I don't know how to start my first blog entry so, I might as well jump into who and what I am.

I guess if I were to sum everything about me my life and history I would come up with very little. I am not someone that jumps out or is very out-going. I would say I am a loner someone that doesn't have very many friends or cares about it.

Right now, I guess I feel my life is turbulent. I feel like I have to parts of my being one that does not care and wants to destroy me. The other, on the other hand, is one that wants a future and wants the best. It seems in the last three years that the one part has been dominating me pointing me in a direction that I do not like. If I were to look back on my life of the past fews years in the future I would say that this is a time to best be forgotten. 

I would say I have an addiction, it isn't comparable to heroin or cocaine but rather, it is to caffeine.  This one substaince has dominated me the last few years and even before that. I try to escape the degrey of consumption but cannot escape. My body has already felt the effects my teeth are in very poor condition and I fear that I may be in worse condition that I know.

The other vice that has consumed me is laziness. I have scoffed at the fact for a need for work. I do not apply myself to anything and take-on frivolous pursuits. I have a hard time in the last three years remembering a single thing that has been memorable. I can't even begin to think of anything worth while of remembering since everything has been insignificent. This is not a life I wanted but it has become a downwired spiral that I have put myself into.

With all that being written, I guess I have to think what is the point of this but to dwell on the bad of the past. However, this is not the case this is more to chronicle and create an agenda for the present and future.  Right now, is not rock-bottom for me but is close enough that I want to build myself upto something.  I really want to be focused not the past but my future. I really want to not fall into bad situtations because of one decision. My agenda is simple to climb out of the hole I have created and build myself.

I want to build myself currently on my health and body. I am very bloated and overweight at the current. I do not want to continue this course and rather would like to lose enough weight to secure my health. I have taken certain steps but have not nearly taken big enough ones as of yet.  I have to focus on this goal and really that is the main point of this agenda. There are few other goals I have, however, this is the main one as the other ones do not matter until I go to college in two months. That is really my simple goal and the one I wrote this blog about. I will struggle for this but I need to conquer that in order for the things to come.