By: SYRE
Featuring M. Moore, B. Brown, J. Schryer, C. Williams,
J. Heinrich, and the Anti-FattMatt Backup Singers
[Eminem: Without Me intro]
[Intro: Matt (Steve)]
2 bacon Big Macs go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside
2 bacon Big Macs go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside
Guess who�s fat, fat, fat? Fat again, gain, gain
Matty�s fat, fat, fat Tell a friend, friend, friend
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
(Matt�s so fat)
[Nelly: Country Grammar chorus]
[Chorus: Steve]
FATT MATT!!! (FATT MATT!!!)
He�s getting� fat, fat baby
Yo� street isn�t safe no mo�
He likes Katie, she weighs 20 tons, that ho
Fatty, fatty, take a bite, look at Matty now
With his spot and skin so white, he looks like a cow
He�s getting� fat, fat baby
Yo� street isn�t safe no mo�
He likes Katie, she weighs 20 tons, that ho
Fatty, fatty, take a bite, look at Matty now
With his spot and skin so white, he looks like a cow
[Verse 1: Steve]
I�m the crowned king of the comedic rap
Matt wants to keep talkin� smack, I won�t take that crap
Keep goin� on about how he thinks I�m always lyin�
And he thinks he can rap better than me? Ha ha, keep tryin�!
Compared to him, I�m a featherweight
Few can go up against that heavy-heavy-heavyweight
But I�ve got skills, I�m a rappin� black belt
And his stench kills, ya better watch yo�self
I�m warnin� all o� y�all, best stay away
Besides for with himself, Matt don�t play
Matt�s the fattest person out there
Got more pounds than I�ve got hair
When he�s about to sit down, man, the chair gets scared!
His face looks just like crawfish gumbo
With his ears so big, dogg, he looks like Dumbo
Whenever he tries to talk to a girl, the mace is sprayed
When he walks down the street, it�s like the Macy�s parade
[Ludacris: Catch Up] When he falls down, the ground quakes, shakes and shivers
Better watch out, Matt might eat yo� liver
[Ludacris: Catch Up chorus]
[Bridge 1: Steve]
All his eatin� gon catch up
And all his pimples gon catch up
But some Dutchmen just really won�t give a buck
And some hosers just really don�t give a puck
All his humpin� gon catch up
And all his fartin� gon catch up
But some hunters just really don�t give a duck
And some porn stars just really don�t give a f**k
[Bette Midler: Wind Beneath My Wings chorus]
[Bridge 2: Steve]
Did you ever know that Matt�s a fatso?
Eats everything that he can see
Did you ever know that Matt�s a fatso?
He�s having way too much too eat
Did you ever know that Matt�s a fagot?
With homosexual tendencies
Did you ever know that Matt�s a fagot?
He needs to keep from groping me
[The Spinners: I'll Be Around chorus]
[Bridge 3: Steve]
Wherever the food�s at, he�ll be there
Wherever Katie�s at, he�ll be there
Wherever there�s earthquakes, he�ll be there
Matt�s all around
[Verse 2: Steve]
Come on, Matt, why ya gotta play that way?
Smokin� that yay? Actin� so gay? Ya think it�s okay?
Well it� ain�t! I�m here to set you straight
Wait, can you ever stop being queer?
And stop whispering nasty thoughts into James�s ear?
I don�t think so
Ya brought in to church an ugly nasty ho
Sara? Who else would it be?
She looks like a man, probably a he-she
All Matt wants is a little lovin�
He tries to get it from Katie or his nasty cousins
And they butt ugly, too, that ain�t no lie
Tim saw �em too, come on beaner, testify
Boy, you�re as big as the USS Enterprise, who drives you, Captain Cisco?
Matt, you�re so fat, your blood type is Crisco
I called your house the other day, young Grasshopper
Your dad answered and said, "Moore residence, home of the Whopper."
Matt, I swear, you�re a googolplex of pounds
You�re so fat, you�re taller lying down
You eat 20 midnight snacks before it�s eleven
On a scale of 1 to 10, you�re a 747
Saw ya downtown today, when I told my friend in Miami, he�d seen ya, too
You�re so huge, there�s a smaller fat person orbiting around you
Take off Luke�s coat, Matt, that thing�s �bout to bust
When you dress up in yellow, kids think you�re the bus
Put down that leg of lamb, you think this a joke?
