Alex on Jay Leno (summer 1999)

Jay Leno : Currently starring in the number 1 movie of the country, please welcome Alex D. Linz!

(Alex walks out on stage)

Jay Leno : Hi Alex, how are you, big guy? Say hi to Mr Rather (Dan Rather was Jay's first guest that night)

Jay Leno : Congradulation. You've got big since the last time I saw you.

Alex D. Linz : Well, I've grown three inches, other than that, nothing...

Jay Leno : You've been doing the show half of your life.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, the first time I came on here I was like six.

Jay Leno : Yep, that's almost...

Alex D. Linz : Almost half.

Jay Leno : Here you go. Now, tell us who you play, since it's (Tarzan) an animated film, tell us who you play in the movie.

Alex D. Linz : I play young Tarzan that comes up right before the middle of the film. Not baby Tarzan, but middle Tarzan.

Jay Leno : Oh, the middle Tarzan. Now, can you do any jungle noises? Do you have to do a lot of...?

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, I did a Tarzan yell, and...

Jay Leno : Oh, let me hear the Tarzan yell.

Alex D. Linz : It's kinda loud, but...

(Alex does a long and loud Tarzan yell; then audience laugh and applaud)

Jay Leno : Yeah, that'll do it! Can you do any animal?

Alex D. Linz : I can do a leopard if you want.

(Alex immitates the sound of a leopard, audience applaud)

Jay Leno : That's pretty good (Alex raises his hands immitating the movement of a leopards paws) I can do a jaguar.

(Jay immitates the sound of a car starting up)

Jay Leno : battery dead!

(audience laugh)

Jay Leno : I hear a strange thing about you on the set. They say you chew on the director's hair. I didn't quite believe it myself so I'm asking you, is there any truth to that?

Alex D. Linz : Well, on Home Alone 3, there's a guy named Alec Baurad, he's PA. When we go to the set and stuff, sometimes I would ride on his back, and his ponytail. I just love his ponytail. And I would bite it cos it just feels really weird in your mouth and it froze your teeth at the same time.

(audience laugh)

Jay Leno : Oh, I see.

Alex D. Linz : And the director, he has a ponytail too.

Jay Leno : Oh, I see. Now let's show people of you in Tarzan so they can see you.

(clip from Tarzan shown, afterward audience applaud)

Jay Leno : Good job! You always have a joke for me everytime. This is like your fourth time. Do you have any jokes? A new one?

Alex D. Linz : I have a cannibal joke. It's kinda...

Jay Leno : A cannibal joke?

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, it's kinda cheap humour, but it's pretty funny.

Jay Leno : Let's hear about it. You're talking to the king of cheap humour. Go ahead...

Alex D. Linz : OK. The youngest member of a cannibal family runs into the dining room, he sees his father picking his teeth and he says "Dad, am I late for dinner?" and the Dad says "Yep, everybody's already eaten."

(audience laugh and applaud)

Jay Leno : Very good. Not bad, not bad. Now, are you getting the summer off from school or are you going to summer school?

Alex D. Linz : I've got asked to go to summer school.

Jay Leno : I've got asked to go to summer school every year.

(audience laugh)

Alex D. Linz : Well, there's people in the gay pragram, some kinda gifted artistic program or something. And they asked me...and that's a college thing. It's a summer program in the college.

Jay Leno : Is that what they call, a gifted? In my day they call it a treat. It's an honor.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah. Well, I might go to that, I don't know, but I know I'm going to camp a bit.

Jay Leno : How about your favourite subject? Do you have a favourite subject in school?

Alex D. Linz : I still like astronomy. Astronomy in science. But i like physic.

Jay Leno : Physic?

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, I wanna get a PhD in physic and philosophy.

Jay Leno : Yeah, me too man, I'm doing that right after...And Philosophy? What do you like about philosophy?

Alex D. Linz : Well, I think it's interesting that you get to study the history of religion. It's very theoretical, and you get to guess what's in the center of the universe. You get to do research. I like it.

Jay Leno : OK, which came first, chicken or egg?

Alex D. Linz : (leans back for a second) It's controversial. Probably the egg.

Jay Leno : Probably the egg? Who laid the egg?

Alex D Linz : The ancestor of the chicken, who was not entirely a chicken yet.

(audience applaud and laugh)

Jay Leno : Oh, shut up! (Jay nudges Alex on the shoulder a bit)

Jay Leno : Let me ask you something. How about a girlfriend? Have you got a girlfriend?

Alex D. Linz : I have...

Jay Leno : Last time you were here you said you were seeing someone.

Alex D. Linz : Yes, I was seeing Paige, but we are just regular friends now (touching his glasses), it's good that...

Jay Leno : You know, when a guy touches his glasses like you just did and says he's just regular friends with a girl, that's a sign.

(audience laugh)

Alex D. Linz : No it's not!

Jay Leno : That's a sign, a trial lawyer would tell you that the guy's being sneaky.

Alex D. Linz : No, we're just friends. But recently I am at a neutral stand point (Audience laugh) with another person, Nicole.

Jay Leno : Nicole, at a neutral stand point? Do you go out with her? Did you have a big break up with Paige?

Alex D. Linz : No! (raising his hands)

Jay Leno : You are touching your glasses again!

(more laughs from audience)

Alex D. Linz : (laughing) No, you see, we haven't talked much yet. But i'm getting different information from her friends.

Jay Leno : Like what did they say? What did they tell you?

Alex D. Linz : Well, they gave me information like what they think she said or what they think she might say...

Jay Leno : Do you know what she said about you?

Alex D. Linz : I don't know what she said about me, man! (audience erupts with laughter) All I heard is information from her, information from her friends and information from my friends.

Jay Leno : Did they say if she thinks you're cute? Did they say she likes you?

Alex D. Linz : (pauses for a second) That I don't know, but...

Jay Leno : You know, and you just don't want to tell us. I can see it from your look.

Alex D. Linz : No, I'm...you see, from all the information I got I don't think, I don't feel like it's a right time to consider...

Jay Leno : about marriage?

Alex D. Linz : No. Well, I feel like if I met the right person and at a right age.

Jay Leno : Like 11?

Alex D. Linz : (laughs and rolls his eyes) Yeah, like 11! I don't think I wanna gat married, but I wanna be able to live together.

Jay Leno : No, you get married. (He asks Dan Rather, sitting next to Alex D. Linz...)

Jay Leno : How long have you been married Dan?

Dan Rather : Forty Two years.

Jay Leno : I have been married for nineteen years and it's been wonderful. Let people say it's a wonderful thing.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah but I don't feel like, I don't think the law...

Jay Leno : You see, you're too young to think like that.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, but I don't think the law should tell people how to love someone.

Jay Leno : The law doesn't tell you how to love someone. You tell yourself how to love someone.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, but I don't know, marriage seems so...bizzare. You have to...

Jay Leno : Marraige is wonderful. What happened when you were sick in hospital? Your wife would be there sitting next to you.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah, but...

Jay Leno : None of your girlfriends would show up. You see, when times are good, girlfriends are good, but when times are times are bad bad you need family there.

Alex D. Linz : Yeah but are wives good when times are good?

Jay Leno : Absolutely. Isn't that right Dan?

Dan Rather : Yeah!

Alex D. Linz : Alright.

Jay Leno : Thanks for coming in Alex.