Laughter is a state of no-mind

"All around you are great fields of vibrant energy pulsing with life: flowers, rocks, mountains, oceans, animals, and humans. You are a brilliant field of spectacular energy. All of you is vibrating, pulsing, singing, dancing and living. The kind of "song" you vibrate depends on your thoughts, words, and actions. Be awake. Feel the laughing universe all around you. Your life is always filled with joy,overflowing with opportunities, brimming with happiness.

Try laughing right now. Go on laugh. Go ahead. Take a chance on yourself. Take a chance on love. Close your eyes and just laugh for no reason at all. Just begin to laugh. Remember how it feels to feel? Bring that feeling back into yourself. Remember how it feels to feel happy. Hold those feelings.

Fields of vibrating energy are the fabric of this reality. Laughter will become the origin of your feelings, will change the manifestation of your feelings, will determine the outcome of your actions. Everything comes from you. You are the creative Source of your life. The whole world constantly feeds you with information. You have the power to interpret that information. Only you. You are exactly what you have made You!"

J Lyons

"Out beyond ideas of right-doing and
wrong-doing, there is a field. I'll
meet you there."

-Rumi

Pearls Beyond Price

There is an endless net of threads throughout the Universe.

The horizontal threads are in space; the vertical in time;

At every crossing of threads there is an individual, and every individual is a pearl.

The great light of Pure Awareness illuminates and penetrates every pearl.

And also, every pearl reflects not only the light from every other pearl in the net,

But also every reflection of every reflection throughout the Universe.

Vedas

Hole in One

There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him."
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"

Is that so?

A beautiful girl in the village was pregnant. Her angry parents demanded to know who was the father. At first resistant to confess, the anxious and embarrassed girl finally pointed to Hakuin, the Zen master whom everyone previously revered for living such a pure life. When the outraged parents confronted Hakuin with their daughter's accusation, he simply replied "Is that so?"

When the child was born, the parents brought it to the Hakuin, who now was viewed as a pariah by the whole village. They demanded that he take care of the child since it was his responsibility. "Is that so?" Hakuin said calmly as he accepted the child.

For many months he took very good care of the child until the daughter could no longer withstand the lie she had told. She confessed that the real father was a young man in the village whom she had tried to protect. The parents immediately went to Hakuin to see if he would return the baby. With profuse apologies they explained what had happened. "Is that so?" Hakuin said as he handed them the child.  

Two Frogs In a Well

A group of frogs were walking through the woods
and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead.

Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. You see this frog was deaf, unable to hear the others. He believed they were encouraging him the entire time.

This too shall pass away

A famous spiritual teacher came to the front door of the King's palace. None of the guards tried to stop him as he entered and made his way to where the King himself was sitting on his throne.

"What do you want?" asked the King, immediately recognizing the visitor.

"I would like a place to sleep in this Inn," replied the teacher.

"But this is not an inn," said the King in an anguished voice, "It is my palace."

"May I ask who owned this palace before you?"

"My father. He is dead."

"And who owned it before him?"

"My grandfather. He too is dead."

"And this place where people live for a short time and then move on - did I hear you say that it is NOT an INN?" 

My Heart Got There First


An old pilgrim was making his way to the Himalayan mountains in the bitter cold of
winter when it began to rain.

An innkeeper said to him, "How will you ever get there in this kind of weather, my
good man?"

The old man answered cheerfully, "My heart got there first, so it's easy for the rest
of me to follow."

Mystic Rose

The disciples were absorbed
in a discussion of Lao-tzu's dictum:

"Those who know do not say;
Those who say do not know."

When the Master entered,they asked him exactly
what the words meant.

Said the Master, "Which of you knows
the fragrance of a rose?"

All of them knew.
Then he said, "Put it into words."

All of them were silent.

By Anthony De Mello S.J.

Three Pieces of Advice

A man once caught a bird. The bird said to him, 'I am of no use to you as a captive. But let me free, and I will tell you three valuable pieces of advice.'
The bird promised to give the first piece of advice while still in the man's grasp, the second when he reached a branch, the third after he had gained the top of a mountain.
The man agreed, and asked for the first piece of advice.
The bird said: 'If you lose something, even if it be valued by you as much as life itself - do not regret it.'

