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YOU MUST BE LIVING IN A DREAM WORLD…..

Recently, I’ve been served with divorce papers. I don’t mind. In fact, I’m glad. To me, divorce papers are kinda like filling in a death certificate. Formalising the end of a state. I’ll be glad when it’s over. I’ll be able to take the ring that has served as my prison, and throw it in the Thames during my Divorce Party.

But there’s something very odd. People have made accusations against me. It remindS me of how far divorced from my perception of reality some of those things have been. Apparently I’m some weird, stalker character. Apparently I’m a pornography-addicted, disease-riddled parasite, wife-beating that was in an ‘open’ relationship with every other woman I’d ever spoken to.

Gee, I always wanted to live in a fantasy world, but not one like that.

Some girls think they are such an amazing prize. They think that I – or any other man – have nothing better to do than chase after them. They think they’re the most amazing lay in the world, the most phenomenal asset a man can ever have. And let us not much about. Girl, you ain’t all that. Some of you are amazing. And some of you are pretty far from being even mediocre. Some of you aren’t even worth talking to – let alone stalking.

Time to face facts girl. Every day 30,000 women turn 18 in America alone. You, like me, are not special. Or unique.

A HISTORY LESSON

One of my ex’s was convinced I was stalking her. She was convinced that I was hanging around her house. Following her on public transport. Threatening her.

Another of my ex’s wouldn’t tell me where she was living, in the delusion that I would try and track her down and be violent against her. That I would go and take the train down to wherever she was living with her new man and firebomb her or something.

Get Real. No girl is worth that. Especially not her. As I said, thousands of girls turn 18 every day. There’s millions out there. If someone’s not interested then neither am I. Better to cut out people who don’t act like my friend than to stalk them. Life’s too short. And the further away you are from people who don’t like you and you don’t like the better.

And I have much better things to do with my time. In Birmingham alone there are probably 10,000 eligible women. In London, probably ten times that number. I’m not going to waste my time stalking someone who plainly doesn’t want to know. Stalking someone who does want to be in a relationship with you is a lot more fun : it’s called ‘Going Out’ with them.

I’ve never been violent against anyone. Not even the people who sometimes have really deserved it. Not even against people who’ve treated me appallingly. I’m bigger than that, and better than that. I’m a lover, not a fighter, baby.

So it came as somewhat of a surprise, but not entirely unexpected, to see some of the things people have said about me. Now, far be it for me to tell a woman that she’s wrong (after all, even when a woman’s wrong, she’s right), but… You’re Wrong. If I were you I’d be checking the world you live for chapter stops, because the world you live is a bad movie and not real life. Not all fantasies are good ones, baby.

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