Football has a great tradition of people saying funny stuff. Keegan, Atkinson and Beckham in particular. So here's some of my favourites.
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'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie
'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush
'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle
'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' - Mitchell Thomas
'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' - Thierry Henry
'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo
'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper
'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi
'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.' - David Beckham
'I was a young lad when I was growing up.' - David O'Leary
'In a year's time, he's a year older.' - Bobby Robson
'The first 90 minutes are the most important.' - Bobby Robson
'Home advantage gives you an advantage.' - Bobby Robson
'I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' - Jack Charlton
'It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.' - Jack Charlton
'Very few of us have any idea whatsoever of what life is like living in a goldfish bowl, except, of course, for those of us who are goldfish.' - Graham Taylor
'If you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen.' - Terry Venables
'Peru score their third, and It's 3-1 to Scotland.' - David Coleman
'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.' - David Coleman
'Ian Rush is deadly 10 times out of 10, but that wasn't one of them.' - Peter Jones
'Emile Zola has scored again for Chelsea.' - Radio 5 live
'Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin.' - Mike Ingham
'It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the scoreline on Saturday.' - Radio 5 live
'Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.' - Barry Davies
'The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee.' - Mike Ingham
'It's headed away by John Clark, using his head.' - Derek Rae
'Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.' - John Greig
'I predicted in August that Celtic would reach the final. On the eve of that final I stand by that prediction.' - Archie MacPherson
'McCarthy shakes his head in agreement with the referee.' - Martin Tyler
'It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.' - Alan Green
'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.' - David Acfield
'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.' - Peter Jones
'Forest have now lost six matches without winning.' - David Coleman
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