You shouldn�t swallow whole pigs, you�re gonna choke
When you walk down the street, it�s like the million man march
Have fun in St. Louis? Heard ya got stuck in the Gateway Arch
You send me sub-par songs, what�s up with this?
You�re so annoying, the Swiss got pissed (buh-dum tishh)
[Juvenile: Back That Azz Up] Talkin' lots of smack yeah, ya gon' get smacked yeah
Toenail to the back yeah, ice cream vat yeah
Ya eat a chicken wing yeah, ain�t a thing yeah
You thinkin� you can sing yeah, bada bing yeah
Thinkin� that you�re funny yeah, you ain�t funny nah
Blockin� out the sunny yeah, ya weigh a tonny yeah
[Juvenile: Back that Azz Up chorus]
[Vamp: Steve]
Matt, you so fat, won�t you back that smack up
You�s a bad rappin� homo, won�t you back that smack up
Thinkin� you can rap, try to back that smack up
Matt, look who ya playin� with, back that smack up
Boy, you tubby, won�t you put the fork down
You�s a big fat hammy, won�t you put the fork down
Go eat some broccoli, won�t you put the fork down
Chub, why is you eatin� that, put the fork down
[OutKast: We Luv Deez Hoez chorus]
[Hook: Steve]
From his gut to all the chins
To rolls that hang down to the floor
Ha ha ha ha! He�s Matthew Moore
Ha ha ha ha! He's a fat boar
From his gut to all the chins
To rolls that hang down to the floor
Ha ha ha ha! He�s Matthew Moore
Ha ha ha ha! He's a fat boar
Don't lie ya love him, if ya don't you love dem rolls a whole lot
Just like a beaner's Monday breakfast, enchiritos and pot
[OutKast: So Fresh, So Clean chorus]
[Bridge 1: Steve (James)]
Ain't nobody gay as Matt, he's just so fat, so gay (So fat and so gay)
Don't you think he's really fat? He's just so fat, so gay (So fat and so gay)
Ain't nobody gay as Matt, he's just so fat, so gay (So fat and so gay)
He�d love if you feed him that, he�s just so fat, so gay (So big and so large)
[St. Lunatics: Airforce Ones chorus]
[Refrain 2: Steve (Cory)]
I said let�s all stop him
(Cause) We must stop him
So he will stop stompin� causin� seismic quakes
(Fat boy!) Stompin� causin� seismic quakes
[Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody]
[Refrain 3: Steve (Tim)]
I see a big huge silhouetto of Fatt Matt
(Beaner Brown, Beaner Brown), big huge ears just like Dumbo
Fatty�s grip tightening, very, very frightening
He�s a fagot (I�m a beaner)
He�s a fagot (I�m a beaner)
He�s a fagot, beaner boy-oy-oy-oy-oy! (Wet burrito)
[Verse 3: Matt (Steve) *James*]
I love tacos and nachos and greasy french-fries
I love cholesterol, and I love groping guys
I like to eat innocent civilians
My BP is a billion over a million
I�m the fattest person in the universe
And I can write a lame, stupid verse
Buh-dum tishh? It�s boom dum kish
I try to rap better than Steve, I wish
I�m sick of being Jessica�s broomstick
I wish James would stop poking me with his�
Hockey stick? Why won�t he just submit?
Oh, look, it�s time for my shower
Time to sit in boiling bacon grease for �bout half an hour
Mmmm� Yummy. Smells like home.
Home on Cherry, where the buffalo roam
No, not Aisha, but I do think she�s hot
I love the cuts on her arms, I love the spots!
Oh, look! Now I�ve messed up my pants
I think I need a bra for these darn implants
Come on, will someone throw me a bone
I�m not much for bathing, I prefer cologne
Why won�t these flies just leave me alone?
I don�t smell that bad, do I? (Sniff sniff) Whoo!
