Title: A Throwaway (5/10/2003, 1427 hrs) We have come to an end. But really. I shouldn't. Need not. Pretend. That I would care about 'We'. History has ended. Or rather. History has finally caught up with us. The recording of history. Now there is much of nothing much to fill our dusty books and bloated databases. That's it! 'Data'. A bloggish endeavour to make even the mortal pains of unnameable third-world countries induce apathy. A non-event to end all previous events. Beginning of a perhaps more beautiful ...............................(illusional/delusional) sunset. === Title: LAND ROVER training manual Youth, Skin. Tact. Not there. Shamelessness. An afternoon gone astray Guilt, an afterthought or not At all causes keep a secret. till its not worth much. Innocence is not young. === Untitled open eyes, petals of floral spread alive. welcome waters of yesterday's sorrow, renewed in dew. "there is nothing left unsaid. you and me. no, silence isn't awkward anymore." released book, free of binding. let pages be blown through chill of morning, turn into ash. fires benign, transport words into final form. immortal. "fast as light. let's take a step. walk a little lighter, with a bounce and hop. only we drift away." broken hook, tell a tale. quotes and allusion, truth into myth, misinterpret. lost in obscurity, toss away. bring another callous prop, cast another witty line, let it not end this time. "be with me." === Title: Jilt/Defeatist/The Petty/ ??? fatal abstractions, deliver me forth one more step. stumble back. recognition in eye, observe floating sands in spiral. shake our hands. apologise. let us introduce ourselves again. trust you for the package paid for, trust me and my money good for. firm hands and sincere smiles, i'll like to see that in font size 12, signed and witnessed. in event of fire, i have it made sure that you're an investment that won't hurt to lose. a cold hand once taken, now, liabilities to be written off. fatal resignations, set the limit of defence one step ahead... stand back. observe tasteful rodents as they fancy street-side exotics. in good faith, to see you skewered. === Title : Lazy in ... it was never like i believed in you (or that sometime between us). in different directions, i stumbled as you strided. already used to walking the vastness of my private desert. i never thought it . a pleasant surprise. when guilty gazings were returned with demure trappings. how could i not see the common social conventions? whether half-baked plans or awkward replies. internal ramblings wouldn't carry me further ... and actions taken. to never regret. should i feel lucky thereafter. incapable of greatness? now shades of vermillion, only a visual. reminders of you. and fallen props ,out of use. i could say, "it has never been better". this private desert is so much simpler. === 03.09.2004 ,1700hrs (the pale ghost) i open up to let you stab me in the heart but you never came so what a shame the pale ghost rides on a journey to no end passenger eyes on a world of blinding night lights words spoken forgotten and nevermind hold on to feelings there never were meanings never clear day is night is day as i wait for the day === working title: man reduced to child-speak whatever when a man might say "accomplished much and praised i may..." but nothing in this life could spare a glimmer to a godless heavy head of despair and anger march march... on and stoic... is this but an existential ward? death is easy, living is harder fleeting periods of joy and laughter, wouldn't it be better to just be "happier"? "everything transient" as spoken by the wise. but can we let go or should we pray? if god is a simple answer, then human is an adult question... jaded, dirty, cynical. for man is too complex to conform and too tainted to love eternally. AND THAT IS ALL.