Kill You

When I just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man.
She used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized she was the crazy one
But there was nothin I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she was

They said I can't rap about bein broke no more
They say I can't rap about coke no more
(AHHH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AHHH!) These motherfuckers are thinkin I'm playin
Thinkin I'm sayin the shit cause I'm thinkin it just to be sayin it
(AHHH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gon' shoot you
I'ma pull you to this bullet, and put it through you
(AHHH!) Shut up slut, you're causin too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, okay Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches!
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! [chainsaw revs up]
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
danglin from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts

(Chorus)

Bitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls leave - you ain't nuttin but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gon' never stop beefin I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for poppin off at the mouth with shit I shouldn'ta said
But when they kill me - I'm bringin the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nuttin but a girl to me

I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you (ah-haha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fuckin kill you..

Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm tryin to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't ask to rap, but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumpin out of somethin up on the 10th
(AHHHHHH!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hidin murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in

(Chorus)

Eh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creepin in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the study body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathin
I'm leavin air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screamin for me to seep it
OKAY, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROATS ACHE
You faggots keep eggin me on
til I have you at knifepoint,
then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talkin to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME!

(Chorus)

Hahaha, I'm just playin ladies
You know I love you

Stan (featuring Dido)
-
-
(Chorus: Dido)
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

[Eminem as "Stan"]
Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin
I left my cell, my pager,
and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn,
you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem
at the post office or somethin
Sometimes I scribble addresses
too sloppy when I jot 'em
but anyways; fuck it, what's been up?
Man how's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too,
I'm bout to be a father
If I have a daughter,
guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Bonnie
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over
some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this everyday,
but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit
that you did with Scam
I got a room full of your posters
and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Ruckus too,
that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man,
hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours,
your biggest fan
This is Stan

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem as "Stan"]
Dear Slim, you still ain't called
or wrote, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think it's FUCKED UP
you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna talk to me
outside your concert
you didn't have to, but you coulda signed
an autograph for Matthew
That's my little brother man,
he's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you,
four hours and you just said, "No."
That's pretty shitty man -
you're like his fuckin idol
He wants to be just like you man,
he likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though,
I just don't like bein lied to
Remember when we met in Denver -
you said if I'd write you
you would write back -
see I'm just like you in a way
I never knew my father neither;
he used to always cheat
on my mom and beat her
I can relate to what
you're saying in your songs
so when I have a shitty day,
I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really got shit else
so that shit helps when I'm depressed
I even got a tattoo of your name
across the chest
Sometimes I even cut myself
to see how much it bleeds
It's like adrenaline,
the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real,
and I respect you cause you tell it
My girlfriend's jealous cause
I talk about you 24/7
But she don't know you
like I know you Slim, no one does
She don't know what it was like
for people like us growin up
You gotta call me man,
I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. We should be together too

(Chorus: Dido)

[Eminem as "Stan"]
Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-
Call-Or-Write-My-Fans,
this'll be the last package
I ever send your ass
It's been six months and still no word
- I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two letters;
I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette
I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm in the car right now,
I'm doing 90 on the freeway
Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka,
you dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins,
"In the Air of the Night"
about that guy who coulda saved
that other guy from drowning
but didn't, then Phil saw it all,
then at a show he found him?
That's kinda how this is,
you coulda rescued me from drowning
Now it's too late -
I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL
of your pictures off the wall
I love you Slim, we coulda been together,
think about it
You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep
and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep
and you SCREAM about it
I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU
and you can't BREATHE without me!
See Slim; [screaming]
Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend
screamin in the trunk
but I didn't slit her throat,
I just tied her up, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more,
and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed
to send this shit out?
[car tires squeal]
[CRASH]
[brief silence]
[SPLASH]

{Chorus: Dido}

[Eminem]
Dear Stan, I meant to write you
sooner but I just been busy
You said your girlfriend's pregnant now,
how far along is she?
Look, I'm really flattered
you would call your daughter that
and here's an autograph for your brother,
I wrote it on the Starter cap
I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show,
I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit
intentionally just to diss you
But what's this shit you said about
you like to cut your wrists too?
I say that shit just clownin dog ,
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Stan,
I think you need some counseling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls
when you get down some
And what's this shit
about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me
not want us to meet each other
I really think you and your
girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this letter,
I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt yourself,
I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little,
I'm glad I inspire you but Stan
why are you so mad? Try to understand,
that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on the news a
couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and
drove his car over a bridge
and had his girlfriend in the trunk,
and she was pregnant with his kid
and in the car they found a tape,
but they didn't say who it was to
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!

Who Knew

I never knew I..
I never knew I..
Mic check one-two
I never knew I..
Who woulda knew?
I never knew I..
Who'da known?
I never knew I..
Fuck what a story
I never knew I..
Motherfucker comes out
I never knew I..
and sells a couple of million records
I never knew I..
And these motherfuckers hit the ceiling
I never knew I..

