M A K A T A
September 2001
Issue No.9

Pilipino ka ba? (Are You Filipino?) As Filipino as mango sorbet, use chopsticks for pancit, that’s lo-mein to some. The Last Supper hangs in the kitchen covered with pokeman band-aids and grease. My ricecooker lies dormant in the closet with Imelda Marcos excess, britta dreams. I used to pick up dust with my fingers but found them coarse as rice. Down San Miguels to dull the pain Sinatra’s way, desire sampaguitas for Valentine’s Day, Betamax charity, a decent tan... Miss Saigon stubs remind me: If color is lacking my blood thou shall take... “Ovaltine, 2 sugars, please.” I’m flashing my credit card like an illegal alien at JollyBee, with its immaculate toilets. NO DOGS ALLOWED in McDonalds, you see. I admire the reds, whites, and blues; the Fil/Am flags’ reflection on my jeep. Knees shake recalling Ate’s catillion: Tragic tsismis of aging debutantes with fantasies of Lou Diamond Phillips, donning Barong and Marlboro like a regular on MTV. They drool at his colonizing swagger; a cowboy posing with a straw sombrero, alibata tattoos, gushing with Cunanan charisma — one soulpull modder-pucker. Sister Beheaded barbies smile from the wheel, burning burdens in a life-long tour. Wine stations await with plenty of free re-fills because you’re the princess of a hot- blooded family like the Corleones, but more accustomed to fiestas with lechon and suburban melodramas playing out on dry lawns. Beeps and peeps abound but the model minority’s knocks become more and more one-sided as a generation of kuya, who seeks to just bug out, wakes up increasingly out of tune, out of stoges, out of line and out of touch. Tag-a-long the edge of the driveway and you’ll notice a brother making free-throw after free-throw, missing day after day, when he was the shepard, and you, the tired angel, while Dad drove Mom to work at Beth Israel, having owned only one, ghetto vehicle. Mom got goodbye kisses— you got one cheek, I, the other; eyes and ears were covered when Brenda and Dylan showed some love; bath towels were borrowed and bad words progressed from “dork!” to “asshole!” Fortunately, The 1985 edition of Encyclopedia Brittanica, Kuhlau piano duets and banister remain. Until there’s a place for us to color outside the lines, show-off tattoos and be tardy to work: feel free to have the last chicken-wing, blast Hot-97 with the windows wide open, leave the air-con on past August 11 and chill, be merry. About the Author cliff rivera (from Spring Valley, NY). mutant. mama's boy. junglizt. chainsmoker. pancit addict. hungry. powet. running on empty. choice of hoods, cargos, blockbuster, vintage rimbaud, or harmony korine. pi. prone to laughter, peace, not-for-profits, open mics, slams, sand dunes... work in progress. FAULT LINES A lonely notion I have Of my love loving another Of our years together Drawing to a close Of quiet moments we share But with minds apart A lovely memory we no Longer have room for Faith has lost the power To restore us We misuse courage And not hold hands anyway The places we go Inform opposing exits The people we meet Miss our presence in the other Our children live in a house With two single parents A lonely promise I make To find love again in my love To open my heart so she Finds something still worth loving Even if it takes losing her So long as she is free About the Author Rosendo Makabali is from Angeles City, Philippines. Visit his website at www.geocities.com/birdandegg/ to read more of his works. The Night With Its Charcoal Haze The night with its charcoal haze will lull you back into somnolence farther away from yesterdays that broke your heart apart. Nobody knows the depth of the abyss you've fallen yourself into. In the wilderness ,you fear the resurrection of the dwarf who wiggles in the dark,whose hysterical laughters echo in the stillness of the night. But you are not surrendering to the call of golden slumber while the arrow pierces every fiber of your consciousness and the night is changing its dark coat into the orange blanket of a new born morn you will go on strumming your guitar plucking your finger from fret to fret singing your old songs for the tormented souls for the derelicts for the sleepwalkers hoping to catch between your lips the essence of a fuller life when morning breaks. Para Sa Isang Kaluluwang Nalulunod Sa Pangarap Saan ka pupunta Saan ka hahantong Kaluluwang araw gabi Sa pangarap naglulunoy? Ang mga mata mo'y nakatuon sa kawalan Ang mga paa mo'y ni ayaw ihakbang. Bakit ka nakahinto sa sangandaan ng buhay Bakit ayaw mong alamin Ang patutunguhan? Kilos,na lakad na