[scene opens with a husband and wife standing in a kitchen. it is early morning. the woman is dressed like she just woke up and the man has just walked in from a very late night. he has not slept yet.]

[Man makes to cross room]
Woman: Stop! What? You need coffee? Take the smell of HER off your face? [she tries not to cry]
Man: No.. I was just... tired..
Woman: Tired of fucking her again and again? Did she come? Hmm? Or did she fake it like I always have too? [she is shaking]
Man: .... [he looks away unable to think of anything to say]
Woman: Why don't you be a man and tell me what you were doing last night this time? [Slight pause] You never tell me anything! [waits for an answer--nothing. Makes an awkward movement as if she is going to cross the room to strike him, but almost simultaneously decides how revolting he is. She stops shaking and whispers.] Get out. I hate you.
Man: I'm s-
Woman: [explodes] SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LIAR! GET THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW! GET OUT! GET OUT! [she continues yelling in this fashion until unable to control herself she bursts into tears and falls to the floor. She cries for a few moments while the man stands in an awkward silence unable to take his eyes of something he desperately doesn't want to see. She collects herself.] Just go, please. Just...go.

[On the last word the lights go out.]

[Almost simultaneously two lights go up to spotlight the man and woman. The walk off in separate directions to two changing stations. The Man is on SR behind a cubicle. The Woman is on SL behind a generic changing room from a generic clothing store. As soon as they are both behind the changing rooms the next scene begins.]
[The Man and Woman change for the next scene. The Man in casual clothes and the Woman in a tight red dress. The Man is completely hidden behind the cubicle, but the Woman is constantly in view of the audience. She flirts with the men in the audience--winking and blowing kisses]

Woman: Do you think I'm pretty?
Man: Even Aphrodite wouldn't invite you to her wedding. You'd show her up. [a pause as if thinking] Am I tall enough?
Woman: Yeah. Am I fat?
Man: Baby, when we were dancing in the kitchen yesterday, I thought I was sweeping the floor. Am I-
Woman: [worried] Am I too thin then?
Man: No, of course not, darling. I was just trying to cheer you up. I love your body. I wish you were in my arms right now!
Woman: [rolls her eyes as if she's heard it a million times before] Where do you work?
Man: [myseriously] I can't tell you.
Woman: [stops what she's doing and looks for the first time in his direction, interested] Really?
Man: [laughing] No, I work at a software company.
Woman: [continues getting dressed] Oh? How's that working for you?
Man: Oh, I love it! I develop new co--
Woman: How much do you make?
Man: Oh, I---[thinks for a bit, then proudly] I make over $60,000 a year and its only my seventh year.
Woman: [completely unimpressed behind her changing station, but lying] Oh? That's amazing! 
Man: Where do you wo--
Woman: Let's go to dinner tonight. At La Casa's.
Man: [walks out behind the cubicle with his wallet in hand] How about I cook you dinner tonight?
Woman: I don't want to wait.
Man: You're going to have to wait either way.
Woman: Alright then. Let's go to La Casa's.
Man: [looks worried] Okay, darling, for you.
[Woman walks offstage into audience and gets a man to zip up the back of her dress. She holds out her hand for him to kiss it, then right before he does she pulls her hand away as if offended. She walks back onstage flaunting her ass as much as possible. The Man walks to the edge of the stage and sees all of this. He looks embarrassed, with a touch of sadness. Unable to do or say anything.] 
Woman: Great! Let's go!

[Lights out on last word]
[Almost simultaneously a light goes up SR on the Man and his cubicle. He acts like it is the end of the work day. He is whistling and checking his watch. He looks happy. He walks toward the kitchen. Lights go out on SR and come up Center on kitchen.  He comes in and sits down at the table. He sits for awhile, then suddenly he starts looking around. He begins to look worried. After awhile he falls asleep with his head on the table.]
[Lights out on kitchen, lights up on Woman SL.]
[Various tableux of accepting compliments and other various flirting. She checks her cell phone and looks scared. She walks hurriedly to the kitchen and stumbles in drunk and falls to the floor. Man wakes up.]

Man: What the--are you okay!?
Woman: [laughing] Of course! Of course! [accusing] Why are you sleeping in the kitchen?
Man: [off-guard] Oh, I was just waiting for you and I fell asleep. Where wer--
Woman: My old college roommate came into town. We went out to dinner and cocktails. I thought I told you this morning?
Man: You were still sleeping when I left for work this morning.
Woman: [laughing] Oh! I must have dreamed it, dear! Your always in my dreams! Its hard to tell sometimes!
Man: [a little relieved, but still worried] Its okay, but are you drunk? [turns his back to her to grab something to drink for the woman] How did you get home?
Woman: [off-hand] Oh, Scott drove me home. [her shock is not seen by the man who quickly turns]
Man: Who's Scott?
Woman: Oh... the cab driver.  He was very talkative.
Man: A cab driver named Scott? 
Woman: [defensively] Are you racist now? I'm going to bed.
[Woman walks to SL behind her changing station. No light on her. The Man sits back down at the table. He is very upset. After a short moment he gets up, clearly frustrated. He paces the room then grabs a beer. He walks toward his cubicle. When he is hidden from view..]
Man: [innocently] You said last night we would have sex tonight..
Woman: [groans] I have a headache.
Man: Oh, would you like some medicine then?
Woman: No thank you.
Man: Okay, dear, I love you. Goodnight.
Woman: Goodnight.

