid trilogy of movies that just aren�t anywhere near as good as they think they are.

Sure. Life is weird and fucked up, and it�s very easy to believe that we�re all living in some computer generated simulacra, because there�s no way human ingenuity can conceive a world this wrong, can it?

Well, yeah it can. But that�s another issue.

The problem with aspiring to greatness is that sometimes, when you aren�t as great as you think you are, you just end up looking stupid. And I came out of The Matrix : Revolutions feeling stupid. Not because I�m not smart, but because I actually thought that The Matrix, Reloaded and Revolutions could�ve been good and I spent 390 minutes finding out it isn�t.

It�s always slightly disappointing to see hundred of millions of dollars thrown at movies that aren�t quite as clever as you are.

The Matrix at least has one good idea. That reality isn�t real at all, and that every sensory perception of ours is nothing more and less than an artifice.

I remember when The Matrix first came out. The first time I saw it, in July 1999, I had the same feelings that Neo did. Whoa.

The internet, as it was then in it�s infancy, was in itself a sort of precursor of The Matrix : a virtual world where one can create one�s own identity and immerse oneself within it. But more than that, in the summer of 1999, the internet was aflame.

I would keep getting emails from my friends in the States � spewing forth emails, all of which went like �The Matrix is my life! It�s so real! It�s what I always thought was happening and now it�s true!�. A paranoid is always in company on the Internet. But more than that, The Matrix appalled to the Inner Paranoid.

The Matrix was the type of the film that didn�t need a sequel. It didn�t need Reloaded. Or Revolutions. It just needed to be. In the same way that Christopher Reeve really didn�t need to make Superman IV : Quest For Peace, finds itself cheapened by the films that come afterwards.

The original movie needed no sequel. It was perfect : a self-contained, original, audacious concept movie that completely blew open the sci-fi genre. It showed people that sci-fi doesn�t have to be crap : that sci-fi can be a vehicle to forward original concepts and ideas about what it is to be who you are. Most sci-fi movies are just a load of money plunged into CGI effects, with a script they found out on the back of a fag packet, and low grade acting. Which is exactly what Matrix / Reloaded / Revolutions is.

The Matrix explained nothing, showed everything, and told you just a little something about the world we all live in. Just a little. Just enough to start us thinking for ourselves. A little thought is good, but too much thought is no good. And where all the thought is not about what it means, but how to get like, really cool looking machines on that screen.

So here we are.

In The Matrix : Reloaded we get some self-aggrandising self-mythologising rubbish, a whole bunch of useless characters, an illogical plot arc that tries to explain too much, shows too much, and says too little. Nothing is more boring than someone who mistakes saying something with having something to say.

Trust me, sometimes I might not have too much to say, so I don�t say nothing. And I don�t make a pretentious bullshit trilogy that steals from every genre and mashes them together like a live-action Anime movie. Reloaded is particularly sad : the famed Bullet-time stop motion effect that was The Matrix�s trademark starts to be used for such high-octane sequences as Trinity walking down a corridor, and Morpheus (named after the Greek God of Boredom I suspect) decides that the only way to show resistance to The Evil Machines is to hold a rave, replete with strobe lighting and loud techno designed specifically to be put on The Soundtrack Album Of The Year.

And then there�s the long expository sequences where The Architect (who that? Oh, he�s God � some bizarre meaningless character borrowed from mythology), tries to explain everything, but does so in such a fashion that nobody can understand what he�s saying. Probably not because we can�t understand him, but because what he says is beyond being understood by anyone. He�s a Bullshit Major painting the walls of the cinema with incoherent babble.

And then of course there�s the characters that appear and reappear without explanation, pacing that beats like a fucked clock, and effects that well, let�s not call them very special.

I didn�t even mention the script did I? The fact that various characters can do things like fly, take over other characters, and generally do Superhero type stuff. Shame is, they can only do it for one sequence, or one scene � and their amazing flying trick or their kung fu jujitsu mumbo jumbo is forgotten by the next scene so that Neo doesn�t appear to be some invincible Superman. But I�ve never seen a film that�s so obviously has complete contempt for its own internal logic, let alone the real world.

