Why do I put myself through such hell? I've been responding to e-mails sent from "He Who Should Not Be Named" and the more I deal with him, the more upset I get. You may wonder why I deal with him at all. I mean, I could easily tell him to get lost or just not answer him. I just want to know what the heck he wants from me. Call it stupidity or morbid curiousity, but I wanna know. It's like a train wreck. You drive by and you know it's bad and you should thank god that you don't HAVE to get involved, but you feel the need to at least slow down and check it out. I really don't want anything to do with him and I swear if he just told me what he wanted I'd leave the whole thing alone. Killian seems amused by the whole situation which is better than him being mad at me or out to kill the ho ho boy. Then again, I kinda like the whole neandrathal thing where a man feels he needs to protect his "territory" and fight for his woman. I know I'm gonna end up getting burned on this one, but I just hope there's enough remains to glue myself back together.


posted by talia rowan at 10:15 PM comment


  

Today was my first teacher in-service and boy did it make my brain hurt! There was so much information to absorb that I just wanted to scream. My little pen was taking notes so fast that it was smoking. I have another in-service thingy tomorrow then two days of kindergarten parent orientation and finally on Friday I get to meet my kids. I'm gonna have 28 kids in the morning and another 28 in the afternoon. Do I look like I will be able to remember 56 names? I'm lucky I can remember my own for heaven sake. I'm looking forward to this whole student teaching thing but I know it's going to be one giant headache. At least I have Killian to keep me sane and happy!


posted by talia rowan at 7:25 PM comment


  

Back from the Dead

So as I was checking my e-mail this evening I was shocked to find a message from "He Who Should Not Be Named". It's been months since I've heard anything from him and I was thinking he was gone forever but nay, he's back and he wants to talk. Now my question is, What the hell does he want to talk to me about and why the hell does he think I want to talk to him at all? I must admit, I am curious about this sudden need to talk to me but I know I really need to be careful in dealing with this. I already know I'm NOT going to meet him face to face unless I'm with someone else. Clio said that she'd go with me if I ever HAD to go see him. Since nothing would make me go see him I think I'm fairly safe. Anywho, this whole issue is making me nervous so I'm going to go read or something calming right now. Later Gators.


posted by talia rowan at 12:10 AM comment


  

Spent the day with Killian and C.J. and made nice with the kitty. Still crabby with Killian about his whole decision making process but like everything else, I'll eventually get over it. I finally got information about the vacation I will be taking (crossing my fingers) next summer. It's a seven day cruise with three stops. Everything sounds good, just gotta run it by the parental units and see what they think. I would do just about anything to get the hell out of this one horse town and see some of the world. Yeah, I need to go to bed now. Later all.


posted by talia rowan at 11:53 PM comment


  

Like I need more DRAMA

I'm all crabby with Killian about his desire for a cat. He said he wanted to get a cat and he wanted me to go with him to make sure that the cat and I got along cuz I visit a lot and it would just be bad if the cat and I didn't like eachother. I kinda felt honored that he actually valued my opinion and wanted me to be there when he made such a big decision. Then he tells me that he's been to the local animal shelters and he found a cat that he kinda likes. He still wanted me to go with him to "check it out". I was a little down that he was looking for a cat after he said he wanted me to go with him to do it but he said he still wanted me to go tomorrow morning. Then today he said that he was going to get the cat without me. I wasn't really upset about this, but I was hurt. The whole thing just screamed "talia's opinion doesn't count anymore and I'm gonna do whatever the hell I want". It just made me feel so unimportant and little that I wanted to scream and cry at the same time. The issue obviously isn't the cat itself, but rather the fact that he wanted my opinion and then he decided he really didn't care what I thought and did what he wanted. I'm so hurt and aggrivated I wanna beat someone or something with a really big stick.


posted by talia rowan at 10:17 PM comment


  

And A Scream Shattered The Silence

Yeah, that about sums up my evening. It was good... really good.


posted by talia rowan at 10:54 PM comment


  

Long Time No Post

It's been a while since I've posted, but this happens when one has an actual life that they're living you know. Anywho... This past weekend was really fun for me. I spent lots and lots and lots of quality time with Killian which I know I really needed. Again we're back to that needy thing. We went to the county fair on Friday night and Killian won me a stuffed animal (pause for an awe here). Saturday night we went to the first Browns pre-season game and had awesome seats. It was my first time in the new stadium and I felt like I was in a giant pumpkin-everything was orange. That and everything was so freakin' expensive! It was $6 for a beer and $6 for nachos (they came in a cute dawg dish though so we had to get 'em). On Sunday we spent the day with Killian's parents which was nice. Killian worked with his father on a shed and his mother and I went shopping and prepared dinner for the family. I just felt so domestic.
So this is my last week of work then I get a week off to do nothing, then I start student teaching. I can honestly say that I am neither excited or nervous. I look at it as just one more hoop to jump through before I graduate.
I'm feeling kinda like a show pony or something. Oh well. Later all.


posted by talia rowan at 12:23 AM comment


  

As a child I had my whole life planned out right down to what age I'd be when I did what. At this point in my life I should have my college degree, a nice teaching job in the suburbs, and I should be living in an apartment with my husband. Obviously in the grand scheme of life I was not consulted and things just went along as someone else planned. Taking a serious look at things makes me realize that I'm not so bad off. Ok, so it would have been nice to have my degree and a real job by now. If I had a husband now that would mean I would have married "he who should not be named" and I would have been miserable. Killian and I found eachother again and I couldn't be happier. I'm also kinda glad I don't have an apartment because anyone who has met me knows that I couldn't possibly live alone. I mean, who the hell would I talk to? Killian listens to me all the time and I believe that if we were living together he would have to seriously invest in ear plugs or something. I'm sure he's happy he has his alone time to stop his ears from ringing after a visit with me. So to make a long story short, I realize that as a child I was just freaking stupid. I had no clue what I really wanted or what was really important. There was no way to know what would make me truly happy. Now I know.


posted by talia rowan at 11:07 PM comment


  

A Ring Isn't Just A Circle

*I have two issues of interest (ok, interest to me) that I feel the need to discuss. First, I can't wear the ring that Killian gave me anymore because the plating is coming off which makes it sharp cutting my finger. Today I wore the ring on a chain around my neck but I can't do that everyday cuz the babies at work would rip it off my neck. When I realized that the ring was the reason my finger hurt like a bastard and I couldn't wear it anymore I cried. Now, don't go thinking that this ring is a diamond or anything, but it's really special to me and I'm really really upset about it. Well, since I can't wear it I'm going to have to put it in the drawer with all of the other things I've collected.
*Point number two: I've actually started working out and it just feels good. This past Tuesday was water aerobics and today was regular aerobics and toning. I was sweating like a pig and I enjoyed it. I'm hoping that this whole working out thing will help stack the chips in my favor in the battle of the bulge. Or in my case the battle of the many large bulges located everywhere.
*I'm off to shower and be all clean and stink free. Goodnight all.


posted by talia rowan at 9:20 PM comment