Now the man let the bird go, and it hopped to a branch.
It continued with the second piece of advice: 'Never believe anything which is contrary to sense, without proof.'
Then the bird flew to the mountain-top. From here it said: 'O unfortunate one! Within me are two huge jewels, and if you had only killed me they would have been yours!'

The man was anguished at the thought of what he had lost, but he said: 'At least now tell me the third piece of advice.' The bird replied: 'What a fool you are, asking for more advice when you have not given thought to the first two pieces! I told you not to worry about what had been lost, and not to believe in something contrary to sense. Now you are doing both.
You are believing something ridiculous and grieving because you have lost something! I am not big enough to have inside me such huge jewels.
'You are quite silly. Therefore you must stay within the usual restrictions imposed on mankind.'

A Sufi Story

Eat no Stones

A hunter, walking through some woods, came upon a notice. He read the words:
STONE-EATING IS FORBIDDEN.

His curiosity was stimulated, and he followed a track which led past the sign until he came to a cave, at the entrance to which a Sufi was sitting.
The Sufi said to him: 'The answer to your question is that you have never seen a notice prohibiting the eating of stones because there is no need for one. It may be considered a common habit not to eat stones.'

'Only when the human being is able similarly to avoid other habits, even more destructive than eating stones, will he be able to get beyond his present pitiful state.'

A Sufi Story

The Will to Win

During a momentous battle, a Japanese general decided to attack even though his
army was greatly outnumbered. He was confident they would win, but his men
were filled with doubt.

On the way to the battle, they stopped at a religious shrine. After praying with the
men, the general took out a coin and said, "I shall now toss this coin. If it is heads,
we shall win. If it is tails we shall lose."

"Destiny will now reveal itself."

He threw the coin into the air and all watched intently as it landed. It was heads.
The soldiers were so overjoyed and filled with confidence that they vigorously
attacked the enemy and were victorious.

After the battle. a lieutenant remarked to the general, "No one can change destiny."

"Quite right," the general replied as he showed the lieutenant the coin, which had
heads on both sides.

Author Unknown

Isn't the world a reflection of you?

Shibli was asked: 'Who guided you in the Path?'
He said: 'A dog. One day I saw him, almost dead with thirst, standing by the water's edge.'
'Every time he looked at his reflection in the water he was frightened, and withdrew, because he thought it was another dog.'

'Finally, such was his necessity, he cast away his fear and leapt into the water; at which the "other dog" vanished.'
'The dog found that the obstacle, was himself, the barrier between him and what he sought, melted away.'

'In this same way my own obstacle vanished, when I knew that it was what I took to be my own self. And my Way was first shown to me by the behavior of... a dog.'

A Sufi Story

Holier than thou.

Four monks decided to meditate silently without speaking for two weeks. By nightfall on the first day, the candle began to flicker and then went out. The first monk said, "Oh, no! The candle is out." The second monk said, "Aren't we not suppose to talk?" The third monk said, "Why must you two break the silence?" The fourth monk laughed and said, "Ha! I'm the only one who didn't speak."

Judge not and you shall not be judged.

A samurai, a very proud warrior, came to see a Zen Master one day. The samurai was very famous, but looking at the beauty of the Master and the Grace of the moment, he suddenly felt inferior.

He said to the Master, "Why am I feeling inferior? Just a moment ago everything was okay. As I entered your court suddenly I felt inferior. I have never felt like that before. I have faced death many times, and I have never felt any fear -- why am I now feeling frightened?"

The Master said, "Wait. When everyone else has gone, I will answer." People continued the whole day to come and see the Master, and the samurai was getting more and more tired waiting. By evening the room was empty, and the samurai said, "Now, can you answer me?"

The Master said, "Come outside."

It was a full moon night, the moon was just rising on the horizon. And he said, "Look at these trees. This tree is high in the sky and this small one beside it. They both have existed beside my window for years, and there has never been any problem. The smaller tree has never said to the big tree, 'Why do I feel inferior before you?' This tree is small, and that tree is big -- why have I never heard a whisper of it?"

The samurai said, "Because they are not judgmental."

The Master replied, "Then you need not ask me. You know the answer."

Author Unknown

On Dropping your Body ~   Freedom

A merchant kept a bird in a cage. He was going to India, the land from which the bird came, and asked it whether he could bring anything back for it. The bird asked for its freedom, but was refused. So he asked the merchant to visit a jungle in India and announce his captivity to the free birds who were there.
The merchant did so, and no sooner had he spoken when a wild bird, just like his own, fell senseless out of a tree on to the ground.
The merchant thought that this must be a relative of his own bird, and felt sad that he should have caused this death.