Rule One : in Sci-Fi if you are going to create your own world, it must have its own internal logic. The world needs to be consistent. If not, it�s just an amusement park. A ride. A bit of brainless rubbish.

And then there�s a cliffhanger ending in Reloaded. The kind of cliffhanger that isn�t so much a cliffhanger as a ledge. I can�t say I was even vaguely bothered by seeing Revolutions, though, of course, seen as I�d come this far I had to see part three.

And so to Revolutions.

Part Three of an everdecreasing circle.

This one introduces a character so memorable I�ve forgotten his name. Needless to say, we know he�s evil : he has a goatee. Just like that old episode of Star Trek. Mirror Mirror.

And I don�t even remember what happens next. Some character called the Train Man turns up, but we don�t know who he is or what he does. He�s just some baddie Neo needs to overcome. Shame then he�s based so blatantly on Evil Bob from Twin Peaks. Then there�s all that rubbish coming from The Oracle : things spoken insensibly to disguise that there�s no sense to be spoken. The simple fact is that The Matrix is a riddle, wrapped inside an enigma, wrapped inside a load of self-important bullshit. And the emperor is naked.

But the worst thing is that The Matrix : Revolutions races towards a self-imposed sense of resolution and gives us nothing but a sense of What The Fuck Was That All About? There�s no big explanation, no grand reveal, just more smoke and mirrors and bullshit.

So let me crap. Sorry, let me recap. For those of you haven�t seen The Matrix : Revolutions you are missing ( nothing ).

I�ve stayed quiet on The Matrix phenomenon so far because I felt I couldn�t properly comment. There�s a reason for this. I thought at some point it might make sense. But it doesn�t. If The Matrix is a perfect simulacra of real life (or real life being a perfect simulacra of The Matrix) then it�s supposed to be meaningless isn�t it? The ultimate payoff. An interminably long time with no resolution? Maybe that�s Revolutions.

No, of course, there�s those of you who�ll say that just because you can�t understand it doesn�t make it a bad film. Which is the worst form of artistic snobbery. Suffice to say that if you base your philosophy on bad sci-fi movies, your sense of perspective needs adjusting. Of course, there�s also the mindset that says that maybe nobody can understand it because the Wachoski brothers presented the illusion of knowing all the answers, and then found that not only did they not have the answers, they also had to say so. So they wrapped up a Star Trek philosophy with bad dialogue and hoped nobody would notice that they had nothing to say.

Four years on, that Whoa factor hasn�t changed. The Matrix itself is a great movie. High-concept, high-action, and literate. It doesn�t give answers, but asks questions. That�s all we need. A movie that asks you questions, and makes you think, but doesn�t give you the answers.

Sometimes we don�t want films that give us the answers. Or at the very least, we don�t want their answers. We don�t want the Wachowski Brothers sub-comic, illiterate, semi-hippieish Love Will Conquer All remake of Tron that takes four times longer. We don�t need a movie where an illogical, emotionless computer decides to spare all of mankind because Keanu Reeves (I think) merged with a wonky Agent Smith programme and The Oracle to corrupt the system from within. I think. At least that�s what I reckon. I could be wrong. But if nobody knws what it means, I can make me own meanings, and that�s the best I can come up with.

Whoa. The emperor is naked. The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions debacle is nothing ; it�s meaningless, incomprehensible, and an empty, hollow experience. You come out feeling as if you know less than you did before. But the only thing you�ve lost is time.

Reloaded/Revolutions are poor films : illogical, lacking in internal logic, poorly paced and plotted, full of dreadful dialogue that is quite literally unspeakable, one of the most godawful execrable death scenes ever that makes Return Of The Jedi look good, and is basically just one big computer game advert. Reloaded? Reviled.

Well done Wachowski�s. You spoilt your one good idea. And I can�t get the taste out of my mouth. I can�t forget. I can�t undo history. All I can do is hope that somehow The Matrix : Remake Remodelled Redux Relapse (with a dribbling 60 year old Keanu in it) gives me the answers I need when it comes out in 2023. I�ll be meeting Deckard in the queue outside the rainswept Million Dollar Theater in LA.

Whoa.

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