Looks like I�m up a paddle without a canoe
I know, I suck at making rhymes
I make a fool of myself all the time
But don�t blame me, I�ve got an exiguous cerebellum
I come up with nonsensical words like vellum
Like I write my rhymes out on animal skin
I can�t help ogling Casey, I know it�s a sin
Hey look, there goes Miss Wagner now
Wow! She's as big as a cow!
Or bigger, I'm a whigger,
My butt's more bouncy than Tigger
T, I, double guh errrr!
How come Tim's dating Katie? I'm in love with her!
Oh, no!
I thought about Katie, gotta change my clothes!
I have a fetish for big, ugly, manly hos
(Hey Matt, is that an implication of the direct correlation)
(Between big, ugly, manly, and Katie? Is that you're proclamation?)
Shut up Steve, you don't know what you're rappin' about!
(Shut up, Matt. Without my flows you'd be stuck in a drought)
Steve, you know I could rap better than you!
(You never do)
I could if I wanted to
(Says who?)
Says me, I'm the man, understand?
(No, I'm the man)
(All you is is a young Grasshopper, son)
*Steve, how long's this song, aren't you done?*
Shut up, boy, I swear he's retarded
(Don't ya know that I'm just getting started?)
[Eagles: Hotel California]
[Motif: Steve (Josh)]
Welcome to the all you can eat buffet
Ate a million plates (Ate a million plates)
Ate the whole dang place!
Matt's eatin' it up at the all you can eat buffet
What a big surprise (What a big surprise)
Ate so many pies
Welcome to the all you can eat buffet
Gravy on his face (Gravy on his face)
What a big disgrace
Plenty of food at the all you can eat buffet
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find him here
[P. Diddy: I'll Be Missin' You]
[Verse 4: Steve (Matt)]
Seems like yesterday, ever since long ago
You started small, but began to grow
So Matt, get your fat butt up off the flo'
I'm disgusted by all of yo'... fat
Fat ain't always what it seems to me (uh-uh)
Words can't explain how fat you be
Even though you're gay, you still act mean
Cuz of stupid white girls that wanna bean (that's right)
In the future, can't wait to see
If you ever get as lean as me
I was big one time, but I put that to end
Ya gotta quit fondling boys and men
Remind me, of a Catholic priest
You can't get a girl, you ugly beast
Here's a mint to cover your nasty breath (Nasty breath?)
I know you'll still be eating pork, after death
[P. Diddy: I'll Be Missin' You chorus]
[Outro: Steve]
All the food you eat, every cow you greet
Every single day, how much do you weigh?
I'll be hating you
Thinkin' of the day, that you turned so gay
Boy you reak of crap, and you cannot rap
I'll be hating you
I hate you, Matt
[P. Diddy: I'll Be Missin' You fade]
[Fade: Steve and the Anti-FattMatt Backup Singers (Matt)]
How much do you weigh? All the food you eat
Every cow you greet, every single day
How much do you weigh? All the food you eat
(Every day that passes)
Every cow you greet, every single day
(Is a day I get closer)
(To eating all my friends)
How much do you weigh? All the food you eat
(I'm eating now... and I won't stop)
Every cow you greet, every single day
(Cuz I can't stop... that's right)
How much do you weigh? All the food you eat
Every cow you greet, every single day
(I'm a fat guy)
[Music fades, cue Aisha to sing, it's over]
Portions of music taken from the following songs: Eminem: Without Me; Nelly: Country
Grammar; Ludacris: Catch Up; Bette Midler: Wind Beneath My Wings; The Spinners:
I'll Be Around; Juvenile: Back That Azz Up; OutKast: We Luv Deez Hoez; OutKast: So
Frseh, So Clean; St. Lunatics: Airforce Ones; Queen: Bohemian Rhapsody; Eagles: Hotel
California; P. Diddy: I'll Be Missin' You.
The above songs have been retitled (respectively): Big Mac Me; Funky Stammer; Catsup;
Way Too Much To Eat; Matt's All Around; Back That Smakk Up; Thay Luv Deez Rollz;
So Fat, So Gay; Seismic Quakes; Bohemian Cream Rapsongy; All You Can Eat Buffet;
I'll Be Hatin' You.
The remarks in this song are just jokes, no harm is
meant by them. Peace out, whiggaz!