When he got home, the bird asked him whether he had brought good news from India.
'No,' said the merchant, 'I fear that my news is bad. One of your relations collapsed and fell at my feet when I mentioned your captivity.'
As soon as these words were spoken the merchant's bird collapsed and fell to the bottom of the cage.'The news of his kinsman's death has killed him, too,' thought the merchant. Sorrowfully he picked up the bird and put it on the window-sill. At once the bird revived and flew to a near-by tree.
'Now you know, the bird said, 'That what you thought was disaster was in fact good news for me, and that the suggestion of how to behave in order to free myself, was transmitted through you, my captor.' He flew away, free at last.

A Sufi Story

One may conquer a million men in a single battle,
However, the greatest and best warriors,
Conquer themselves.

The honor paid to the one who has achieved self-mastery,
For one single instant,
Is worth more than monthly offerings,
Of a thousand pieces of gold.

Buddha ~ Dhammapada

Nor are they reached by wearing yoga garments or by conversation
about yoga, but only through tireless practice. This is the
secret of success. There is no doubt about it.

"Hata Yoga Pradipika" By Svetmarma

Simple Solutions

There once lived an old Arab who had three sons. On his deathbed, he called his three sons and said: "At my death, you are to divide my possessions." To his eldest son he promised half of his worldly goods; to his second son, a third; and to the youngest, a ninth. When he died, it was found that his entire estate consisted of seventeen camels, and each of the sons began clamoring for his share.

When they found a fair division impossible, they turned to an old friend of their father's for counsel. He was poor, but he said to them: "I have only one camel, but I will add it to the herd so that you can settle your father's estate amicably." Whereupon the old man gave the eldest son his half-share of nine camels. To the second son, he gave six camels, representing his third, and to the youngest, he gave two camels, representing his ninth share. Then the old man looked about him and, his own camel remained. So he turned his head and bowed, saying, "The wisdom of God is beyond understanding."

Unknown Author

Trained Parrot

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who wanted to prove which one was the best to her.

Son #1 bought her a 15-room mansion, thinking this would surely be the best that any of them could offer her.

Son #2 bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking this would surely win her approval.

Son #3 had to do something even better, so he bought her a parrot that he had been training for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could ask the parrot any verse in the Bible, and he could quote it word for word. What a gift that would be.

Well, the old lady went to the first son and said, "Son, the house is just gorgeous, but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it’s too large to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway."
Then she confronted her second son with, "Son, the car is beautiful. It has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and really don't like the chauffeur, so please return the car."

Next, she went to Son #3 and said, "Son, I just want to thank you for your most thoughtful gift. That chicken was delicious."

Puppy love.

The other day my youngest dog got injured and I had to take him to the vet. It turned out that I had to leave him for the night. I was sitting out in the waiting room waiting for some kind of news, when this fellow came in the door to get shots for his dogs. I was back in the corner of the room, kinda bummed, imagining the worst (my poor dog with a high fever, not taking any water or food), when this fellow's three dogs made it a point to drag him all the way across the room to give me some LOVE.

It was kind of strange, but it seemed to me that they were about the most humane ones in the room. They felt my sadness and, reacting immediately, reassured me at once. Every one of them.

I learn something different almost every day from dogs.

My point is that reinforcement of one another is essential to every living being. Love is eternal!

Written and submitted by Mike Ditzler

Naropa's Vision


Naropa was a great scholar, a great pundit. This story happened before he became enlightened. It is said that he was the Vice-chancellor of a great University, having over ten
thousand disciples of his own. One day he was sitting surrounded by his disciples. All around him were scattered thousands of scriptures, very ancient and rare.

Suddenly he fell asleep and he had a vision. It was so significant that calling it a dream wouldn't do it justice - it was a Vision.

He saw a very old, and ugly looking hag. Her ugliness was so grotesque, that he started writhing in his sleep. She cried out in despair, "Naropa, what are you doing?"

He said, "I am studying."

"What are you studying?" asked the old woman.

He said," Philosophy, religion, epistemology, metaphysics, logic...."

The old woman asked, "Do you understand them?"

Naropa said, "Yes, I understand them."

The woman asked again, "Do you understand the words, or the sense?" And her eyes were so penetrating that it was impossible to lie to her. Before her, Naropa felt completely naked, transparent.

