And the more the Girl thought of this damn Drunkenfest sing,
the more the Girl thought,
"I must stop the whole thing!
Why for two seasons in a row, I've put up with it now.
I MUST stop Springfest from coming,
but HOW?
Then she got an idea!
An awesome idea!
The Girl got a wonderful, AWESOME idea!
'I know just what to do!" The Girl laughed in her throat.
And she made a quick policeman hat and a coat.
Then she chuckled and clucked, "What a fabulous plot,
with this coat and this hat, I'll look just like a cop.
All I need is a sidekick..." The Girl looked around,
but, since minions are scarce, there were none to be found.
But did that stop the young girl? No! The Girl simply said,
“1f 1 can't find a sidekick, I'll MAKE ONE instead!”
So she called to her roommate, and she picked up some thread,
and she tied a police cap to the top of her head.
THEN, they loaded some bags, some in each hand;
ready to go, the girl looked at her friend.
Then the Girl said, "Let’s Move!" and the two started down
toward the Student Center, while the kids lay a-snooze in their town.
All the windows were dark, no hip-hop filled the air,
all the kids were all dreaming sweet dreams without care,
when she came to the building in the center of the square.
"This is stop number one!" the two sober girls hissed
and they climbed to the roof, empty bags in their fists.
They snuck into the building, humming "Mission Impossible,"
they prayed to get through this with no trips to the hospital.
They were delayed only once, for a moment or two,
because the sidekick, as always, had to re-tie her shoe
The CDs and speakers were all stacked in a row
"This music," they swore, "is the first thing to go!”
Then they slithered and slunk, past every speaker and song,
around the whole building, till the bad music was gone!
Rap music, Pop music, Disco alike!
They took it all, speakers and mics!
Then they stuffed them in bags, and the Girl, quite content,
flung all the bags down, off the roof they all went.
Then they slunk to the food stash, they took the whole supply!
They took the bread for the sandwiches, white, wheat and rye!
They cleaned out the food stash as quick as a flash.
Why, those Girls even took the last of the 'special' brownie hash.
Then they tossed all the food up to the roof with great pleasure.
'This is great!" said the Girls, "What could be better?"
And the girls gathered their stuff, preparing to run,
when they heard a small sound, a mumbling hum
They turned around fast, and saw a drunk human,
plastered enough not to know WHAT they was doing
He staggered on by, the confused young drunkard,
mumbling as he passed, "That cop looks like my uncle!"
The Girls could have been caught by this drunk one, who surely
had stayed awake all night, to begin Drunkfest early.
He stared at the girls and slurred out,
"Hey chicks, where,
where can I get me some more alcohol,
WHERE?!"
But you know, those two Girls were so smart and so slick
they thought up a lie, and they thought it up quick!
"Why right over here," the fake policewomen stalled,
'There's a room full of drinks, right down this hall.
We'll show you the way, don't you worry a bit,
follow us please, we promise, you'll find it,"
So they led the drunk to a supply-storage closet,
and un-slid the bolt, so as to unlock it;
They locked the drunk in the closet with care,
then the Girls got their loot and got the hell out of there!
It was a quarter past dawn… all the kids still asleep,
all the kids still a-snooze
when the Girls left with the booze.
Left with.al1 of their music! Their cigarettes! Their precious beverages! Their junk food and their fake IDs!
Those girls took everything!
They ran back to Hillside, to hide and to hover,
hoping the drunk kid would not blow their cover.
"Haha to the drunks!" They were happily humming,
"They're finding out now that NO Springfest is coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
then those drunks at the Student Center will all cry, 'Boo-Hoo!'"
"That's a noise," said the Girls, "that we simply MUST hear!"
So they paused, and the Girls put a hand to one ear.
And they did hear a noise rising out of the night.
"But wait," they both said, "This can't be right!"
This sound wasn't sad, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
They stared at the Student Center, not believing their eyes,
what they saw, what they heard, was a shocking surprise!
Every kid down in Drunkville, the tall and the small,
was singing, without any stereos at all!
They HADN'T stopped Springfest from coming!
IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same.
And the Girls, with their hearts feeling broken and low,
stood puzzling and puzzling, "How could it be so?
It came without music! It came without food!
Everyone's still in a drunken, festive mood!
They puzzled awhile, then wiped dry their tears,
"Those drunks haven't won yet, there's always next year!"
With Great Thanks to Dr. Seuss