(The Chronicles of J. Diddy)
From the hit CD �Biorick�s� by Jasmine
[Intro: Mrs. Schryer]
What went wrong?
We did everything we could
We put him to bed at 4:30
We horse whipped him when he wet the bed
I just� don�t understand
[1st Verse: Matt]
Well I don�t know what went wrong with James
Could it have been the time Les stole his Hanes?
And put hung them up and played those silly games with James?
Well, I don�t know. Maybe
Did they drop him on his head when he was a baby?
I swear that little boy must be autistic
To dance around in dresses, wigs and lipstick
I really don�t know what went wrong
And now he�s been in the bathroom way too long
Come on, James! What are ya doin� in there
You�ve spent three hours in front of the mirror, doin� your hair
And when you come out, it still ain�t right
Lower your head, so I can ramp it with my bike
[Chorus: Steve]
Jaaames� What is up with you?
Jaaames� You smell bad, too
Jaaames� Why you act that way?
Jaaames� You must be gay
(repeat)
[2nd Verse: Tim]
Yeah, I know I�m really not the person to talk
Cuz when I go outside, people point and they gawk
I know this is a hard thing for you to see
But James, you�re even more messed up than me
I think it�s about time we had a little talk, James
It�s just that you look, act, smell, think, talk and walk strange
I hope you�re not offended by the things that I say
I�d really hate to lose you, we�re both so gay
I really gotta say this James, you�re really quite a fool
But I bet it�s from the remedial classes you take in home school
I look back and think to when all the problems started
James you sick bastard! Was that you who farted?
[Chorus: Steve]
Jaaames� What is up with you?
Jaaames� You smell bad, too
Jaaames� Why you act that way?
Jaaames� You must be gay
(repeat)
[Bridge: Mr. Schryer]
James, what is your problem?
Remember the Pokey Puppy?
James, get to work!
Food? You don�t need food
James!! Go clean up after us!
[3rd verse: Steve]
Now it�s my turn to have my say, James I hope you�re ready
Cuz I know a lot of the things I�ll say are gonna be upsetting
But I don�t care, they need to be said
What is up with those bike ramps on your head?!
James, I�m sure that you must be dyslexic
Cuz you�re about as smart as Aisha is anorexic
Some of the things I�m gonna say are really gonna hurt
What is up with you always playin� Red Alert?
2? Oh, I�m sorry, but I don�t care �bout computer games
You were a psycho on the mission trip, admit it, Mjames!
Deciduous? Oh, man! Don�t even get me started
I gotta ask you, James, are you sure you�re not retarded?
I think you have too few chromosomes, or maybe way too many
When they were passing out brains, you musta been sick, cuz you ain�t got any
You really need to quit actin� like such a fag
You�re so dumb, you couldn�t find your way out a paper bag
Obsessed with hockey, Fedorov and Lidstrom
I swear, James, you must have Down Syndrome
James! Hey James!! What, do ya got blown eardrums?
Must be from playin� those Britney Spears albums
James, answer me, what�s up with that hair?
When you walk into the nursery, those babies gettin� scared!
Seriously, man, your hair just doesn�t look very tight
Last month it was up and to the left, now it�s up and to the right
And you wonder why you turn off all the chicks
Maybe you really should go to Biorick�s
Well, James, it�s five o�clock, shouldn�t you be in bed?
So you can have visions of Erika dance naked in your head?
[Chorus: Steve]
Jaaames� What is up with you?
Jaaames� You smell bad, too
Jaaames� Why you act that way?
Jaaames� You must be gay
(repeat)
[Outro: James]
Alright, that�s enough! This stuff isn�t true!
Why do you make fun of the homoerotic things that I do?
Matt, Steve, you ought to be ashamed of yourselves!
Don�t you know you shouldn�t pick on retarded little elves?!
And Tim, you�re grounded, go to my room
Get in my bed, I�ll be up there soon