He said, "I understand the words."

The woman started dancing and laughing and her ugliness was transformed. A subtle beauty started emerging from her Being.

Naropa thought, "I have made her so happy, why not make her a little more happy?" So he added, "Yes, and I understand the sense also."

The woman stopped laughing, stopped dancing. She started weeping and crying, and all her ugliness was back - a thousand fold more!

Naropa asked, "Why?"

The woman said, "I was happy because a great scholar like you didn't lie. But now I am crying because you have lied to me. I know, and you know, that you don't understand the sense."

The vision disappeared - and Naropa was transformed. He left the university, he never again touched a scripture in his life. He understood.

A man of wisdom, a man of understanding, has a freshness about him, a fragrant life, totally different from a pundit, from a man of knowledge. One who understands the sense becomes beautiful, one who only understands the words becomes ugly. And the woman is just a projection of Naropa's inner Being, becoming ugly through knowledge.

Author Unknown

Why don't you buy that ticket?

A devout religious man fell on hard times. So he took to praying in the following fashion: "Lord, remember all the years I served you as best as I could, asking for nothing in return. Now that I am old and bankrupt I am going to ask you for a favour for the first time in my life and I am sure you will not say No: allow me to win the lottery"

Days passed. Then weeks and months. But nothing happened. Finally,almost driven to despair, he cried out one night, " Why don't you give me a break, god?"

He suddenly heard the voice of God replying, " Give me a break yourself! Why don't you buy a lottery ticket?"

Anthony de Mello- The Prayer Of The Frog

Buried Treasure

The Creator gathered all of creation and said, "I want to hide something from the Humans until they are ready for it. It is the realization that they create their own reality."

The eagle said, "Give it to me, I will take it to the moon."

The Creator said, "No. One day they will go there and find it."

The salmon said, "I will bury it on the bottom of the ocean."

"No. They will go there too."

The buffalo said, "I will bury it on the Great Plains."

The Creator said, "They will cut into the skin of the Earth and find it even there."

Grandmother Mole, who lives in the breast of Mother Earth, and who has no physical eyes but sees with Spiritual eyes, said, "Put it inside of them."

And the Creator said, "It is done."

When Life becomes your Teacher!

When the great Sufi mystic, Hasan, was dying, somebody asked "Hasan, who was your master?"

He said, "I had thousands of masters. If I just relate their names it will take months, years and it is too late. But three masters I will certainly tell you about.

One was a thief. Once I got lost in the desert, and when I reached a village it was very late, everything was closed. But at last I found one man who was trying to make a hole in t he wall of a house. I asked him where I could stay and he said 'At this time of night it will be difficult, but you can say with me - if you can stay with a thief'

And the man was so beautiful. I stayed for one month! And each night he would say to me, 'Now I am going to my work. You rest, you pray.' When he came back I would ask 'Did you get anything?' He would say, 'Not tonight. But tomorrow I will try again, God willing.' He was never in a state of hopelessness, he was always
happy.

When I was meditating and meditating for years on end and nothing was happening, many times the moment came when I was so desperate, so hopeless, that I thought to stop all this nonsense. And suddenly I would remember the thief who would say every night, 'God willing, tomorrow it is going to happen.'

And my second master was a dog. I was going to the river, thirsty and a dog came. He was also thirsty. He looked into the river, he saw another dog there -- his own image -- and became afraid. He would bard and run away, but his thirst was so much that he would come back. Finally, despite his fear, he just jumped into the water, and the image disappeared. And I knew that a message had come to me from God: one has to jump in spite of all fears.

And the third master was a small child. I entered a town and a child was carrying a lit candle. He was going to church to place the candle there.

'Just joking,' I asked the boy, 'Have you lit the candle yourself?' He said, 'Yes sir.' And I asked, 'There was a moment when the candle was unlit, then there was a moment when the candle was lit. Can you show me the source from which the
light came?'

And the boy laughed, blew out the candle, and said, 'Now that you have seen the light going. Where has it gone? You will tell me!'

My ego was shattered, my confidence in my learning and knowledge was shattered. And that moment I felt my own stupidity. Since then I dropped all my identities.

It is true that I had no master. That does not mean that I was not a student -- I accepted Life as my master. My Disciplehood was a greater involvement than yours is.

