Crackers are a Girl's Best Friend?

So I'm pms-ing and I'm pigging out on reduced fat Triscuit crackers. Normal women have dates with Ben&Jerry or anything from the Hershey chocolate company, but NOOOOO Talia needs to lose weight so she can be even cuter than she is (yeah, like that's possible). I'm so sick of this dieting thing. Why couldn't weighloss be easy? If it was everyone would be doing it and that would be cool. Ok, now I'm depressed so I'm gonna go to bed.


posted by talia rowan at 11:06 PM comment


  

.Sorry I haven't written in a while, but I've been busy and that makes me happy. I love always having something to do or somewhere to go. I will never be a 'stay at home mom' ever. If I do decide to not work when I have kids (far off future) I'm still not going to stay home. There are so many neat things people can do in the world and usually they choose to sit home on their butts and watch the idiot box or something. I would much rather go to the park or library, walk around the mall, go visit friends or even go to a museum. Hell, how can you expect to learn anything when you trap yourself within the same four walls everyday?
.Killian and I went down to BFO yesterday for technically a cheezy reason, but it turned out to be really fun. We spent the whole day together in Amish country shopping and eating and I must say I learned a lot about him. We went to a furniture store and I basically found a bedroom, kitchen and diningroom that I wanted but there were only two major problems. First of all, I don't have the money for any of it and second, I don't have a freakin' house to put it in! Well, my imaginary house is all taken care of. Also saw a beautiful baby crib with sleigh style head and foot 'board' for only $800. This brings us back to several facts... They were already mentioned- lack of money and a house, and children are far FAR (did I say far?) into the future.
.Ok, now I'm depressed. Things that I want are so far down the road that I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Going to curl up into a ball and watch some tv now until I get less depressed. Later.


posted by talia rowan at 10:44 AM comment


  

Yeah, It's Kinda Like That

Did you ever notice that when you're going through something- no mater what it is, ther is always someone who says that they went through the same thing and they know EXACTALY what you're going through. It could be anything from a divorce to a death in the family, from a simple illness to rabies. It doesn't mater but the other person always had it worse than you and they think they know what's going on and how you feel but there is no way they could know unless they were you but if they were you then you wouldn't be you and that would just be confusing for me. As I was saying, I'm dealing with some stuff now and there's this woman who has a situation NOTHING like mine and she's trying to tell me what to do. I keep trying to tell her that our situations are totally different and there is no way that I'm going to do what she is doing in her situation. I'm not sure if she's just trying to be helpful or if she just likes talking about herself. This kinda reminds me of a funeral when someone you love passes on and people say "I know how you feel." No dammit! You couldn't possibly know how I feel. That is unless you were me which you couldn't be cuz I'm me and you're you. Now I'm confused.


posted by talia rowan at 11:29 PM comment


  

Had a dream last night that Satan (not THE Satan but MY Satan) moved up here to be closer to me and he wanted us to start dating. Mind you he said this in front of Killian and the two of them had a knock down drag out fight about it. I just stood there watching because I didn't know what else to do. I didn't want either one of them to get hurt, but I got some strange satisfaction out of watching them fight over me. I'm thinking this goes along with the whole "center of attention" thing. I don't remember who won, but I do recall that it was a really nasty fight and I was not happy with the outcome. Lately it's hard to be the center of attention when I've been pushed slightly left of center. Where is that damn spotlight?


posted by talia rowan at 11:31 PM comment


  

I finally came to the realization that I am a very demanding person. Maybe demanding isn't the right word but I'm not sure what is. It's just that I expect certain things and when I don't get them I just get cranky. I think my biggest problem is my need to be the center of attention all the time. It's like an addiction or something and I'm an attention junkie. I realize some people find it annoying, but it's an illness I swear. Maybe I should just check it to attention rehab. "Hello, my name is Talia and I'm an attention junkie."


posted by talia rowan at 9:53 AM comment


  

Please let me be.
Please go away.
I am NOT going to get up today!
~I Am NOT Going to Get Up Today! Dr. Seuss.

Ok, so technically I got up today but I shouldn't have. I'm one of those people who get their hopes up about things and then when they don't happen I get depressed. Here's an example: I ordered strawberries and apples on my waffels this morning because I had such a taste for the two. My plate comes and there are no strawberries. I didn't freak out or anything but I was kind of disappointed. I had my mind and my tastebuds set on something and then it wasn't there. There were other disappointments today that were much bigger than the strawberry waffle incident so you can say that the day just kinda went downhill from the beginning. I try not to get my hopes up so I won't be disappointed, but it's just so freaking hard not to give yourself something to look forward to. It's a real conundrum.


posted by talia rowan at 11:21 PM comment

  

