Dear Catherine,

I'm sorry I haven't talked to you in so long, I feel like I've been lost, no bearings, no compass. I kept crashing into things, a little crazy, I guess. I've never been lost before.

You were my true north. I could always steer for home when you were my home.

Forgive me for being so angry when you left. I still think some mistake's been made and I'm waiting for God to take it back. But I'm doing better now. The work helps me.

Most of all, you help me. You came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always help me like a lover, rocked me like a child. All I remember from the dream is a feeling of peace.

I woke up with that feeling and try to keep it alive as long as I could. I'm writing to tell you that I'm on the journey toward that peace and to tell you I'm sorry about so many things.

I'm sorry I didn't take better care of you so that you'd never spent one minute being cold, or scared, or sick. I'm sorry I didn't try harder to find the words to tell you what I was feeling. I'm sorry I didn't apologize more. I was too proud. I'm sorry I didn't bring you more compliments. I never think you were and every way you fix your hair. I'm sorry I didn't hold on you so much strength that even God could pull you away.

Signed all my love,

G