I don't do black music, I don't do white music
I make fight music, for high school kids
I put lives at risk when I drive like this [tires screech]
I put wives at risk with a knife like this (AHHH!!)
Shit, you probably think I'm in your tape deck now
I'm in the back seat of your truck, with duct tape stretched out
Ducked the fuck way down, waitin to straight jump out
put it over your mouth, and grab you by the face, what now?
Oh - you want me to watch my mouth, how?
Take my fuckin eyeballs out, and turn em around?
Look - I'll burn your fuckin house down, circle around
and hit the hydrant, so you can't put your burning furniture out
(Oh my God! Oh my God!) I'm sorry, there must be a mix-up
You want me to fix up lyrics while the President gets his dick sucked?
[ewwww] Fuck that, take drugs, rape sluts
Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor
Quit tryin to censor music,
this is for your kid's amusement
(The kids!) But don't blame me when lil' Eric jumps off of the terrace
You shoulda been watchin him - apparently you ain't parents

(Chorus)

Cause I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch
I never knew I, knew I would get this big
I never knew I, knew I'd effect this kid
I never knew I'd, get him to slit his wrist
I never knew I'd, get him to hit this bitch

So who's bringin the guns in this country? (Hmm?)
I couldn't sneak a plastic pellet gun through customs over in London
And last week, I seen a Schwarzaneggar movie
where he's shootin all sorts of these motherfuckers with a uzi
I sees three little kids, up in the front row,
screamin "Go," with their 17-year-old Uncle
I'm like, "Guidance? - ain't they got the same moms and dads
who got mad when I asked if they liked violence?"
And told me that my tape taught 'em to swear
What about the make-up you allow
your 12-year-old daughter to wear?
(Hmm?) So tell me that your son doesn't know any cuss words
when his bus driver's screamin at him, fuckin him up worse
("Go sit the fuck down, you little fuckin prick!")
And "fuck" was the first word I ever learned
up in the third grade, flippin the gym teacher the bird (Look!)
Read up about how I used to get beat up
peed on, be on free lunch,
and change school every 3 months
My life's like kinda what my wife's like (what?)
Fucked up after I beat her fuckin ass every night, Ike
So how much easier would life be
if 19 million motherfuckers grew to be just like me?

(Chorus)

I never knew I.. knew I'd..
have a new house or a new car
A couple years ago I was more poorer than you are
I don't got that bad of a mouth, do I?
Fuck shit ass bitch cunt, shooby-de-doo-wop (what?)
Skibbedy-be-bop, a-Christopher Reeves
Sonny Bono, skis horses and hittin some trees (HEY!)
How many retards'll listen to me
and run up in the school shootin when they're pissed at a
teach-er, her, him, is it you is it them?
"Wasn't me, Slim Shady said to do it again!"
Damn! How much damage can you do with a pen?
Man I'm just as fucked up as you woulda been
if you woulda been, in my shoes, who woulda thought
Slim Shady would be somethin that you woulda bought
that woulda made you get a gun and shoot at a cop
I just said it - I ain't know if you'd do it or not

(Chorus)

How the fuck was I supposed to know?

Steve Berman

(Eminem)
"Ehiii"

(Steve Berman)
"Ehi Em what's up?"

(Eminem)
"Steve Berman, what's goin' on man? How you doin'?
Good to see you again. What's up?"

(Steve Berman)
"Em, could you come in and have a seat please?
Vanessa, shut the door."

(Vanessa)
"Okay."

(Eminem)
"So what's up, how's the orders for the first week?"

(Steve Berman)
"It would be better if you gave me nothing at all.
This album is less than nothing.
I can't sell this fucking record.
Do you know what's happening to me out there?"

(Eminem)
"What's the problem?"

(Steve Berman)
"Violet told me to fuck myself."

(Eminem)
"Who's Violet?"

(Steve Berman)
"Tower Records told me
to shove this record up my ass!
Do you know what if feels like to be told
that a record shoved up your ass!?
Im gonna loose my fucking job over this.
You know why Dre's record are so succesfull?
He's rapping about big screen tv's, blunts, 40s
40's and bitches. You're rapping about homosexual and Vicadin.
I can't sell this shit!
Change the record or it's not coming out...
now get the fuck out of my office!"

(Eminem)
"What am I supposed to..."

(Steve Berman)
"NOW!"

(Eminem)
"Ay man, whatever..."

The Way I Am

Dre just let it run
A yo turn the beat up a little bit
A yo
This song is for anyone
Fuck it shut up and listen

A yo,
I sit back with this pack of Zig Zags and this bag
Of this weed it gives me the shit needed to be
The most meanest Mcee on this -- on this Earth
And since birth I've been cursed
with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
All this tension dispensin me sentences gettin it
Stress that's been eaten me recently offa this chest
And I rest again peacefully --
But at least have the decency in you to leave me alone
When you freaks see me out in the streets
when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
To not come and speak to me --
I don't know you and no, I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-ing thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync
I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. friendly I can be a prick
If you tip me my tank is on empty
No patience is in me and if you offend me I'm liftin you 10 feet
In the air I don't care who is there
and who saw me jus jaw you
Go call you a lawyer go file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of all you --
I don't mean to be mean
but that's all I can be... is just me

(Chorus)

And I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know... it's just the way I am

Sometimes I just feel like my father
I hate to be bothered
With alla this nonsense it's constant
Oh it's his lyrical content the song "Guilty Concience"
has gotten such rotten responses
And all-a this controversy circles me
And it seems like the media immedietly
Points a finger at me --
So I point one back at em but not the index or pinky
Or the ring or the thumb it's the one you put up
When you don't give a fuck when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull cuz they fulla shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn --
And the heroin where were the parents at
And look where it's at
Middle America now it's a tragedy now it's so sad to see
An upperclass city havin this happenin --
Then attack Eminem cuz I rap this way
But I'm glad cuz they feed me
the fuel that I need
For the fire to burn in it's burnin and I have returned

(Chorus)

I'm so sick and tired of being admired
That I wish I would just die or get fired
And drop from my label and stop with the fables
I'm not gonna be able to top what my name is
And pigeon-holed into some pop-y sensation
To cop me rotation at rock-an-roll stations
And I just do not got the patience --
To deal with these cocky Caucasians
Who think I'm some wigger who just tries to be black
Cuz I talk wit an accent and grab on my balls
So they always keep askin the same fucking questions
What school did I go to what hood I grew up in
And why the who what when the where and the how
till I'm grabbin my hair and I'm tearin it out
Cuz they drivin me crazy --
I can't take it I'm racin
I stand and I sit
I'm thankful for every fan that I get
But I can't take a shit in the bathroom
Without someone standin by it
No i won't sign your autograph
You can call me an asshole I'm glad

Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
Radio won't even play my jam
Cuz I am whatever you say I am
If I wasn't then why would I say I am?
In the paper, the news everyday I am
I don't know... it's just the way I am

The Real Slim Shady

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like ya never seen a white person before
Jaws all on the floor like Pam,
like Tommy just burst in the door
And started whooping her ass worse than before
They first were divorce, throwin’ her over furniture (Ahh!)
It's the return of the...
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
he just didn't say what I think he did, did he?"
And Dr. Dre said...
Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement!
(Ha-ha!)
Feminist women love Eminem
[Eminem as a feminist] "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Flipping the you-know-what, yeah, but he's so cute though"
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
But no worse than what's going on in your parents' bedrooms
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
But it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
By the time they hit fourth grade
They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
"We ain't nothing but mammals"
Well, some of us cannibals
Who cut other people open like cantaloupes
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
Then there's no reason that a man
and another man can't elope
But if you feel like I feel, I got the anecdote
Women wave your panty-hoes, sing the chorus and it goes

(Chorus)

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up
Cuz I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up

Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records
Well I do so "Fuck him and fuck you too!"
You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me let alone stand me
"But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here
So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
And hear them argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee"
I should download her audio on MP3 and show the whole world
how you gave Eminem VD
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups
All you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you
And there's a million of us just like me
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
And just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

(Chorus)

I'm like a head trip to listen to cuz I'm only giving you
Things you joke about with your friends inside your living room
The only difference is I got the balls to say it
In front of y'all and I don't gotta be frost or sugar coated at all
I just get on a mic and spit it and whether you like to admit it
I just shitted better than 90 percent of you rappers out there
Then you wonder how can kids
eat up these albums like valiums
It's funny cuz at the rate I'm going when I'm 30
I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting
Pinching nurses asses when I'm jacking off with Jergens
And I’m jerkin’ but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
And every single person is a Slim Shady lurking
He could be working at Burger King spitting on your onion rings
Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
With his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

(Chorus)

Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up

Remember Me?

(RBX)
Remember me? ("Several executions")
Remember me? ("I have no remorse")
Remember me? ("I'm high-powered")
Remember me? ("I drop bombs like Hiroshima")

For this, why it's the X, you retarded?
'Cause I grab the mic and get down, like syndrome
Hide in Rome and to the masses, without boundaries
Whice qualifies me for the term "universal"
Without no rehearsal, colleaged words is controversial
Like I'm not, the one you wanna contest, see
'Cause I'll hit your ass like the train did that bitch
that got "Banned From TV"
Heavyweight get up, hit you,
watch you're whole head split up
Loco is the motion, weed comin' through
Hollow tips in the lead, the .45 through

(Sticky Fingaz)
Remember me? ("Throw ya gunz in the air!")
Remember me? ("Slam! Slam!")
Remember me? ("Nigga bacdafucup!")
Remember me? ("Chka-chka-Onyx!")

Niggas catchin' "no" for an answer, ghetto no
Yeah, that bitch hoe no'd but it was more like "no, no, no!!"
Life's a bitch; yeah it'll fuck you if you let her
Better come better than better to be a competitor
This vet is a head, the shit is all redder,
you deader and deader - I better
extended the cheddars and credda
Settle vendetta, a mellow
Beretta from ghetto to ghetto
Evidence? Nope! Never leave a shredda
I got the soul of every rapper in me, love me or hate me
My moms got raped by the industry and made me
I'm the illest nigga ever, I told you
I get more pussy than them dyke bitches total
Want beef, nigga? PSH better dead that shit
My name should be "Can't-Believe
-That-Nigga-Said-That-Shit"
Probably say "he ain't a killa", but I'm killin' myself
Smoke def, fuck bitches raw, on the kitchen floor
So think what I'ma do to you, have done to you
Got niggas in my hood who'd do that shit for a bullet too
What you wanna do, cocksuckers?
We're glock busters 'Til the cops cuff us,
we'll start Ruckusand drop blockbusters
'Round the clock hustlers, you cannot touch us
I'm gettin' wires niggas wantin' me dead
One in my head, you think it could be somethin' I said?

(Eminem)
Remember me? ("I just don't give a fuck!")
Remember me? ("Yeah, fuck you too!")
Remember me? ("I'm low down and I'm shifty!")
Remember me? ("I'm Shady!")

When I go out, I'ma go out shootin'
I don't mean when I die,
I mean when I go out to the club, stupid
I'm tryin' to clear up my fuckin' image,
so I promised the fuckin' critics
I wouldn't say "fuckin'" for six minutes
( Six minutes, Slim Shady, you're on)
My baby's mom, bitch made me an angry blonde
So I made me a song, killed her and put Haley on
I may be wrong, I keep thinkin' these crazy thoughts
In my cranium, but I'm stuck with a crazy mom
(Is she really on as much dope as you say she's on?)
Came home, and somebody
must've broke in the back window
And stole two golden machine guns
and both of my trenchcoats
Sick sick dreams of picnic scenes, two kids, sixteen
And M-16's with ten clips each
And them shits reach through 6 kids each
And Slim gets blamed in Bill Clinton's
speech to fix these streets?
FUCK THAT! PSH you faggots can vanish to volcanic ash
And I re-appear in hell with a can of gas, AND a match
Aftermath, Dre, grab the gat, show 'em where it's at
(What the fuck you starin' at, nigga?)

Don't you remember me?
Remember me?
Remember me?!

Remember me?!