I trusted the clouds, the trees. I trusted existence as such. I had no master because I had millions of masters I learned from every possible source. To be a disciple is a must on the path. What does it mean to be a disciple? It means to be able to learn. To be available to learn to be vulnerable to existence. With a master you start learning to learn.

The  master is a swimming pool where you can learn how to swim. Once you have learned, all the Oceans are yours."

Searching for a 'Holy Man' ?

Word spread across the countryside about the wise Holy Man who lived in a small house atop the mountain. A man from the village decided to make the long and difficult journey to visit him. When he arrived at the house, he saw an old servant inside who greeted him at the door.

"I would like to see the wise Holy Man," he said to the servant. The servant smiled and led
him inside. As they walked through the house, the man from the village looked eagerly around the house, anticipating his encounter with the Holy Man. Before he knew it, he had been led to the back door and escorted outside. He stopped and angrily turned to the servant, "But I want to see the Holy Man!"

"You already have," said the old man. "Everyone you may meet in life, even if they appear plain and insignificant... see each of them as a wise and enlightened Being. If you do this, you will attain Freedom from all suffering very soon!"

Unless you empty your cup!

A university professor went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the professor talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The professor watched the overflowing cup until he could no longer restrain himself. "It's overfull! No more will go in!" the professor blurted. "You are like this cup," the master replied, "How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup."

Is Life a Waking Dream ?


The great Taoist master Chuang Tzu once dreamt that he was a butterfly fluttering here and there. In the dream he had no awareness of his individuality as a person. He was only a butterfly. Suddenly, he awoke and found himself laying there, a person once again. But then he thought to himself, "Was I before a man who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being a man?"

Imitation can be the highest form of praise, but in some cases . . .

A new missionary recruit went to Venezuela for the first time. He was struggling
with the language and didn't understand a whole lot of what was going on.
Intending to visit one of the local churches, he got lost, but eventually got back on
track and found the place. Having arrived late, the church was already packed. The
only pew with a seat open was the one on the front row.

So as not to make a fool of himself, this recruit decided to pick someone out of the
crowd to imitate. He chose to follow the man sitting next to him on the front pew.
As they sang, the missionary tried to follow along.

When the man stood up to pray, the missionary recruit stood up too. When the
man sat down, he sat down. When the man took the cup and bread for the Lord's
Supper, he took the cup and bread. During the preaching, the recruit didn't
understand a thing. He just sat there and tried to look just like that man in the front
pew.

Then he perceived that the preacher was giving announcements. People clapped,
so he looked to see if the man was clapping. He was, and so the recruit clapped
too. Then the preacher said some words that he didn't understand and he saw the
man next to him stand up. So he stood up too. Suddenly a hush fell over the entire
congregation. A few people gasped.

He looked around and saw that nobody else was standing, so he sat down.

After the service ended, the preacher stood at the door shaking the hands of those
who were leaving. When the missionary recruit stretched out his hand to greet the
preacher, the preacher said, in English: "I take it you don't speak Spanish."

The missionary recruit replied: "No I don't. Is it that obvious?"

"Well yes," said the preacher, "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born
baby boy and would the proud father please stand up."

Author Unknown

When Tired

A student once asked his teacher, "Master, what is enlightenment?"

The master replied, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep."

I have seen something much better than flowers!

One spring the Haiku poet Basho decided to take a trip to see the flowers in
a certain place famed for its scenery. Along the way he heard of a poor
peasant girl noted for devotion to her parents. Intrigued, Basho went
looking for the girl. When he found her, he gave her all the money he had
brought for his travel expenses. Then he returned home, without having seen
the flowers.

He said, "This year I have seen something better than flowers."

Fixed Attention ?

Nasrudin, as everyone knows, came from a country where fruit is fruit, and meat is meat, and curry is never eaten. One day he was plodding along a dusty Indian road, having just descended from the high mountains, when a great thirst overtook him. "Soon," he said to himself, "I must come across somewhere that good fruit is to be had."

No sooner were the words formed in his brain than he rounded a corner and saw sitting in the shade of a tree a benevolent-looking man, with a basket in front of him.

Piled high in the basket were huge, shiny red fruits. "This is what I need," said Nasrudin. Taking two tiny coppers from the knot at the end of his turban, he handed them to the fruit-seller.

Without a word the man handed him the whole basket, for this kind of fruit is cheap in India, and people usually buy it in smaller amounts.

