y2k and you.
Go back to me
It's coming up, less then one hundred days await. That's right kiddos.. The year two thousand is hitting us. Most people aren't scared and say it's all prop-o-ganda.. not me, aye.. not me. It's scaring the be-jesus outta me just thinking aboot it. I can only imagin.. the stroke of midnight and everyone yells 'happy new year!' what will happen.. i can only imagin...
Water will turn brown
pop will be unfizzy
sticky tape won't be sticky...
velcro won't; well..vel
rollaids won't spell relief
pencils will stop writing
Your fridge will start making food warm
Dogs will really eat homework
Bedrooms will become messy
Dogs will start meowing
Operah will become President of U.S. (read a book every month)
by that time, every living person with the y chromosome will have his hair short, spiky , and blonde on top.
Andrea will learn how to spell <--thanks Ney!!
abercrombie and fitch will be the only place to buy clothing. <---ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww btw i don't agree with that!
Bill Gates will rule the world.
Bill clinton will be the main pimp.
Some-who-shall-remain-nameless will ahhh, "come out"
The whales will emerge as the true leaders of earth
...and for the last, most devastating fact.... clarence will become number 2. <--don't show that one to Mr. Gentile!!!
___________________________________________________________________________________________
Crazieness part of Y2K right here!
Well when i was on spring break with Connie, we were up late at night [just like every night] while talking about mindless nonsencness.. Out of all the subjects we touched and didn't agree upon, one was Y2K. Honestly in all the craziness of it all, i think that y2K is a big marketing scam that is sucking america in. It's a lie, don't believe it!!
NOTHING WILL HAPPEN!!
But nooo, connie doesn't think so!! So!!! We made a bet! [now believe me when i say I NEVER LOOSE ON BETS] anywhoski... When nothing happens come the time the clock strikes 12:00 and the year 2000 comes upon us; Connie will graciously in a fit of furry give me her two dollars. Of course if anything does happen [and believe me, nothing will happen] i will owe Connie two cans of beans. The way we see it, is that:
-I'll really need those two cans of beans to keep me healthy (they are the magical fruit yah know) if electic doesn't work [which it will] and food stops being made..then..then... i'll be screwed.
on the other hand...
-When nothing does happen.. Connie will have to pay up two whole dollars. Crisp single bills i might add.
The two dollars i will be getting will be up on this page to spite the connie. HAHAHAHAHAHHA~!!!!!!!
[BIG thanks to Courtney and Tara and Chris!!!]
Build your own bunker
You're at the most happening New Year's Eve party in town, the ball's just dropped, and you're about to plant a turn-of-the-millennium kiss on the girl you've had a crush on since, well, Christmas. Everything's going great. Then, suddenly, you realize the bright flash you saw mid-kiss heralded not the beginning of a beautiful future together, but the first salvo in a full-scale the rmonuclear war. Sound scary? Well,
ever the perennial boyscouts, the A&F team's got a war-safe bunker floor plan all mapped out for you.
New Year's noisemakers Let the neighboring bunkers know you haven't forgotten how to party.
Powdered milk Does the body good. Just don't mix with radioactive water.
Ukulele There will be no one around to call you a lame-ass for playing the dorkiest instrument in history.
Hair buzzer While not a necessity, without it you'll look like the lost Nelson brother in less than a year.
Beans With no one around, you don't have to blame it on the dog.
Raid If you can't stop the millennium bug, you can at least keep those damn cockroaches from taking over.
Chamber pot Not the classiest way to relieve yourself, but it's better than peeing on the carpet.
Toilet paper Just because you're by yourself doesn't mean you have to be completely uncivilized.
Encyclopedia Britannica Become learned.
Abacus Your own personal Y2K-proof calculator. And you can always use more beads....
Dunkin' Donuts Eat 'em quick. They'll be stale by January 2.
Bible You're stuck in this room for the rest of your life, so you might as well be sure you're going to heaven.
Propane cooker 'Cause man can't live on Pringles alone.
Exercise bike With a steady diet of donuts, potato chips and macaroni and cheese, you're sure to need it.
Gameboy Considering that this is all you'll be doing for 50 years, you'd better save the damn princess.
Shitload of batteries Be sure you've got the right size, 'cause it'll suck if they aren't.
Ham radio Communicate with other dorks from around the world.
Hustler collection Your girl's in a bunker across town and you need something to keep you busy.
Hand lotion (with aloe) Prevents chafing.
Tissues If you think cold and flu season is bad, try a nuclear winter.
Tide detergent Gets out stains when there's no need to preserve DNA evidence.
Got any more? email meee