George And Tony..... A Love Story
George And Tony..... A Love Story
August 2001. A phone rings somewhere in London.
GEORGE : �Tony?�
TONY: �Yes. Is that George?�
GEORGE : �Hi Tony. Yes.�
TONY: �I was just thinking. About you.�
GEORGE : �Good, you should always remember who your friends are�
TONY: �Well yes. You see after we lost the empire, we lost the peoples princess, and we almost lost the election, so we need something to put the Great back into Britain. That�s. What. We. Need. To. Do. �
GEORGE : �I�ve got a great idea for you Tony. That�s why I called. I think we can�t go wrong misunderestimating we, the people. We need to have a foreign-handed foreign policy. This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating. I�ve got an idea. It�s called a War.�
TONY: �And what do we do? To get a war?�
GEORGE : �I�ll call my daddy and tell him that we�re no longer friends with that Osama Dustbin.�
TONY: �Why him?�
GEORGE : � When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were, It was us vs. them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there. We will make Osama Them.�
TONY: �I�m confused. Whose. The Bad Guys?�
GEORGE : �Osama hasn�t been playing ball with negotiating that oil pipeline and America needs Petrol.�
TONY: �I thought your daddy. Went to conferences. With him, and gave him guns and aid in the past?�
GEORGE : �Yes he did. We always do that with people who do what we say. Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness. But Osama�s thinking for himself - and even I can�t do that. But they miscalculated me as a leader. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too. We�ll call him a terrier . That�s what we do to people who don�t do what we say.�
TONY: �You mean a terrorist?�
GEORGE : � A terrier commits terrible acts. We cannot let terriers and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile. He�s trying to bully us by not giving us the oil pipelines. I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.�
TONY: �How Can We. Convince People That. Osama is guilty?�
GEORGE : �We�ll do something that will have great emotionality within the people. Nobody speaks Osama�s language so we can overdub anything we like onto him. It�ll be our last retort. �
TONY: �But you can�t speak your own language and nobody overdubs you.�
GEORGE : �I�m the President and I can bomb whoever I like.. Daddy told me so, and it�s time I followed his footsteps and had a war of my own.�
TONY: �What if Osama. Starts co-operating?�
GEORGE : �We�ll kill him and get an actor in to play the role.�
TONY: �Like Moon Over Parador?�
GEORGE : �Tony, you�re so 80�s. You even think like a Tory. But I think we agree, the past is over. Now is the future.�
TONY: �You did tell me. Greed was Good though.�
GEORGE : �Yes it is, that�s why we�re going to war.�
TONY: �Ooh! A War. We haven�t had one of these since. John Major needed re-electing in 1992. And Maggie in 1982. It�s 2002 now, it�s about time. We had our war of the decade. What do we do?�
GEORGE : �Give us soldiers and guns. You don�t get anything in return, but you get to look good, and we get to keep our special relationship. Remember this is our little secret.�
TONY: �Secret squirrel right?�
GEORGE : �No, the other one. We can�t let anyone know that we know what�s going to happen on Tuesday the 11th.�
GEORGE : � I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe � I believe what I believe is right. I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question.�
TONY: �Erm. But. We. Need. People. To Know. What The Situation. Is.�
GEORGE : �This situation is a situation isn�t it? We need to take the power back from ourselves and prove it to the people.�
TONY: �What�s happening on Tuesday?�
GEORGE : �The FBI have told me that there will be terrier attacks. Maybe they have already planned it. I have a vision. This is where wings take dream. �
TONY: �We need certainty though. We need to. Ensure that. Something happens. For public support.�
GEORGE : �But This is a world that is much more uncertain than the past. In the past we were certain, we were certain it was us versus the Russians in the past. We were certain, and therefore we had huge nuclear arsenals aimed at each other to keep the peace. That's what we were certain of. ... You see, even though it's an uncertain world, we're certain of some things. We're certain that even though the 'evil empire' may have passed, evil still remains. We're certain there are people that can't stand what America stands for. ... We're certain there are madmen in this world, and there's terror, and there's missiles and I'm certain of this, too: I'm certain to maintain the peace, we better have a military of high morale, and I'm certain that under this administration, morale in the military is dangerously low. We need a war.�
TONY: �But why?�
GEORGE : �My dad is an oil baron. He needs oil. It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas. We�ve got to pretend that this is about democracy. Though I don�t believe in democracy. For if democracy worked then they would have mis-elected another President. We need to show we stand for something. If you don�t stand for anything, you don�t stand for anything. Our priorities are our faith.�
TONY: �And that�s why we? Need to act?�
GEORGE : � When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive. If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."
TONY: �But if we go bombing innocent civilians in other countries with planes, aren�t we the same as those we set out to destroy? Aren�t we the terrorists? And our weapons are money and control, instead of Jihads and dogma?�
GEORGE : � The question needs to be asked. Am I making things less unsafe? Is our children learning? We need to make our enemies more few. We ought to make the pie higher.�
TONY: �So. We�re going to war. For economic prosperity. For. Oil. And For. God. And. Revenge. And people singing �America The Beautiful� whilst weeping with their heads inside folded flags?�
GEORGE : ��We must work together. Because of Us And Them. If you aren�t with us, you�re against us. You�re also a terrier. If we don�t work together. We work apart.�
TONY: �Isn�t this going to cost us a lot of money?�
GEORGE : �Not as much money as we will get in oil. We have a budget. I do believe it is a budget. It�s got numbers in it�.
TONY: �I value the special relationship we have. Even though we only share a language, we are allies. And wars help make Britain great.�
GEORGE : � The mission must be to fight and win war and therefore to prevent war from happening in the first place, We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."
TONY: �I�ve got to go. The people are calling. I must pretend to listen to their protests.�
GEORGE : �Those protests are not in my name. We're blessed with such values in America. And I � it's � I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values. �
And this is how wars are planned.
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