Alamin ang pupuntahan At hanapin mo Ang daan upang madaling marating ang patutunguhan Mahabang mga oras Huwag aksayahin Ang bawat segundo sa iyong mga palad ay iyong kulugin Bakit mo sinasayang ang mahabang mga oras upang sa dakong huli ay matanto at madama mong ginto pala ang limang minuto? Halika Kaibigan Halika kaibigan damayan mo ako sa aking sinapit na kasiphayuan Ako ay umibig nagmahal ng tapat ngunit pag-ibig ko'y hinadlangan ng batas ng moralidad. Halika kaibigan damhin mo ang sugat ng aking puso damhin mo ang hirap ang kirot,ang hapdi ng kaluluwa kong nalulunod sa pighati. Hawiin mo ang ulap na ngayon ay nakalukob sa buo kong pagkatao. Halika kaibigan Nadarama mo ba ang pait kong nadarama? Nauunawaan mo ba ang aba kong kalagayan o katulad ka rin ng iba na kung kailan ko kailangan ay saka naman nawawala? Nasaan ka kaibigan damayan mo ako isilong mo ako. About the Author Shirley Cahayom is from OceanView Ave. Brooklyn, New York. She is now one of the in-house poets of Dalityapi. EXPECTATIONS! Early at dawn... He has awaken! His feet rush to the meadow. While crystal clear drops of dew, Glittered the leaves, nature's freshen. Grasses and thorns in the stony ground, Cleansed with blood by diligent hands. Sweat and tears from enduring glands, For sowing seeds to nourish the lands. He cultivates the soil until daybreak. Until the rays of twilights wake! The trees' dried leaves start to clap, And the lovely birds sing at last! Natures welcome her good friend. Comforting him with her smooth wind. Fresh air embraces while gazing, Around the field with his eyes sparkling. The farmer smile with a humble heart, Natures' hope bursting at last! The ground groaned with sounds of cracking With new shoots of plants are sprouting! Seed of truth that renews one's life If planted within the human heart Breaking the inner soul stains depart Good fruit for tommorow's delight. Hawakan Mo Ang Buhay Ko Gabi-gabi na lang...Hindi ako makatulog, Kahit anong aking gawin, Dibdib ko'y kumakabog. Mahigpit ang yakap sa unan...nakahigang patagilid Kayraming paraan ng ginawa, luha ay nangingilid. Madaling araw na...ako'y naupong saglit Nakayuko't nananangis, Panginoo'y sinasambit. Paapuhap na lumapit...sa Mesa ako'y napakapit Pata kong katawan, sa selya'y inihagis. Maliit na bombilya...binuksan kapagdaka Kinuha ko ang ballpen, at kapirasong papel sa mesa. Sa malaking tabo...lahat nakatindig Ang ilan kong ballpen, waring nakamasid. Kung titingnan mo...ay walang pakinabang, Isa-isa kong ginamit,nagbigay kulay sa aking daigdig. Isang kapirasong papel...ang nagsilbing mundo Iba't-ibang kulay ng ballpen, may nabuong paraiso. Ang pluma kong tulog...matagal ding nawaglit, Dinaiti sa kandila, tinta'y gumalaw sa init. Ngayon ay buhay na...plumang nag-iisa, Nagkaroon ng silbi,sa kamay kong balisa. Ako ay naalimpungatan...sa aking pagsulat. Buhay ko'y katulad, ng pluma kong salat. Balisa kong isip...na di makatulog Natutong maglakbay, pangarap ko'y inabot. Mata ng puso ko...binuksan ng Diyos. Nakita ang mundong, sakbibi ng lungkot. Walang humahawak...sa taong malaya Dahil sa kasalanan, lumayo siyang kusa. Ang Diyos hindi natutulog... dahil sa iyo. Nais ka Niyang hawakan, ibalik sa paraiso. O Panginoon...narito ang buhay ko. Hawakan mong parang pluma, iguhit ayon sa nais mo. MISTERYO NG PAG-IBIG Napakadilim ang kulay ng gabi. Umuulan... Gumuguhit sa karimlan Kulog at kidlat, naglalaban. Ang magkasintahan ay nagtanan. Ipinaglaban... Kanilang pagmamahalan Ang panaho'y nagngangalit. Sumisipol... Hangin sa paligid Maliit na kubo sa bukid Napuno ng Pag-ibig Nagbunga ang binhi Pumipintig... Ang buhay sa sinapupunan Sikmurang anong pait Maasim... Katawang nagbago ay naninimdim Hirap sa paghakbang Kumikirot... Sigaw ng damdamin, anong sakit! Bata ay umuha, anong tamis Ligaya ang kapalit. Dumaan ang taon, sumulat sa magulang. Humihingi... Paumanhin at tawad upang umuwi Galit na kinimkim ng magulang Di makalimutan Subalit... Matagal ding nawala Ngayon aay nakamtan nila Pagpapatawad... Ng kanilang magulang Nakita ang apo at niyakap Nangingilid... Kapagdaka'y tumulo ang luha Hinalikan... Maliliit na labi nagsalita. Mano po lolo, mano po lola Nagkatuwaan ang buong pamilya Katulad din ng dakilang pag-ibig. Inialay... Si Hesus sa Krus ay namatay Kasalanan ng tao'y binayaran Ang Dugong banal Umagos... Misteryo ng pag-ibig Makasalanan tinubos Ang Diyos ay Nagpapatawad Sa taong nagtitika at, Nagbabalik-loob na Kusa Kapatawaran... Kay Cristo nilubos Tao'y naging pamilya ng Diyos. © Victorino Vergara makata 2001 january february march april may june july august september october nov-dec