I'm Back
-
-
CHORUS 4X:
That's why they call me Slim Shady
(I'm Back) I'm Back, (I'm Back) I'm Back

[Verse 1]
I murder a rhyme one word at a time
You never, heard of a mind as perverted as mine
You better, get rid of that nine, it aint gonna help
What good's it gonna do against a man that strangles himself?
I'm waitin for hell like hell shit I'm anxious as hell
Manson, you're safe in that cell, be thankful it's jail
I used to be my mommy's little angel at twelve
At thirteen I was puttin shells in a gauge on a shelf
I used to, get punched and bullied on my block
Til I cut a kitten's head off and stuck it in this kid's mail box
I used to give a, fuck, now I could give a fuckless
What do I think of success?
It sucks too much press I'm stressed
Too much cess with agress too upset
it's just too much mess
I guess I must just blew up quick, yes
Grew up quick, no, was raised right,
whatever you say is wrong
Whatever I say is right
You think of my name now whenever you say hi
Became a commodity because I'm W H I
T E, cuz MTV was so friendly to me,
can't wait till Kim sees me
Now is it worth it? Look at my life how is it perfect?
Read my lips bitch, what, my mouth isn't workin?
You see this finger, oh it's upside down
Here let me turn this
motherfucker up right now

CHORUS 4X

I take each individual degenerates
head and reach into it
Just to see if he's influenced
by me if he listens to music
And if he feeds into this shit
he's an innocent victim
And becomes a puppet on the
string of my tennis shoe
My name is Slim Shady, I been crazy
way before radio didn't play me
The sensational, "Back is the incredible!"
With Ken Kaniff who just finds the men edible
It's Ken Kaniff, on the internet
Trying to, lure your kids, wit him into bed
It's a, sick world we live in these days
Slim for Pete's sakes put down
Christopher Reeve's legs!
Sheez you guys are so sensitive
"Slim it's touchy subject
try and just don't mention it"
Mind with no sense in it, tried to get so frenetic
Whose eyes get so squinted,
I'm blind from smokin 'em
Wit my windows tinted, wit nine limos
rented, doin lines of coke in 'em
Wit a bunch of guys hoppin out
all high and indo scented
And that's where I get my name from,
that's why they call me

CHORUS 4X

I take seven -- from ----- stand 'em all in line
Add an AK - 47, a revolver, a nine
A mack 11 and assault a problem of mine
A natural old school bully shot em all at one time
Cuz I'm Shady, they call me as crazy
As the world was over this whole Y2K thing
And by the way, *N'SYNC why do they sing
Am I the only one who realizes they stink?
Should I dye my hair pink
and care what y'all think?
Lip sync and buy a bigger size of earrings?
It's why I tend to block out when I hear things
Cuz all these fans screamin is makin my ears ring
So I just, throw up a middle finger and let it linger
Longer than the rumor that I was stickin it to Christina
Cuz if I ever stuck it to any singer in showbiz
It'd be Jennifer Lopez and Puffy you know this!
I'm sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck
if this chick was my own mother
I still fuck her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it aint mine, what's my name?

CHORUS 4X

Guess who's back (back)
geh- geh- guess who's back
Hi mom
Guess who's back
geh- geh- guess who's back
D-12
Guess who's back
geh- geh- geh- geh- guess who's back
Dr Dre
Guess who's back, back, back, back
Slim Shady
2001
I'm blew out from this blunt
fuck

Marshall Mathers
-
-
You know I just don't get it
Last year I was nobody
This year I'm sellin records
Now everybody wants to come
around like I owe em somethin
Heh, the fuck you want from me, ten million dollars?
Get the fuck out of here

(Chorus 1)

You see I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm just a regular guy,
I don't know why all the fuss
about me (fuss about me)
Nobody ever gave a fuck before,
all they did was doubt me (did was doubt me)
Now everybody wanna run they mouth
and try to take shots at me (take shots at me)

Yo, you might see me joggin, you might see me walkin
You might see me walkin a dead rottweiler dog
with it's head chopped off in the park with a spiked collar
hollerin at him cause the son of a bitch won't quit barkin
(grrrr, ARF ARF) Or leanin out a window,
with a cocked shotgun
Drivin up the block in the car that they shot 'Pac in
Lookin for Big's killers, dressed in ridiculous
blue and red like I don't see what the big deal is
Double barrel twelve gauge bigger than Chris Wallace
Pissed off, cause Biggie and 'Pac just missed all this
Watchin all these cheap imitations get rich off 'em
and get dollars that shoulda been there's
like they switched wallets
And amidst all this Crist' poppin and wristwatches
I had to sit back and just watch and just get nauseous
and walk around with an empty bottle of Remi Martin
startin shit like some 26-year-old
skinny Cartman ("God damnit!")
I'm anti-Backstreet and Ricky Martin
with instincts to kill N'Sync, don't get me started
These fuckin brats can't sing and Britney's garbage
What's this bitch retarded? Gimme back my sixteen dollars
All I see is sissies in magazines smiling
Whatever happened to whylin out and bein violent?
Whatever happened to catchin a good-ol' fashioned
passionate ass-whoopin and gettin
your shoes coat and your hat tooken?
New Kids on the Block, sucked a lot of dick
Boy/girl groups make me sick
And I can't wait 'til I catch all you faggots in public
I'ma love it.. (hahaha)
Vanilla Ice don't like me (uh-uh)
Said some shit in Vibe to spite me (yup)
Then went and dyed his hair just like me (hehe)
A bunch of little kids wanna swear just like me
and run around screamin,
"I don't care, just bite me" (nah nah)
I think I was put here to annoy the world
and destroy your little 4-year-old boy or girl
Plus I was put here to put fear in faggots
who spray Faygo Root Beer
and call themselves "Clowns"
cause they look queer
Faggot2Dope and Silent Gay
Claimin Detroit, when y'all live
twenty miles awa y (fuckin punks)
And I don't wrestle, I'll knock you fuckin faggots the fuck out
Ask 'em about the club they was at when they snuck out
after they ducked out the back
when they saw us and bugged out
(AHHH!) Ducked down and got
paintballs shot at they truck, blaow!
Look at y'all runnin your mouth again
when you ain't seen a fuckin Mile Road, South of 10
And I don't need help, from D-12,
to beat up two females in make-up,
who may try to scratch me with Lee Nails
"Slim Anus," you damn right, Slim Anus
I don't get fucked in mine like
you two little flaming faggots!

