| [Note, this is not a rap song. It was written with a tune that was in my head that is kinda like soft rock, contemporary, or pop or something.) A Day In The Life Of James [SYRE] [1st verse] Well I woke up this morning and what did I see? A big soiled mattress that was covered in pee It's been a few weeks, I think I'll go and take a shower reamed about Britney Spears last night, I was in there for bout an hour Went downstairs, man I was hit by a wave of stench And then Giddy came and hit me in the head with a monkey wrench I cried and then my dad came down He said, "James, get your cryin' ass off the ground!" He tried to pick me up off the floor But all I did was cry some more So he gave my butt one swift kick And then he paddled my ass with a hockey stick And I just laid there screaming: [Chorus] Oh why... do I have to be James? And why... does it have be the same? Why... can't my life just change? Hey... who stole my Hanes? And why... am I always dropping names? Why... can't I stop playing computer games? Oh damn! I hate being James. Der... my name is James. [2nd verse] So I left the house, but got beat up at the Edge, see Some fat kid came and gave me a wedgie He called me stupid, he said I was dumb He slapped me until my face turned numb He told me, "Start running, I'll give you a chance." But I just stood there, wetting my pants He got disgusted, and he ran away But I got lonely, and I begged him to stay Oh why don't I have any friends? Which room do I use? The lady's or the men's? I wanna play hockey, where is Matt? That big huge glutton! Well, I guess he's not that fat. Here he comes, let's go out on the ice I must be gay, cuz damn he looks nice! Not like Britney, she's really hot! Oh no! Here comes Matt's slap shot! That hockey puck took out four of my teeth I got real dizzy, and fell to my knees Just cut my pinkie on the ice, it's starting to bleed I wonder how many dozen transfusions I'll need He tried to help me up, but no matter how hard he tried I just laid there on the ice and I cried: [Chorus] Oh why... do I have to be James? And why... does it have be the same? Why... can't my life just change? Hey... who stole my Hanes? And why... am I always dropping names? Why... can't I stop playing computer games? Oh damn! I hate being James. Der... my name is James. [3rd verse] I got back home and I went online Looked up underwear ads for Calvin Klein Wanted to do some things, but I was too hurt to So I just decided to play Red Alert 2 Then my mom came down and her face got all red When she saw that yugo guy with signs on his head She got her spatula and paddled my butt I cried, "Mommy, what?!" she screamed, "Oh, I'll show you what!" [Bridge] She really spanked me, butt She really spanked me, no no no no! She saw my game and then she paddled my ass until it went numb And took it away [Vamp] I love wearing dresses, I love my high heels I love wearin' a wig and makeup, I love the way it feels Call me a transvestite, say, "that ain't right!" I'ma keep doin' it, cuz I think it's tight! Whoo-hoo!! Ya!! (repeat) [4th verse] So I laid in by bed cuz my butt was so sore Way past my bedtime, it's almost four Giddy's out playin' with that fat kid next door When visions dance in my head of Erika Moore I just cannot describe the feeling I get Aw, dang it! Now my sheets are all wet Now I'm starting to cry And I wonder why, can't I just die? So I went and got some drugs from one of my "friends" And I over-dosed on them so my life would end Then I remembered the story of how Elvis Presley died So with the bathroom door open, I sat on the torlet with pride Then I felt enourmous pains, so I tried to relax And then I realized that I'd OD-ed on ex-lax Matt's dad saw me with the door wide open, it was too late If only I could I could constipate, that would be so great I tried to jump up to quickly shut the door But my foot got stuck in the torlet, and I fell on the floor And then my pants exploded, feces galore, all over Mr. Moore So as I laid there wondering about my health I just cried to myself: [Chorus] Oh why... do I have to be James? And why... does it have be the same? Why... can't my life just change? Hey... who stole my Hanes? And why... am I always dropping names? Why... can't I stop playing computer games? Oh damn! I hate being James. Der... my name is James. Der... my name is James. Der... my name is James. Der... my name is James. |
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