Nasrudin sat down in the place vacated by the fruit seller, and started to munch the fruits. Within a few seconds, his mouth was burning. Tears streamed down his cheeks, fire was in his throat. The Mulla went on eating.

An hour or two passed, and then an Afghan Hillman came past. Nasrudin hailed him. "Brother, these infidel fruits must come from the very mouth of Sheitan!"

"Fool!" said the Hillman. "Hast thou never heard of the chillies of Hindustan? Stop eating them at once, or death will surely claim a victim before the sun is down."

"I cannot move from here," gasped the Mulla, "until I have finished the whole basketful."

"Madman! Those fruits belong in curry! Throw them away at once."

"I am not eating fruit any more," croaked Nasrudin, "I am eating my money."

Do not give your heart to that which does not satisfy your heart.

Abba Poem  from:  The Sayings of the Desert Fathers  (p. 178, Poem 80)

Stop Eating Candy

A little boy in a village who is always eating candy. His father did everything he could to get him to stop eating candy, but he wouldn't stop eating candy, he ate candy all day long. His parents were at their wits' end, they tried everything and nothing worked. Then the father heard about this famous wise man, Mulla Nasrudin, who lived in a far away village, and he thought that maybe this Mulla could help. So one day the boy was taken by his father on a walk from their village to where the famous Mulla lived.

They walked for days... they climbed over mountains... had to ford a river... when finally they got to the residence where the Mulla lived. The father said, "Mulla, please if you could help, my son just eats candy all day long and we can't get him to stop. Can you help?" The Mulla said, "Yes, I can help you, come back in two weeks time."
The father said, "O.k., I can do that." Then he and his little boy again had to ford the river, cross over the mountains, and walk for days to get back to their village. After two weeks go by, once again they start on their arduous journey. They walk for days, cross the mountains and ford the river and finally get to the Mulla.

The father said, "O.k. Mulla we are back, it's been two weeks, can you help my boy?" And the Mulla said, "Yes I can." So the Mulla looks in the boy's eyes and said,

"My dear boy, STOP EATING CANDY."

The father was upset and he said to the Mulla, "If that was all you were going to do why didn't you do that two weeks ago?" The Mulla said, "Well, two weeks ago I was eating candy!"

Sufi Stories

On Resting

"Once there was a man who hated his own shadow.
When he walked and found that his shadow was close behind him,
he began to walk faster and faster.

But the faster he moved, the closer his shadow came.
So he ran like a madman.. and in the end, he dropped dead.

Those who do no understand the Tao are just like the man
who hated his shadow. It is actually very easy to be rid
of one's shadow -- just rest under a tree.

Zhuangzi (Zhuang Zhou)

369-286 BC

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind

Nasruddin was muttering to himself delightedly when his friend asked him what it was all about.

Said Nasrudin, "That idiot Ahmed keeps slapping me on the back each time he sees me. Well, I've put a stick of dynamite under my coat today, so this time when he slaps me he'll blow his arm off!"

Sufi Story

Eight Martini Effect

Well, if it's the Eight-Martini Results you want to talk about, I won't talk about them."

What, the hell is an "eight-martini" result? Well, this is an intelligence community in-house term for remote viewing data so good that it cracks everyone's realities. So they have to go out and drink eight martinis to recover. Remote viewing does have its amusing aspects, you know.

The ABC TV Nightline show of 28 November 1995 (hosted by Ted Koppel)

On Gratitude and Appreciation

Nasrudin saw a man sitting dispiritedly at the side of the road. And asked him what troubled him.

"There is nothing of interest in life, my brother," said the man.

"I have sufficient capital in order that I don't have to work, and I am only on this trip in order to seek something more interesting and entertaining than the life I have
at home."

"So far I haven't found it!"

Without another word, Nasrudin seized the travelers knapsack and made off down the road with it, running like a rabbit. Since he knew the area, he was easily able to out distance him

The road curved, and Nasrudin cut across several switchbacks, with the result that he was soon back on the road, well ahead of the man he had just robbed.

He put the knapsack by the side of the road and waited for the distressed traveler to show up.

Presently the miserable man appeared, following the tortuous road, more unhappy than ever because of his loss.

As soon as he saw his property lying there, by the side of the road, he ran towards it, shouting with joy.

"That's one way of producing happiness," said Nasrudin.

Author Unknown

Being Happy to be Me