(Ritornello 2)

Cause I'm, just Marshall Mathers (Marshall Mathers)
I'm not a wrestler guy,
I'll knock you out if you talk about me (you talk about me)
Come and see me on the streets alone
if you assholes doubt me (assholes doubt me)
And if you wanna run your mouth
then come take your best
shot at me (your best shot at me)

Is it because you love me that y'all expect so much of me?
You little groupie bitch, get off me, go fuck Puffy
Now because of this blonde mop that's on top
and this fucked up head that I've got, I've gone pop?
The underground just spunned around and did a 360
Now these kids diss me and act like some big sissies
"Oh, he just did some shit with Missy,
so now he thinks he's too big
to do some shit with MC Get-Bizzy"
My fuckin bitch mom's suin for ten million
She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin
Shit, where the fuck you think I picked up the habit?
All I had to do was go in her room and lift up her mattress
Which is it bitch, Mrs. Briggs or Ms. Mathers?
It doesn't matter you *several seconds of silence* faggot!
Talkin about I fabricated my past
He's just aggravated I won't ejaculate in his ass (Uhh!)
So tell me, what the hell is a fella to do?
For every million I make, another relative sues
Family fightin and fussin over
who wants to invite me to supper
All the sudden, I got 90 Slim cousins (Hey it's me!)
A half-brother and sister who never seen me
or even bothered to call me until they saw me on TV
Now everybody's so happy and proud
I'm finally allowed to step foot in my girlfriend's house
Hey-hey! And then to top it off, I walked to the newsstand
to buy this cheap-ass little magazine with a food stamp
Skipped to the last page, flipped right fast
and what do I see? A picture of my big white ass
Okay, let me give you motherfuckers some help:
uhh, here - DOUBLE XL, DOUBLE XL
Now your magazine shouldn't have so much trouble to sell
Ahh fuck it, I'll even buy a couple myself

(Ritornello x2)

-
-
Drug Ballad
-
-
-
-[Girl] Yeaaah, hahahaha...whooooo, shit!
(aight)
Guess what? I ain't coming in yet...
I'll come in a minute
Ayo...This is my love song...it goes like this

[Eminem]
Back when Mark Walhberg was Marky Mark
This is how we used to make the party start
We used to mix Hen' with Bacardi Dark
And when it, kicks in you can hardly talk
And by the, sixth gin you're gonna probably crawl
And you'll be, sick then and you'll probably barf
And my pre-diction is you're gonna probably fall
Either somewhere in the lobby or the hallway wall
And everything's spinning
You're beginin' to think women
are swimming in pink linen again in the sink
Then in a couple of minutes that
bottle of Guiness is finished
You are now allowed to officially slap bitches
You have the right to remain
violent and start wilin'
Start a fight with the same guy
that was smart eyin' you
Get in your car, start it, and start drivin'
Over the island and cause a 42 car pile-up

[Em's spaceman voice]
Earth calling, pilot to co-pilot
Look at the life on this planet,
sir, no sign of it
All I can see is a bunch of smoke flyin'
And I'm so high that I might
die if I go by it
Let me out of this place
I'm outta place
I'm in outer space
I've just vanished without a trace
I'm going to a pretty place now
where the flowers grow
I'll be back in an hour or so

[Chorus: Eminem]
'Cause every time I go to try to leave
Something keeps pullin' on my sleeve
I don't wanna, but I gotta stay
These drugs really got ahold of me

'Cause every time I try to tell them "no"
They won't let me ever let them go
I'm a sucka all I gotta say
These drugs really got ahold of me

[Eminem]
In third grade, all I used to do
Was sniff glue through a tube
and play rubix cube
17 years later I'm as rude as jew
Scheming on the first chick with the hugest boobs
I've got no game
And every face looks the same
They've got no name
So I don't need game to play
I just say whatever I want to whoever I want
Whenever I want, wherever I want, however I want
However, I do show some respect to few
As ecstacy got me standing next to you
Getting sentimental as fuck
spillin' guts to you
We just met
But I think I'm in love with you
But you're on it too
So you tell me you love me too
Wake up in the morning like
"Yo, what the fuck we do?"
I gotta go bitch
You know I have stuff to do
'Cause if I get caught cheatin'
then I'm stuck with you
But in the long run
These drugs are probably going
to catch up sooner or later
But fuck it, I'm on one
So let's enjoy
Let the X destroy your spinal cord
So it's not a straight line no more
'Til we walk around
looking like some wind-up dolls
Shit's sticking out of our backs like a dinosaur
Shit, six hits won't even get me high no more
So bye for now
I'm going to try to find some more

[Chorus Eminem]

That's the sound of a bottle when it's hollow
When you swallow it all wollow
and drown in your sorrow
And tomorrow you're probably
going to want to do it again
What's a little spinal fluid between
you and a friend? Screw it
And what's a little bit of alcohol poisoning?
And what's a little fight?
Tomorrow you'll be boys again
It's your life
Live it however you wanna
Marijuana is everywhere
Where was you brought up?
It don't matter as long as
you get where you're going
'Cause none of the shit is going
to mean shit where we're going
They tell you to stop, but you just sit there ignoring
Even though you wake up
feeling like shit every morning
But you're young
You've got a lot of drugs to do
Girls to screw
Parties to crash
Sucks to be you
If I could take it all back now, I wouldn't
I would have did more shit
that people said that I shouldn't
But I'm all grown up now
and upgraded and graduated
Did better drugs and updated
But I've still got a lot of growing up to do
I've still got a whole lot of throwing up to spew
But when it's all said and done I'll be 40
Before I know it with a 40
on the porch telling stories
With a bottle of Jack
Two grandkids in my lap
Babysiting for Haley while
Haley's out getting smashed

