| COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU� A SHOW SO BIG, WE HAD TO SHOW IT ON 2 SCREENS MATTHEW MOORE STARS IN� FRIES vs WEDGES: THE SAGA CONTINUES THEY TOLD HIM HE'D NEVER GAIN HIS CITIZENSHIP� THEY WERE RIGHT! TIM BROWN STARS IN� BROWN MEN CAN'T DRIVE IN THEATERS EVERYWHERE! HE SAID HE'D NEVER LOOK AT ANOTHER BRITNEY SPEARS PHOTO AGAIN BUT THEN HE DID BUT HE PROMISED THAT WHAT THE LAST TIME BUT OOPS, HE DID IT AGAIN JAMES SCHRYER STARS IN� FINAL MASTURBATION 2 COMING TO AN ADULT FILM STORE NEAR YOU ALSO COMING TO THEATERS� STEVE MONROE TIM BROWN JAMES SCHRYER MATT MOORE RESURRECTION: THE CHRONICLES OF THE MOOSE And it shall come to pass, in the days of P. Diddy and 50 Cent and various other violent black men, where the Moose shall revolt, seeking to bring about the end of the human race. And unto thee that have dishonored thy sacred Moose, ye shall be thrown in a pit of burning barbecue sauce for all eternity. But man shall defend himself against thine antlered soldiers. Man shall seek a prophet, and he shall be called� SYRE Whatcha Sayin' Now? Part IV [Intro] [Announcer] Bitches and gentlemen The star of tonight's show� Syre [Syre] I'm back in the game, y'all, it feels good to be here I'm expected to be great like Matt's expected to be queer Talkin' to Christina, whatcha sayin' now? You got into some pants, all I can wonder is how But I'm not gonna dwell on Matt Cuz everyone on earth knows he's fat He's no competition He's with Crisco on a mission His arteries are clogged with white gold He puts it in tubs, over 100 billion sold Oh well, I said I wouldn't dwell What the hell is that smell? Is it a dung heap, or Matt? It's hard to tell� Every time a bell rings, Matt eats some chicken wings Ring-Dings and Ding-Dongs Matt's lose in Hong Kong Mattzilla! Mattzilla! He comes in useful at the Emmy's as a space filla Let go of my leg! It's not chicken, ya dig? Why do you eat so much You're greasy to the touch You know I hate the Dutch Geen goed and such and such What's he doin' in da keuken? Wid a ham and hooker, pro'ly neuken Or maybe he's just jerkin' Wid morning fresh scent Jergen's He's shirkin' off his work an' His appetite is perkin' He's headed to Perken's Somewhere in da fridge a turkey's lurkin' And Matty's in there smirkin' Cuz he's holdin' back a fart that could destroy the human face Man, I sure hope that that's chocolate on his face Get your BO outta my nose you fatso I don't know, why you're dating a ho And eating Ho-Hos 'til you explode With dough in your pantyhose Quid pro quo, Matty Yes or no Have you eaten your Wheaties today? Are you a fag? A homo? Are you gay? Do you have anything to say? [Mattso] I- [Syre] Time's up, fatty Put down that chicken patty Why are your clothes so ratty? Did you know that Matty's the size of Cincinnati? He's batty and he's always passing flatus What's up with that lettuce on your burger Only extra calories to make you bend a girder You chicken McNugget herder You're committing murder and double suicide Kentucky-fried And now you want extra gravy on the side? And you lied, said you were only one-sixty You've just ordered a million drumsticks, and you want 'em extra crispy? Quit lithping- you thound like a fatath Donald Duck You tell me that I'm Dutch, but I don't give a fuck You haven't made any songs, what's up? Boom dum kish man your rhymes suck! Shame! Your songs were all the same Lame, tame, plain- just like James And James annoyed me, so I just blocked her Matt, when you were born, I can imagine the doctor [Doctor] That baby's so ugly, made me wanna slap his mama. [Syre] You eat so much meat, should call you Deli Lama [Doctor] He was born with a pork sausage in his nose. [Syre] Where do ya gotta go to find some fitting clothes? [Doctor] Eight-hundred pounds, eleven ounces [Syre] You need a Bro to keep them manboobs from bouncin' [Doctor] Mrs. Moore, you've given birth to a healthy baby elephant [Syre] Whoo! That breath's kickin', maybe you should take another mint [Doctor] Hey, he just ate my sphygmomanometer! [Syre] When you enter a room, it reads on the barometer [Doctor] Oh my God, he's getting bigger! [Syre] You can use your fingers like a hole-digger [Doctor] Someboday call animal control! [Syre] Is looking stupid your only goal? I guess you'll never learn How gay ya look with them sideburns You retard, wipe off that drool You're nothing but a fool That's why you're in home school I think someone took a shit in your gene pool Your genes are size 88-30 I got too close to your clothes and now I'm dirty Don't blame me for making you look stupid Blame God for making you stupid I didn't eat that cow, you did You're hair looks like a tree that's been uprooted You fit in at Rose Park It's the last thing you fit into since Centennial Park Is that eczema or acne all over your face? Matt, you're a dumbass, I rest my case |
 |