[Lights on out on last word]
[Almost simultaneously, lights up on SL Woman]

Woman: As a Woman I have the right.  As a Woman, its my only choice to live in this world of Men.  You have to take what you can get and get whatever you can when you can.  I want a divorce.
[Lights up on Man]
[He is holding his cell phone]
Man: She wants a divorce. She texts me that she wants a divorce. I ask her how her day is going and she says she wants a divorce. I come home late one night and she wants a divorce.
Woman: I want a divorce. I've already talked to my lawyer.
Man: What for? Why do you need a lawyer.  All we have to do is sign some stupid paper that proves you never loved me. Really loved me. You never really loved me.
Woman: I'm getting what's mine.
Man: What's yours?
Woman: The house. The car. The money.
Man: [as if for the first time with a backbone and laughing] You think you can take anything from me? When they hear you've been staying at home all day and partying all night, you'll be lucky to get the clothes I bought you. With the money I earned.
Woman: You beat me.
Man: What!? I never did anything like that! Don't you fucking joke about that!
Woman: Give me what I want or I'll ruin your life.
Man: You already have. You already have.

[lights out on last word]

[lights up on Man and Woman DS Center]

[they are holding hands looking blissful. Man steals a kiss on her cheek. She blushes.]

[they stand up and they are fighting]

Woman: How can you be so inconsiderate!?
Man: What do you mean? I called you. I called you!
Woman: Its my birthday!
Man: But I called you! 
Woman: Scott called me as soon as it was midnight. He was at a concert and he still had the time to call me!
Man: I called you just a few minutes after midnight!
Woman: I can't fucking believe this! I haven't even seen Scott in months and he called me!
Man: I fucking called you though!
Woman: I'm tired of this. There is nothing you can do to make this alright!

[She turns his back to him and he looks devastated and confused, unable to do or say anything.]
[He walks to his cubicle and dissapears.]
[She takes out her cell phone and makes a call.]

Woman: Yes. Diane? I'm getting a divorce. Can you represent me? Why? Oh, he came in last night reeking of perfume and lipstick all over his face. I'm tired of all his shit.

[She walks to her changing room and dissapears]
[Man walks into DS center as she leaves]
[He takes out a cell phone]

Man: Yes, I would like to take some night classes. Yes, ma'am. I want to earn A LOT more money! Yes.. yes... alright I'll come in right now to sign up.

[He hangs up and places the phone in his pocket.]
[Woman joins him and they hold hands looking very happy.]

Man: I got promoted today!
Woman: Really!? That's wonderful, honey!
Man: Yeah, but its just another position. They really like to make you think you've won. Like they love you or something. They really tease you. Always flirting with you about better pay for less hours.  Its all a joke. They only want what you can give to them. They just want to use you. Work you until you're dead then throw you away when the new graduates come in.
Woman: Oh, don't worry, baby. I love you!
Man: [shocked but immediately he smiles like he will never smile again] I really love you too, babe. You make everything about being alive better.  I never knew that you could be this happy!
Woman: Aww, sweetheart, I'll always love you. True love!
Man: [as if to himself] True love...
Woman: So, how much did they increase your salary?
Man: [brought out of heaven] Oh, its just another position. Not a pay increase.
Woman: [softly and lying] Oh, well, its still.. great.

[Woman pushes Man towards cubicle. He dissapears.]
Woman: My mother told me the truth about life when I was younger.  That there was no such thing as love.  She didn't bullshit me.  She wanted me to have a good life.  She told me I needed to find a handsome, strong MAN. I real Man. A Man who would earn enough money to support me. Give me everything I ever wanted.  A Man that could protect me if I got sick. Got hurt. A Man is support for a good life. A boy is only a Man if he can satisfy your bank account.
[she winks at the audience and walks to the kitchen and sits down. The Man walks to DS center.]
Man: My father told me the truth about life when I was younger. That there was only love.  No bullshit, he said. He wanted me to have a fulfilling life.  He told me I needed to find a beatuiful, smart woman. A woman who could love me no matter what happened. Give me everything money couldn't buy. A woman to protect from danger. From loneliness. A woman is support for a good life. A girl is only a woman if she can truly love. True love.. that's the only reason to live.
[he shrugs and walks into the kitchen. there is an awkward silence for a few moments]
Man: You still want a divorce, don't you.
Woman: Of course, I do.
Man: Then why did you fuck me last night!?
Woman: I was lonely.
Man: And I was weak. You make living worse than death. I never knew you could hate this much.
Woman: [with all the sarcasm of lilith] Aww, sweetheart, I'll always love you, though. True love.
Man: [explodes] No! I don't think you know what love is! Its not my money in your goddamn purse. Its not your fucking clothes you wear on your back! Its in the fucking eggs I cook you in the morning! Its in the glass of water I pour for you before bed! In the smiles I have every morning waking up to you in the same bed! Its in---[he is unable to continue and he slumps to the floor with the weight of the realization that he has poured his heart and soul into a harpy. he begins to cry]
Woman: [she is disgusted by his tears] You never were man enough for me. [She walks out and dissapears behind the changing room]
[the man stops crying and looks up and sees that shes gone. he destroys the kitchen in his anger, screaming at the top of his lungs about love]
[the lights fade on him]
[lights up on DS center and the woman walks in]
Woman: Yes, your honor. Yes, your honor. Thank you, your honor. [she winks at him and curtsies]
[Man walks up beside her]
Man: Yes, your honor. Yes, your honor. No, your honor, I haven't been drinking. [he looks at women with a disdainful look]
[a loud gavel sound and the Woman squeels with delight. the man is crushed by the sound. he falls to the floor. The Woman looks at him. Thinks for a moment. Then laughs and walks into the audience where she begins to flirt with the men.]
Man: They really like to make you think you've won. Like they love you or something. They really tease you. Always flirting with you about how much better the sex is getting.  Its all a joke. They only want what you can give to them. They just want to use you. Work you until you're dead then throw you away when the new green comes in.
[the man is unable to take his eyes of the Woman. he still loves her. she comes back on to the stage. she looks at him with a flirtatious look. he is unable to do or say anything.]
[lights out]