Chorus 2x

Amityville

(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, duh-da-da-da-da
(kill kill kill)
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum.. dum
Dahh-dum, dahh-dum, dumm..
(kill kill kill)

Chorus: Eminem

Mentally illll from Amityvilllle (ILLLL)
Accidentally killll your family stillll
Thinkin he won't?
God-damnit he willll (HE'SSSS)
Mentally illll from Amityvilllle
** {HE'SSSS} - on repeats only **

[Eminem]
I get lifted and spit
until I'm half-twisted
Feet planted and stand with a grin
full of chapped lipstick {*SMACK*}
Pen full of ink,
think sinful and rap sick shit
Shrink pencil me in for my last visit
Drink gin til my chin's full of
splashed whiskers {*whoosh*}
Hash whiskey and ash til
I slap bitches {*smack*}
Ask Bizzy, he's been
here the past six years
Mash with me
you'll get in imagine this

Chorus 2X

[Bizarre]
I fucked my cousin in his asshole,
slit my mother's throat
{*AHHHHHHHH!*}
Guess who Slim Shady
just signed to Interscope
My little sister's birthday,
she'll remember me
For a gift I had ten of
my boys take her virginity
{*Mmm mm mmm!*}
And bitches know me as
a horny ass freak
Their mother wasn't raped,
I ate her pussy while she was 'sleep
Pissy-drunk, throwin up in the urinal
(YOU FUCKIN HOMO!)
That's what I said at my dad's funeral

Chorus 2X

[Eminem]
That's why the city is filled with
a bunch of fuckin idiots still (still)
That's why the first motherfucker
poppin some shit he gets killed (killed)
That's why we don't call it Detroit,
we call it Amityville ('Ville)
You can get capped after
just havin a cavity filled (filled)
Ahahahaha, that's why we're crowned
the murder capital still (still)
This ain't Detroit,
this is motherfuckin Hamburger Hill! (Hill!)
We don't do drivebys,
we park in front of houses and shoot
and when the police come
we fuckin shoot it out with them too!
That's the mentality here (here)
that's the reality here (here)
Did I just hear somebody say
they wanna challenge me here?? (huh?)
While I'm holdin a pistol with
this many calibres here?? (here??)
Got some registration and just made
this shit valid this year? (year?)
Cause once I snap I can't be held
accountable for my acts
and that's when accidents happen,
when a thousand bullets
come at your house
and collapse the foundation around
and they found you and your family in it
(AHHHHH!)
GOT DAMNIT,
ADMIT IT WHEN HE TELLS YOU

Chorus 2X

Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da
Dum, tahh-dum.. ta-dah-da

Dum..

Bitch Please II
-
-
-
[Dre]
Yeah whattup Detroit?

[Snoop]
Nu-uh, nu-uh nuh-no he didn't!
Ahhh! They didn't do it again,
what-what, what-what?
Did you shit on these niggaz two times Dr. Dre?

[Dre]
Oh fo' sho'!

[Snoop]
Uh-uh, naw, ya smell that?
This is special right here
What-what, what-what-what?
Yeah, it's a toast to the boogie baby
Uhh, to the boogie-oogie-oogie
Yeah, y'know! What's crackin Dre?

[Dr. Dre]
Just let me lay back and kick
some mo' simplistic pimp shit
on Slim's shit and start riots
like Limp Bizkit (Limp Bizkit)
Throw on 'Guilty Conscience' at concerts
and watch mosh pits til motherfuckers
knock each other unconcious
(Watch out now!)
Some of these crowds that Slim draws
is rowdy as Crenshaw Boulevard
when it's packed and fulla cars
Some of these crowds me and
Snoop draw +IS+ niggaz from Crenshaw
from Long Beach to South Central
{*LOUD SCREAM*}
Whoa, not these niggaz again
These grown-ass ignorant men
with hair-triggers again
(Hehe) You and what army could harm me?
D-R-E and Shady,
with Doggy from Long Beach
(East-syde!) Came a long way,
to makin these songs play
It'll be a wrong move,
to stare at me the wrong way
I got a long uz',
and I carry it all day
(Blaow!) Sometimes it's like
a nightmare, just bein Andre,
but I..

[Snoop Dogg]
somehow, someway - tell 'em, nigga
You know about Dogg-ay (Snoop Dogg)
Now let me cut these niggaz up
and show em where da fuck I'm comin from
I get the party crackin from
the shit that I be spittin son
Hit-and-run, get it done,
get the funds, split and run
Got about fifty gungs, and I love
all of 'em the same - bang bang!
Damn baby girl what's your name?
I forgot - what'd you say it was?
Damn a nigga buzzed
Hangin in the club, with my nephew Eminem
(Whassup Slim?) Whattup cuz? (Whattup Snoop?)
The Great White American Hope,
done hooked up with the King
of the motherfuckin West coast, bay-bayy!

