| INTRO: THE FIRST VERSION IS SOMETHING THIS CRACKHEAD SENT ME. THE SECOND VERSION IS HOW IT TURNED OUT AFTER A LITTLE MINOR TWEAKING. ENJOY. Read the whole message Dart Test... THIS IS A POWERFUL MESSAGE. PLEASE READ ALL OF IT. I AM PASSING IT ON BECAUSE I AM CERTAINLY NOT ASHAMED TO DO SO. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.............. Dart Test... A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smithwas known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture. Sally's friend drew a picture of who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, putting a great deal of detail into her drawing, even drawing pimples on the face. Sally was pleased with the overall effect she had achieved. The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some of the students threw their darts with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Sally sat thinking about how angry she was because she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smithbegan removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced. Dr. Smith said only these words... "In as much as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto Me." Matthew 25:40. No other words were necessary; the tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ. This is an easy test; you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you, before My Father." Not ashamed ... pass this on. Ashamed ... delete it. One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught the world full of people down there. Set me a trap used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!" "What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked. Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!" "And what will you do when you get done with them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked. "Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those people!!" "How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your tears, and all your blood." Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price. Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Isn't it funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Isn't it funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. Or is it scary? Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God ). Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and! they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Isn't it funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace. Isn't it funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. Are you laughing? Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them. Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. Will YOU pass this on? .... I did <<<<<THE GOOD VERSION>>>>> Read the whole message Fart Test... THIS IS A POWERFUL MESSAGE. PLEASE READ ALL OF IT. I AM PASSING IT ON BECAUSE I AM CERTAINLY NOT ASHAMED TO DO SO. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.............. Fart Test... A young lad named Timmy, relates an experience he had in a seminary class, given by his teacher, Dr. Smith. He says that Dr. Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons. One particular day, Timmy walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many bean burritos. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to fart at the person's picture. Timmy's friend Matt drew a picture of who had stolen his boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother, Giddy. Timmy drew a picture of a former "girlfriend", putting a great deal of detail into his drawing, even drawing multiple chins on the face. Timmy was pleased with the overall effect he had achieved. The class lined up and began farting. Some of the students farted with such force that their targets were ripping apart. Timmy looked forward to his turn, and was filled with disappointment and churning bowel movements when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats. As Timmy sat thinking about how angry he was because he didn't have a chance to blow any farts at his ex-"girlfriend," Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a glass chamber holding a Mexican foreign exchange student named J�sus. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the limp body of J�sus; peanuts and skid marks covered His face and His eyes were glazed over, the room filled with a greenish-brown cloud.. Dr. Smith said only these words... "Wow it stinks in here!" -Matthew 25:40. No other words were necessary; tears filled eyes of the students focused only on the intense odor. This is an easy test; you score 100 or zero. It's your choice. If you aren't ashamed to do this, please follow the directions. J�sus said, "Oh my God, why are you guys farting at me?!." Not ashamed ... blow a big one right now and don�t care who hears you and falls over gasping for air. Ashamed ... squeeze it in until you get in the shower. One day Esteban and J�sus were having a conversation. Esteban had just come from the Madison Square Garden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, The Bulls just won the championship! I knew they couldn't be beat. I won 4 kids from some crackwhore!" "What are you going to do with them?" J�sus asked. Esteban replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to pin fighting roosters against each other, how to hate and abuse gringos, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent low-riders and enchiladas and kill each other. I'm really gonna have fun!" "And what will you do when you get done with them?" J�sus asked. "Oh, I'll eat 'em," Satan glared proudly. "How much do you want for them?" J�sus asked. "Oh, you don't want those Mexicans. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you!! You don't want those Mexicans!!" "How much?" He asked again. Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your money, and some fritatas." J�sus said, "DONE!" Then he paid the price. Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash their pants and then wonder why the world's going to New Jersey for the weekend?. Isn't it funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the crackhead on the corner who�s wearing a newspaper says? Isn't it funny how everyone wants to go to Miami provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the DEA says? Or is it scary? Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe I can fly" but still believe R. Kelly is innocent? (Who, by the way, believes he can piss.) Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you light a few forest fires all of a sudden you�re the bad guy? Isn't it funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through the White House, but the public discussion of "tomato" or "tomoto" is suppressed in the school and in the harem? Isn't it funny how someone can be so fired up for tacos on Sunday, but be an enormous gas bomb the rest of the week? Are you laughing? Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to Mexicans on your address list because you're not sure if they've got guns or not? Or what they will think of you for sending it to them? Isn't it funny how the classroom of people killed that poor dirty beaner named J�sus? Isn�t it funny how you can wiggle a pencil between your fingers and it becomes like rubber, but when you wiggle your penis between your fingers at the mall, you get arrested? Isn�t it funny how 300-pound people can get handicap spots closer to the Dairy Queen, but when I wanna get a spot closer to the Playboy Mansion, noooooooo�? Isn�t it funny how you can put wrinkly fruit in water and it gets all smooth, but if you put an old person in water, they drown? Isn�t it funny how when a 7 month old baby learns to pee in a toilet, it�s a big accomplishment, but when I learned to pee on tourists from a 7th-story window, it�s frowned upon? Isn�t it funny how police bring their uniforms and guns into a bank, and everyone feels safe, but when we try to bring AK-47�s and ski-masks into a bank, everybody hits the ground? Isn�t it funny how a guy can buy a donut with a big hole in it, and it doesn�t other him, but if he uses a condom with a itty-bitty hole in it, he freaks out and moves to Ohio? Isn�t it funny how Master P can say nigger in his songs, and everybody gives him shout-outs, but I go through Detroit and shout out nigger, I get shot at? Will YOU pass some gas? .... I did |