im lost in my twirling emotions... that run erratical through my head as it burns holes in my eyes that used to show strength... they hold lackluster... im spinning down and down to a place ive never been before... the worst of myself... its not that im sad... im dazed and cofused... vulnerable and shameful... spiteful and arrogant... im everything i hate... the more i feel the more i lose... the more i feel bad the deeper i go... i want a lifelife... i need my light at the end of the tunnel... to tell me to go back and try harder... that everything smy fault... set in motion... but want complete because i hold power... power i lost as it was ripped from chest...