Football has a great tradition of people saying funny stuff. Keegan, Atkinson and Beckham in particular. So here's some more of my favourites.
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"Who will the 1-0 to Newcastle score line favour going into the second leg of the tie?" - Clive Tyldsley
"These guys don't play to outscore you" - Ray Wilkins
"Barnsley went ahead when Manchester United loan signing Daniel Nardiello converted Chris Shuker's killer pass. Wrexham drew level after the break when Darren Ferguson slid in at the back post, then took the lead when Chris Llewellyn struck from close range. But Stoke equalised when Michael Chopra slammed home a loose ball after Robbie Williams' shot came off the bar." - the BBC Sport website. (note: 3 teams)
"Carragher should have humped that. He's humped everything else from behind all night." - Jim Beglin
"It's funny because I was reading about, erm, the Alain Perrin this morning in the papers and he was saying 'I'm sorry for my English because it's not very good' but he's fluent isn't he? Because he makes himself understandable like an instant" � Peter Schmeichel
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best
"Playing with wingers is more effective against European sides like Brazil than English sides like Wales" - Ron Greenwood
"Are you going to make me?" - Roy Keane
"We reckon Carlton covers every blade of grass... but then you have to if your first touch is that crap" - Dave Jones
"For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip" - John Motson
"The World Cup is a truly International event" - John Motson
"It's been two ends of the same coin" - Dave Bassett
"Okon was booked for tackling Hamann's tackle" - Dave Bassett
"When Manchester United are at their best I am close to orgasm" - Gianluca Vialli
"Statistics are like miniskirts: they give you good ideas but hide the important things" - Ebbe Skovdahl
"What will you do when you leave football, Jack - will you stay in football?" - Stuart Hall
"An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." - Dave Bassett
"Beckenbauer really has gambled all his eggs." - Ron Atkinson
"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." - Tom Ferrie
"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." - Trevor Brooking
"That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice." - Trevor Brooking
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