[Chorus: Nate Dogg + Snoop]
And you don't really wanna fuck, with me
Only nigga that I trust, is me
Fuck around and make me bust, this heat
[Snoop] That's, the devil, they always wanna dance

[Xzibit]
I'm the Head Nigga In Charge,
I'm watchin you move
You're found dead in your garage,
with ten o'clock news coverage
Gotta love it, cause I expose the facade
Your little lungs is too small to hotbox with God
All jokes aside, come bounce with us
Standin over you with
a twelve gauge, about to bust
It's like ashes to ashes and dust to dust
I might leave in the bodybag,
but never in cuffs
So who do you trust?
They just not rugged enough
When things get rough
I'm in the club shootin with Puff
Bitch, please - you must
have a mental disease
Assume the position and
get back down on your knees - c'mon

Chorus 2X

[Eminem - impersonating Snoop]
Awww naww, big Slim Dogg
Eighty pound balls, dick six inch long
Back up, in the, heezy BAY-BAY
He's Sha-day!

[Snoop]
He's so cra-zay!

[Eminem]
Hahaha! Gimme the mic,
let me recite, 'til
Timothy White pickets
outside the Interscope
offices every night
What if he's right?
I'm just a criminal, makin a living
off of the world's misery -
what in the world gives me the right
to say what I like, and walk
around flippin the bird
Livin the urban life,
like a white kid from the 'burbs
Dreamin at night of screamin at mom,
schemin to leave
Run away from home and
grow to be as evil as me
I just want you all
to notice me and people to see
that somewhere deep down,
there's a decent human being in me
It just can't be found,
so the reason you've been seeing this me
is cause this is me now,
the recent dude who's being this mean
So when you see me,
dressin up like a nerd on TV
or heard the CD usin the
fag word so freely
it's just me being me,
here want me to tone it down?
Suck my fuckin dick, you faggot
You happy now? Look here

[Eminem - impersonating Snoop]
I start some trouble everywhere
that I go (that I go)
Ask the bouncers in the club cause
they know (cause they know)
I start some shit they throw me out
the back do' (the back do')
Come back and shoot the club up
with a fo'-fo' (a fo'-fo')

Chorus 2X

[Xzibit]
2001 and forever
Slim Shady, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg,
X to the Z, Nate Dogg

C'mon, yeah!!

Kim
.
-

Aww look at daddy's baby girl
That's daddy baby
Little sleepy head
Yesterday I changed your diaper
Wiped you and powdered you.
How did you get so big?
Can't believe it now your two
Baby you're so precious
Daddy's so proud of you

Sit down bitch!
If you move again I'll beat
the shit out of you !

(Eminem as Kim)
Don't make me wake this baby
She don't need to see what I'm about to do
Quit crying bitch, why do you
always make me shout at you?
How could you?
Just leave me and love him out the blue
Oh, what's a matter Kim?
Am I too loud for you?
Too bad bitch, your gonna
finally hear me out this time
At first I'm like all right
You wanna throw me out? That's fine!
But not for him to take my place,
are you out you're mind?
This couch, this TV,
this whole house is mine!
How could you let him sleep in our bed?
Look at Kim
Look at your husband now!
(No!)
I said look at him!
He ain't so hot now is he?
Little punk!
(Why are you doing this?)
Shut the fuck up!
(You're drunk! You're never going to get away at this!)
You think I give a fuck!
Come on we're going for a ride bitch
(No!)
Sit up front
(Well I can't just leave Haley alone,
what if she wakes up?)
We'll be right back
Well I will.. you'll be in the trunk

(Chorus)

So long, bitch you did me so wrong
I don't wanna go on
Living in this world without you

You really fucked me Kim
You really did a number on me
Never knew me cheating on you
would come back to haunt me
But we was kids then Kim,
I was only 18
That was years ago
I thought we wiped the slate clean
That's fucked up!
(I love you!)
Oh God my brain is racing
(I love you!)
What are you doing?
Change the station I hate this song!
Does this look like a big joke?
(No!)
There's a four year old boy lyin'
dead with a slit throat
In your living room, ha-ha
What you think I'm kiddin' you?
You loved him didn't you?
(No!)
Bullshit you bitch don't fucking lie to me
What the fuck's this guy's
problem on the side of me?
Fuck you asshole, yeah bite me
Kim, KIM!
Why don't you like me?
You think I'm ugly don't you?
(It's not that!)
No you think I'm ugly
(Baby)
Get the fuck away from me, don't touch me
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I SWEAR TO GOD I HATE YOU
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU
How the fuck could you do this to me?
(Sorry!)
How the fuck could you do this to me?

(Chorus)

Come on get out
(I can't I'm scared)
I said get out bitch!
(Let go of my hair,
please don't do this baby)
(Please I love you, look we can
just take Haley and leave)
Fuck you, you did this to us
You did it, it's your fault
Oh my God I'm crackin' up
Get a grip Marshall
Hey remember the time we
went to Brian's party?
And you were like so drunk that
you threw up all over Archie
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
That was funny wasn't it?
(Yes!)
See it all makes sense, doesn't it?
You and your husband have a fight
One of you tries to grab a knife
And during the struggle he accidentally
gets his Adam's apple sliced
(No!)
And while this is goin' on
His son just woke up and he just walks in
She panics and she gets her throat cut
(Oh my God!)
So now they both dead and you slash your own throat
So now it's double homicide and suicide with no note
I should have known better when you started to act weird
We could've...HEY! Where you going? Get back here!
You can't run from me Kim
It's just us, nobody else!
You're only making this harder on yourself
Ha! Ha! Got'cha!
(Ahh!)
Ha! Go ahead yell!
Here I'll scream with you!
AH SOMEBODY HELP!
Don't you get it bitch,
no one can hear you?
Now shut the fuck up and get what's comin to you
You were supposed to love me!
NOW BLEED! BITCH BLEED!
BLEED! BITCH BLEED! BLEED!