Don't Give Up The Ship

Went to see the Tall Ships in Cleveland today and I was amazed at how cool they are. I've never seen anything like them before in my life. I'm not a big history buff or anything but I couldn't help thinking 'People actually traveled on these ships once upon and battles were faught on these vessels.' I was just in awe. Then Killian and I had dinner with his folks. I just love them so. His mother made pina coladas and almost got me drunk off my arse. The woman put WAY too much rum in with the mix and I almost passed out from the smell. Despite the immense amount of alcohol, the taste was good and the swimming brain in my head was well worth the stinky rum smell.
.Well gang, I'm off to do more of Killian's laundry. Later.


posted by talia rowan at 12:23 AM comment


  

For some reason I feel like I'm in a rut. Things with the family, friends, and job are good and Killian is always good, but I keep thinking that I'm not going anywhere in my life. This is where the question of "where the hell do I want to go with my life?" arises. I wish I knew the answer to that one. My friend Satan says that if there's something you don't like about your life you should change it. Well, there is nothing really wrong with my life so I don't know what I would change. I'm one of those people who thrive under pressure and I like controlled chaos. Maybe things are just too controlled for me and that's why I'm restless. I just hope that in my quest for something to "shake things up a little" I don't screw things up or push away the people I care about.
Enough rambling for one night. Later gators.


posted by talia rowan at 11:02 PM comment


  

~I was watching the tv show 'Dateline' and getting outraged more by the minute. It focused on this girl who at 15 got pregnant by her older boyfriend. She hid the pregnancy from her parents and everyone in her small town. She gave birth in secret, wrapped her daughter up in a towel and put her on the neighbor's door step. The baby died and the police had no clues . The stupid chick never told anyone what happened for over a year. She got found out and was sentenced to 4 years in prison.

~I don't understand how this whole thing could have happened. Is the youth of today going to hell in a handbasket? People make mistakes in life but they need to take some Responsibility for their actions. I know if I ever got pregnant I would have to be Adult enough to face reality and do something about it. On the other hand, if I got pregnant I would have some serious explaining to do to Killian (never fear my love, it's all good).


posted by talia rowan at 11:21 PM comment

  

To be a child again

. As a child life is simple and everyone loves you. The world revolves around you every moment of the day and people stop in their tracks to see what you're going to do next. Let's face it, everything a kid does or says is cute. That wide-eyed look and goofy grin gets a kid anywhere.
Adults are not nearly as cute and as I know well, people don't always love them. People don't drop what they're doing to see what I'm going to do, as a matter of fact, very few people even care what I do. Besides my family and a few people I love, the fact that I breathe has very little effect on the world. I, like many people have to fight to gain attention, acceptance, and even love from people. Everyone realizes how precious and beautiful a child is, but when is the last time you noticed how wonderful an adult is?


posted by talia rowan at 9:03 PM comment


  

Hey Jealousy

Some people get jealous when they see the one they love flirt with another, other people go nuts when they see an unknown number on the caller id or a pager, then there's me. I see a picture and fly into a personal mental rage. How could an in-animate object drive me nuts? Did I mention it was a picture of a someone's ex? I must say that I have kept myself in check and said nothing. I realize that the relationship is over and I'm the new girlfriend, but the fact that the picture is still around and hasn't been either hidden away or destroyed still hurts. See, as a woman, I look at the situation as him trying to hang on to her and a bit of the relationship (logically I know it's not true). A man would look at this and say "Hey, the dude just hasn't thrown it away yet so get over yourself."
I know the past is the past and I'm in the present so I'm just going to have to move on and I will. It still hurts though.


posted by talia rowan at 6:59 PM comment


  

Here in the Real World

I was watching Mtv's "The Real World" and I was amazed that Mike (from Parma Ohio) insulted the 3 black people in the house within the first 30 minutes of the show. People from Parma are not generally that stupid. It just drives me nuts when he says that things are a certain "way" where he's from. Well, maybe in his house or neighborhood it is, but all of Parma and northeast Ohio is not a bunch of uneducated racists.
It scares me to think that people are so sheltered from other cutures that they insult others and generally make an ass out of themselves the first time they're placed in a room with anyone different from themselves. I know I'm not at fault, but I feel like I should appologize to the world for this guy's stupidity. So here goes: I, talia rowan, appologize to everyone in the world who has been discriminated against for any reason.

posted by talia rowan at 12:23 AM comment

  

So I came to the conclusion today that my life isn't real. Obviously I'm real but I don't think my life is. People with real lives have real issues and problems that they face on a daily basis like a job, paying bills, changing the oil in their car, and maintaining a home. I on the other hand live with my parents who take care of just about everything including my car lease and insurance, they pay for college, and obviously room and board are taken care of. The job I have is crappy and is just for pocket money and I have to quit next month. My friends have real lives. They have diplomas, jobs, apartments, husbands, and even kids. I have NOTHING!!! I am so freakin' pathetic!!!!!
It seems that the life I have going on now is my "practice life" to get me prepared for reality. When do the training wheels come off and life begin?


posted by talia rowan at 7:29 PM comment


  

Hi this is just Kerowyn playing around with Talia's blog so it will work. :o)


posted by talia rowan at 1:22 AM comment