(Chorus)

Under The Influence

[Eminem]
*talkin' gibberish*
Translation
So you can suck my dick
if you don't like my shit
Cuz I was high when
I wrote this, so suck my dick

Two pills I pop 'til my pupils
swell up like 2 pennies
I'm Clint Eastwood in his mid-twenties
A young ass man with a trash can
strapped to the back of his ass
So the rats can't chew through his last pants
I'm like a mummy at night, fightin' with bright lightning
Frightened with 5 little white Vicadin pills bitin' him
I'm like a fuckin' wasp in the hospital lost
Stingin' the fuck outta everything
I come across in the halls
I light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife at the blade and
stab you with the fuckin' handle
So when you find yourself
wrapped up in the blinds, hurtin'
[Swifty] It's just too late
[Eminem] Cuz once you're hung
from the drapes, it's curtains

[Swifty McBay]
I'm an instigator, 380 slug penetrator
Degrading, creating murders to kill haters
Accused for every crime known thru the equator
They knew I did it, for havin' blood on my gators
My weed'll hit your chest like a double barrel gauge
I'm a black grenade that'll blow up in your face
Wit a fifth in me, when I guzzle Remi,
I do shit on purpose
You never hear me say "forgive me"
I'm snatchin' every penny
It gotta be that way nigga, face it
That weed I sold to you brigade laced it
You high and I make the president get a face lift
Niggas just afraid, handin' me they bracelets
Chillin' in the lab, wasted
I'm the type that'll drink Kahlua and gin
- throw up on the mic
Your life is ruined, you
get socked right on site
And even at the Million Man March,
we gon' fight

1 - [Eminem]
    Son, you can suck my dick
if you don't like my shit
    Cuz I was high when I wrote
this, so suck my dick
    Cuz I don't give a fuck
if you don't like my shit
    Cuz I was high when I wrote
this, so suck my dick

[Bizarre]
I'm a compulsive liar, set my preacher on fire
Slash your tires, flyin' down Fenkel and Meyers
Plates expired, soon as I'm hired, I'm fired
Jackin' my dick off in the bed of barb wire
(Hey, is Bizarre performing?)
Bitch, can't you read the flyer?
Special invited guest would be Richard Pryor
(Aren't you a male dancer?)
Nah bitch, I'm retired
Fuckin' your bitch in the ass with a tire iron
I'm ripped, I'm on an acid trip
My DJ's in a coma for lettin' the record skip
Lettin' the record skip
Lettin' the record skip
(Damn!)
*DJ scratches*
I'm fuckin' anything when I'm snortin'
It's gonna cost 300 dollars
to get my Pit Bull an abortion
Some bitch asked for my autograph
I called her a whore, spit beer
in her face and laughed
I drop bombs like I was in Vietnam
All bitches is hoes, even my stinkin' ass mom

[Kuniva]
Ay-yo flashback, 2 seats,
2deep up in that ass crack
Weed laced with somethin', nigga pass that
In Amsterdam we only hang out with hash rats
At a 'Stop the Violence' rally, I blast gats
Be your momma publishin', get your ass capped
The Kuniva, divide up your cash stack
Raid your motherfuckin' pockets, ASAP
I don't need a platinum chain bitch, I snatch Shaq's
Born loser, half theif and half black
Bring your boys and your guns and get laughed at
Bitch smacker, rich rappers get their Jag jacked
And found chopped up in a trash bag

[Dirty Harry]
Stranglin' rappers to the point they can't yell
Cuz they crew is full of fags
and sweeter than bake sales
Reckless, come from behind
and snatch your necklace
Gruesome, and causin' more
violence than 9 hoodlums
I grapple your adam's apple until it crackle
Run right past you, turn around,
grab you and stab you
Get executed, cuz I'm a looney
I got a yuck mouth and it's polluted
I cock it back then shoot it
I love snatchin' up playas,
thugs and young ballas
Shoot up the household,
even the young toddlers
Brigades barricade to bring the noise
While the bullets break your
bones up like Christmas Toys
If I go solo, I'm doin' a song with Polo
A big Chinese nigga, screamin' ? yo yo
I leave ya face leakin'
Run up in church and smack
the preacher while he's preachin'
Take a swing at the deacon

[The Kon Artis]
I used to tell cats I sold
weed and weight
I was straight until I got
caught sellin' em shaped
I'm ignorant, with the intent
to snatch your rent
I got kicked out of summer camp
for havin' sex in my tent
With the superintendent's daughter,
my brain's out of order
I've been a con artist since
I was swimmin' in water
In cahoots with this nigga named Fall Out Von
Who got fired from UPS for tryin'
to send you a bomb (special delivery)
I signed to a local label for fun
Say I got cancer, get dropped,
take the advancement and run
Ride by you in the rain while you carry your son
Call your house and hang up on you for not givin' me none
Born straight up out a pussy but a son of a gun
Got a reputation for havin' niggas run up they funds
Used to be the type of nigga that was full of someone's
'Til I met your fat mama, now I'm rollin' in dough

Repeat 1

[Eminem - Outro]
Suck my motherfuckin' dick
D-12
Dirty motherfuckin' Dozen
Nasty like a stank slut bitch
with 30 fuckin' husbands
Bizarre kid
Swifty McBay
The Kon Artis
The Kuniva
Dirty Harry

Haha, and Slim Shady

Criminal

A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records
or what I talk about on a record,
that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..
I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, shit.. if you believe that
then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a

CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL
(You god damn right)
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL

My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my motherfuckin balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A Fuck," still won't leave

Chorus (x2)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you supposed
to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with
an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and
spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

(Interlude)
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there!
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
     (whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
         and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
         Hurry the fuck up! *BOOM* Thank you!

Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it
So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, bitches, bastards, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his ass yet
If I ever gave a fuck, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You motherfuckin chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so this tape is shut
Shit, half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as
I'ma be a fuckin rapist in a Jason mask

(Chorus x2)